for Eos
110/19/2022 c3 Renee Aubin
Smile: ‘…Darcy rejoiced in her reluctance to step away from him.’
Wonderful dialog:
“You have discovered me today from the unacceptable position of riding astride your horse. I am sure that whatever inkling of affection you might have held for me must've been replaced by gratitude for my refusal. Any apologies that should be voiced are all mine."
Delivered, by the way, while stroking his horse, since she can’t pet Darcy.
I loved the part the horse plays:
‘She curtsied, and in a flash of brown hair, turned around and started walking away. Eos, lifting [her] head to look at [her] master as if in disapproval, shook [her] head before trotting after Elizabeth.’
More dialog that could have come straight from Austen:
“I only ask for a moment of your time, and if you still wish for my absence, I will never mention this again."
I loved how he thinks about her eyes, at several points in this story: ‘Her eyes, those sharp, twinkling, beautiful eyes, snapped [to] his.’
World-class groveling:
"You were right to accuse me of not being gentlemanly. Every mistake I made caused by my conceit, pride, and inability [to] understand your feelings, your desires, and your will, it all proved my unworthiness. I did nothing to prove that I deserved you.”
Good line: "If you can forgive me my misguided determination to believe the worst of you."
She really was determined.
I particularly loved this: "Please, don't let me go," she whispered. "Don't give me up to anyone."
That was funny banter about the need for a special license vs. restraint.
Now this is the way to make a suggestion:
"I would like to ask you something, and I want you to know that your answer will decide the matter."
[Edward Cullen could definitely take lessons here.]
Interesting: "Sir, I have spent too much time seeing bad intentions in your behaviour where none existed. You wounded me, I admit, by suggesting that my family was unsuitable for you, but what hurt me most was that I understood you.”
Makes sense, Lizzie was not given to deluding herself.
Lovely:
“How did you grow to love me?"
"You did not yield to anyone. You tease people who disillusion themselves with their superiority. You earned my respect and admiration, and before I knew it, my heart was full of you.”
Excellent, when she announces her intention to continue riding astride:
‘Although he had been shocked, their conversation had given him time to consider her peculiar but useful mastery of horse-riding.
"Would you agree to teach my sister how to ride astride a horse?"’
Followed by:
"You do not mind, then?"
"I am just as surprised to discover my feelings on the matter as you are, Miss Elizabeth.”
Fancy that – a hero who can learn and change his mind!
I enjoyed Elizabeth’s story of going out in the middle of the night to try to find Eos. And Darcy being ‘amazed by how little he knew some aspects of her character’. I suspect he’s in for a lifetime of surprises, and Elizabeth in for a lifetime of being teased.
Very clever transition to the actual proposal: "You are speaking of a future you have not explicitly asked for, sir."
And then she – charmingly – repeatedly interrupts him.
Delightful:
"But I have compromised you horribly tonight."
"I quite enjoyed it." Elizabeth hummed against his chest. "Should we make sure somebody sees us so that we are required to marry with a special licence?"
He groaned, shaking with silent laughter. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, wouldn't I?"
I enjoyed Elizabeth’s final comment. I wonder how her aunt and uncle are going to pay?
I also wanted to comment on the touches of sensuality. Though they did no more than kiss and hold each other, they certainly took pleasure in it. I’m not sure Austen even explicitly had them kiss – I’m glad you did.
As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed your imagining of this episode, and will gladly read any others you care to write.
Smile: ‘…Darcy rejoiced in her reluctance to step away from him.’
Wonderful dialog:
“You have discovered me today from the unacceptable position of riding astride your horse. I am sure that whatever inkling of affection you might have held for me must've been replaced by gratitude for my refusal. Any apologies that should be voiced are all mine."
Delivered, by the way, while stroking his horse, since she can’t pet Darcy.
I loved the part the horse plays:
‘She curtsied, and in a flash of brown hair, turned around and started walking away. Eos, lifting [her] head to look at [her] master as if in disapproval, shook [her] head before trotting after Elizabeth.’
More dialog that could have come straight from Austen:
“I only ask for a moment of your time, and if you still wish for my absence, I will never mention this again."
I loved how he thinks about her eyes, at several points in this story: ‘Her eyes, those sharp, twinkling, beautiful eyes, snapped [to] his.’
World-class groveling:
"You were right to accuse me of not being gentlemanly. Every mistake I made caused by my conceit, pride, and inability [to] understand your feelings, your desires, and your will, it all proved my unworthiness. I did nothing to prove that I deserved you.”
Good line: "If you can forgive me my misguided determination to believe the worst of you."
She really was determined.
I particularly loved this: "Please, don't let me go," she whispered. "Don't give me up to anyone."
That was funny banter about the need for a special license vs. restraint.
Now this is the way to make a suggestion:
"I would like to ask you something, and I want you to know that your answer will decide the matter."
[Edward Cullen could definitely take lessons here.]
Interesting: "Sir, I have spent too much time seeing bad intentions in your behaviour where none existed. You wounded me, I admit, by suggesting that my family was unsuitable for you, but what hurt me most was that I understood you.”
Makes sense, Lizzie was not given to deluding herself.
Lovely:
“How did you grow to love me?"
"You did not yield to anyone. You tease people who disillusion themselves with their superiority. You earned my respect and admiration, and before I knew it, my heart was full of you.”
Excellent, when she announces her intention to continue riding astride:
‘Although he had been shocked, their conversation had given him time to consider her peculiar but useful mastery of horse-riding.
"Would you agree to teach my sister how to ride astride a horse?"’
Followed by:
"You do not mind, then?"
"I am just as surprised to discover my feelings on the matter as you are, Miss Elizabeth.”
Fancy that – a hero who can learn and change his mind!
I enjoyed Elizabeth’s story of going out in the middle of the night to try to find Eos. And Darcy being ‘amazed by how little he knew some aspects of her character’. I suspect he’s in for a lifetime of surprises, and Elizabeth in for a lifetime of being teased.
Very clever transition to the actual proposal: "You are speaking of a future you have not explicitly asked for, sir."
And then she – charmingly – repeatedly interrupts him.
Delightful:
"But I have compromised you horribly tonight."
"I quite enjoyed it." Elizabeth hummed against his chest. "Should we make sure somebody sees us so that we are required to marry with a special licence?"
He groaned, shaking with silent laughter. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, wouldn't I?"
I enjoyed Elizabeth’s final comment. I wonder how her aunt and uncle are going to pay?
I also wanted to comment on the touches of sensuality. Though they did no more than kiss and hold each other, they certainly took pleasure in it. I’m not sure Austen even explicitly had them kiss – I’m glad you did.
As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed your imagining of this episode, and will gladly read any others you care to write.
10/19/2022 c2 Renee Aubin
Good use of the overheard conversation device – lucky that Elizabeth talks to the horse!
Oh, so this is a few days after that initial meeting at Pemberley, and the Gardeners and Elizabeth have remained in the area.
This is heart-wrenching.
"I'm afraid that I upset your Master yesterday. Are you very close to him? Did he tell you what I did? I cannot understand it. In the previous days, he treated me with more care and attention than I deserve, so much so that I grew to hope he'd… but I must have been wrong. He could not even look in my eyes when he left yesterday.”
After having lunch with her uncle, no doubt.
Ah, so Elizabeth regrets her sharpness when she turned down Darcy’s “proposal”. “I could not have expressed my prejudice in a less civil manner…”
A very real concern: “I fear that even if I could find a private audience with him to let him know how my feelings have changed, he might think I only wish to express my feelings because of how affluent I have witnessed his estate to be.”
Considering that her mother looks at every potential suitor with Pound signs in her eyes… Darcy must get this all the time.
I liked this explanation for Darcy recognizing the names from the novel:
‘Darcy had not read it himself, but his sister enjoyed it tremendously, and he took great pleasure in spending time with her, even if she did wish to discuss the imagined lives of people who had never existed.’
That’s a good point that Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle (and parents, for that matter) wouldn’t have known about Darcy’s previous proposal.
Ouch:
Cecelia ‘must be an accomplished lady indeed to receive his regard so quickly. He once told me how much thought he put into the idea of an accomplished lady, and he offered for me in spite of it. Now, I dare think he has found a lady he's not ashamed to love."
I enjoyed Elizabeth’s whirlwind of thoughts when Darcy reveals himself. She thinks of so many things to apologize for!
Very Darcy, after he reminds her of the penalty for stealing a horse:
‘She could not wrap her head around his expression. It was intense, calm, and his eyes were almost teasing. Was he rejoicing in her refusal, four months ago?’
How can there be such angst in a 200-year-old story when we know perfectly well there will be an HEA?
"You must know, sir, you must, I did not mean to offend you with my feelings. My last wish is for you to feel awkward around me, but I understand if you desire my absence from your life from now on.”
But Lord, there is!
The last paragraph is wonderful. Looking forward to the last installment.
Good use of the overheard conversation device – lucky that Elizabeth talks to the horse!
Oh, so this is a few days after that initial meeting at Pemberley, and the Gardeners and Elizabeth have remained in the area.
This is heart-wrenching.
"I'm afraid that I upset your Master yesterday. Are you very close to him? Did he tell you what I did? I cannot understand it. In the previous days, he treated me with more care and attention than I deserve, so much so that I grew to hope he'd… but I must have been wrong. He could not even look in my eyes when he left yesterday.”
After having lunch with her uncle, no doubt.
Ah, so Elizabeth regrets her sharpness when she turned down Darcy’s “proposal”. “I could not have expressed my prejudice in a less civil manner…”
A very real concern: “I fear that even if I could find a private audience with him to let him know how my feelings have changed, he might think I only wish to express my feelings because of how affluent I have witnessed his estate to be.”
Considering that her mother looks at every potential suitor with Pound signs in her eyes… Darcy must get this all the time.
I liked this explanation for Darcy recognizing the names from the novel:
‘Darcy had not read it himself, but his sister enjoyed it tremendously, and he took great pleasure in spending time with her, even if she did wish to discuss the imagined lives of people who had never existed.’
That’s a good point that Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle (and parents, for that matter) wouldn’t have known about Darcy’s previous proposal.
Ouch:
Cecelia ‘must be an accomplished lady indeed to receive his regard so quickly. He once told me how much thought he put into the idea of an accomplished lady, and he offered for me in spite of it. Now, I dare think he has found a lady he's not ashamed to love."
I enjoyed Elizabeth’s whirlwind of thoughts when Darcy reveals himself. She thinks of so many things to apologize for!
Very Darcy, after he reminds her of the penalty for stealing a horse:
‘She could not wrap her head around his expression. It was intense, calm, and his eyes were almost teasing. Was he rejoicing in her refusal, four months ago?’
How can there be such angst in a 200-year-old story when we know perfectly well there will be an HEA?
"You must know, sir, you must, I did not mean to offend you with my feelings. My last wish is for you to feel awkward around me, but I understand if you desire my absence from your life from now on.”
But Lord, there is!
The last paragraph is wonderful. Looking forward to the last installment.
10/19/2022 c1 Renee Aubin
While reading your very enjoyable “Maybe a Dance”, I was poking around in your profile and was delighted to see several Pride & Prejudice stories. I was even more delighted when I read this one!
Oh good: ‘…had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner, how the words plagued him…’
He should be plagued.
Aww: ‘He must try to forget the dire future that would await him with no Elizabeth in it.’
At least he has figured out what he did wrong: ‘…offending her dearest relations and expressing his desire to overcome his affections rather than rejoice in them…’
Wow he has come a long way: ‘If he was not to be her husband, he could at least be the man who might have been her equal if given more time—for he was man enough to admit that he did not deserve her.’
How did I never think of this? ‘He must find a way to influence Mr. Bennet to consider putting his two or three youngest to school, for were they to be blamed for their silliness if education had been kept from them?’
(a) I guess I just assumed they had SOME kind of schooling, and (b) I love that as in the main story he automatically includes Elizabeth’s family in his protection.
Nice: ‘Even as hurt run through his veins, Darcy could not regret having known Elizabeth for she had made him see the man he wished to become.’
I loved this: ‘…Darcy wished that, above all else, life would treat Elizabeth well. If he was to see her once a year, when he visited Bingley and she her sister, he would admire her from afar. He would rejoice in her happiness and find a way to help her with her troubles, and he would learn to do so without being detected.’
It reminds me a bit of Edward Cullen’s determination to look after Bella “from the wings” if necessary, but it’s also entirely consistent with Darcy’s character.
This is great: ‘Darcy's heart beat twice as fiercely, with twice the passion and affection he thought he could feel. It mattered not that her hair, longer than he'd imagined, was left uncovered, that she had sat astride a horse, or that she had taken said horse from his stable. She could have them all for all he cared.’
Trying to figure out the logistics – so if this takes places just after Elizabeth visits Pemberley with her aunt and uncle, then they must still be staying in nearby Lambton(?). And perhaps Darcy had lunch with Uncle Gardiner without Elizabeth, for surely her uncle wouldn’t have told that story in front of her.
While reading your very enjoyable “Maybe a Dance”, I was poking around in your profile and was delighted to see several Pride & Prejudice stories. I was even more delighted when I read this one!
Oh good: ‘…had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner, how the words plagued him…’
He should be plagued.
Aww: ‘He must try to forget the dire future that would await him with no Elizabeth in it.’
At least he has figured out what he did wrong: ‘…offending her dearest relations and expressing his desire to overcome his affections rather than rejoice in them…’
Wow he has come a long way: ‘If he was not to be her husband, he could at least be the man who might have been her equal if given more time—for he was man enough to admit that he did not deserve her.’
How did I never think of this? ‘He must find a way to influence Mr. Bennet to consider putting his two or three youngest to school, for were they to be blamed for their silliness if education had been kept from them?’
(a) I guess I just assumed they had SOME kind of schooling, and (b) I love that as in the main story he automatically includes Elizabeth’s family in his protection.
Nice: ‘Even as hurt run through his veins, Darcy could not regret having known Elizabeth for she had made him see the man he wished to become.’
I loved this: ‘…Darcy wished that, above all else, life would treat Elizabeth well. If he was to see her once a year, when he visited Bingley and she her sister, he would admire her from afar. He would rejoice in her happiness and find a way to help her with her troubles, and he would learn to do so without being detected.’
It reminds me a bit of Edward Cullen’s determination to look after Bella “from the wings” if necessary, but it’s also entirely consistent with Darcy’s character.
This is great: ‘Darcy's heart beat twice as fiercely, with twice the passion and affection he thought he could feel. It mattered not that her hair, longer than he'd imagined, was left uncovered, that she had sat astride a horse, or that she had taken said horse from his stable. She could have them all for all he cared.’
Trying to figure out the logistics – so if this takes places just after Elizabeth visits Pemberley with her aunt and uncle, then they must still be staying in nearby Lambton(?). And perhaps Darcy had lunch with Uncle Gardiner without Elizabeth, for surely her uncle wouldn’t have told that story in front of her.
6/20/2022 c3 BookWorm9892
I absolutely adore this fanfic and I can't wait to find out where you take it. So please continue writing.
I absolutely adore this fanfic and I can't wait to find out where you take it. So please continue writing.
4/3/2022 c3 Margie
I have read tis several times and have always enjoyed it. Thank you for this delightful story
I have read tis several times and have always enjoyed it. Thank you for this delightful story