FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Team Eleven

8/13/2016 c2 15NinjaFang1331
Awesome job and nice bashing for Kakashi.
8/13/2016 c1 NinjaFang1331
Awesome job with the first chapter and I like the pairing of Naruto x Rin x Yakumo.
8/13/2016 c3 DragonPony022
Good chapter, can't wait to see more
8/13/2016 c1 Destru
I feel that Naruto x Rin would be for the best in this story... I was really sad when Rin died, it frankly broke my heart so i'm really happy that in this story she is there for Naruto to care for him. I'm going to follow this story.
8/13/2016 c2 28Kairan1979
Thanks for the update.
Please don't do another Wave Arc. Think of something else.
P.S. Ignore those who dont like your portrayal of Kakashi. Let's face it, he had more than enough faults in canon, people just tend to ignore them.
8/13/2016 c2 NarutoKushina
Great chapter, I really loved Ayame giving Naruto the talk.

The test was really good as well, and I like Naruto using the reverse harem jutsu on Rin, but also getting Yakumo as well. Even incomplete it is still effective.

The part with Rin and Kakashi was good as well. I hope that although an antagonist, Kakashi turns out to be more of a pest than a threat. Really destroy his ego, if everything he tries, just is a nuisance to them. Basically Kakashi just never amounts to nothing more than just annoying pest to them.

Since Kakashi wanted to sabotage Naruto's training, I take it he hates Minato as well. So what better way to get back at him then to make sure his son kills himself basically.

If you have no plans on bringing in Haku as a teammate Wave really is not needed. At this point, only showing up team 7 would make it worth it really. I mean they go in and steal all the glory from team 7. They go in and take care of Gato and all those he hired, while team 7 is still learning tree walking. It would be kind of funny if Rin's team always shows up Kakashi's team.

Will Rin get another student?
8/12/2016 c2 WindyCitySlayer1
Awesome can't wait for more
Yay Rin is kicking ass and taking names
8/12/2016 c2 DragonPony022
Great chapter i Have to say. I think the Kakashi thing is interesting. I feel that honestly him redeeming himself would feel a bit forced. I mean if he held this resentment for all these years what in the world could possibly make him change how he feels now. I also hate to be that guy, even more so since I am not a Kakashi fan, Even tho he put is very harshly he did makes some good points about due to Rin being lack luster lead so SOOO many bad things happening. And I figured Minato would have handled that alot better than how much he jumped off the rails like he did lol.

I think it would be great if we really get to see some team and relationship build with the three of them in the next chapter. Rin has ALOT of ground work to do with these two to have them really ready to go out on the field. It would be nice to see some of that work and also to see Naruto send some time with Yakumo.

I also wonder how is Rin's standing with her clan? I mean we never really heard much about that but with how powerful she is you would think sh e would be high in the Ranking.

I get the feeling as well Yakumo might he a closet perv on the low. With her inner demon encouraging her more 'interesting' thoughts about Naruto lol. Which I also get the feeling if he gets a taste of what being intimate is like he will be hooked due to him having so little close contact during his time growing up.

Anyway great chapter, can't wait to see more
8/12/2016 c1 Jang1968
I think it's going great and a good idea to leave the pairing at naruto x Rin x yakumo
8/12/2016 c1 ivan meza
estarĂ­a bien si fuera harem
8/11/2016 c1 Kairan1979
How you are planning to get around the issue of the Chuunin Exam? Being one member short, they are at disadvantage.
8/11/2016 c1 Akashi1412
Could you add fem kyuubi? Plz
8/11/2016 c1 icecold1039
Seems to be okay. Maybe a just a tad bit too much bashing( or what seems to be bashing).
8/11/2016 c1 3Hellwalker
hmm i really liked it and please make it a Naruto x Rin x Yakumo. this is a really rare paring and i really wanted to see it instead of a full blown harem. its not like i dont like harem but the whole site if stuffed with harem stories there are very few of both Rin and Yakumo. so please consider it making only Naruto x Rin x Yakumo.
8/11/2016 c1 NarutoKushina
Well nice start, I really like stories were Rin lives. I have only seen a few where she gets to be Naruto's sensei. She should help him improve in a lot of areas at a good pace. Surprised at Rin's age since in cannon she would have only been in her late twenties

Weill if you are taking votes I saw give Naruto both Rin and Yakumo at least. A harem is good as well, but if you want to make it easier you can limit the women to a low number say 4-5.

I did not see anything wrong with the chapter. The paragraphs are not big walls of text, so they are easy to read. You went to a new line when every someone spoke, so it is easy to fallow as well.

I also don't really see anything wrong with how this chapter ended, to me it is just an introduction chapter anyways. Maybe you could have added a little history between Rin and Naruto in the middle. Plus seen just what Kakashi was thinking, but the ending was nice in my opinion. Like I said it is a introduction chapter really, so setting up some important characters and the teams. Maybe expand on them all meeting as a team for the first time and getting to know each other.

I don't think it is rushed since besides meeting each other nothing has happened. If you had them start missions already they yeah it would have been rushed.

I do wonder if they will get a third teammate say someone like Haku or Fu in the future.
63 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service