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for The Night is Darkest Just Before the Dawn

8/26/2016 c12 Denz-El
"The Bat is like the rest of those freaks," She held her infant closer as she prepared to leave. "You wanna stop him? You gotta put him down, permanently, otherwise he'll just break out like the rest of em."
- This was definitely better than the actual line used in the movie. Seriously, how would she know that "a fist" can stop Batman?

"Clark knew that this was a job for Superman."
- Great place to put that reference! :D

Jim Gordon meets Clark Kent?! I love it! Thanks for bringing these people together! ;)

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! :D Amen! :D
8/26/2016 c12 The Man
This is a neat "refinement" overall and I like a lot of the smaller additions you had like having Clark help the old lady with her groceries and Jim Gordon being present(it was a little weird not seeing him in BvS). There are some things I didn't like however. Cutting out Lex's party speech and even the Sword of Alexander scene remove a lot of important subtext(Lex is pretty much King Alexander, Superman is his Gordian Knot, and Doomsday is the sword.) and the party speech reveals a lot of Lex's motivation. I also think some of the humor felt a little out of place. The humor in the bathtub is ok and makes sense but it's weird to hear Superman and Lois Lane joke in Africa right after major shit went down. I also don't think Jimmy Olsen was necessary(Though I did like how you didn't kill him off). One other scene I had issues with is when Clark talks to Mrs. Santos. I liked the stuff she said about how the lower class are left to fend for themselves. However I think her description of her husband here was a little too nice. I think "He wasn't my husband but he was a father too" was a very economical way to talk about their relationship. I also think a lot of the stuff about Batman being the judge in the UC of the film needed to be in here. I think calling Batman as bad as the Joker is unreasonable. It's fine for a character to be unreasonable, but this character is the reason Clark uses Superman to confront Batman so I think it's important that she stays a character the audience can somewhat agree with. In regards to your writing style, I think that the really dense and even poetic dialogue in BvS doesn't really fit well with a lot of the prose here. I think a writing style that would really work well for something like BvS is one akin to that of Matthew Stover author of the Revenge of the Sith Novelization, Shatterpoint, and other books. I highly recommend you read those books if you haven't already. His style of writing is really poetic and cool and really elevates a lot of situations. I think that sort of writing style would work really well here.

Again I just want to say you did a really good job with this. I just nitpicked and had some complaints.
8/23/2016 c10 Denz-El
Clark's segment was very insightful, humble, and has just an appropriate amount of sweetness to relieve the tension! :)

"He never thought of himself as some God sent here to impose his will on others. All he wanted to do was to help people. For the most part, he was little more than a super-powered firefighter." - Love this part! :D

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! :D Amen! :D
8/21/2016 c9 Denz-El
It was actually pretty interesting to see the whole thing from Bruce's perspective. He's just undeniably annoyed with everyone he bumps into here: Clark Kent, the alien-loving moron, Lex Luthor and his obnoxiousness, the "woman in red" (at least there aren't Agents showing up), Alfred, and even himself.

Also thanks for making Lex give the excuse of "favorite articles" for inviting Clark over. I've always thought that he should have said something along those lines in the same scene in the movie. Gives a reason for why he would know about Clark Kent specifically and refer to him the way he did in front of Bruce.

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! Amen! :D
8/21/2016 c8 Denz-El
It's nice to see Bruce feeling reasonably guilty about SOME of his activities.

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! :D Amen! :D
8/21/2016 c7 Denz-El
Man, this was a gooooooood one! :D
So nice to see that Jimmy's in his natural element and is being well-utilized! :D
And wow, it is so nice to see Clark's optimism, idealism, and overall positivity shine through, while still showing that recent events really are affecting him! :D

Good job! :D

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! Amen! :D
8/21/2016 c9 Cas
Love how dark and somewhat evil Bruce is and how sad it is that Clark cannot be the simble of hope
for mankind that he wnats to be, because mankind only wants to listen to themself. :(

Please continue
8/21/2016 c5 Denz-El
"A well-adjusted Superman available sometimes was better than an always present one crumbling in on himself."

Well said. :)

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! Amen! :D
8/20/2016 c3 Denz-El
Thank you so much for saving Jimmy! :D I hope to see more of him interacting woth the Daily Planet Crew. I'm curious to see his interactions with Jenny Jurwich. I dunno maybe they can have some sort of rivalry?

Also thanks for clarifying that the general did in fact survive. My personal interpretation of this scene in the film is that Supes headbutted the walls first just before the generals head could hit them. But yeah, my first reaction to seeing this the first time was: "What the heck, Superman?! Did you forget about Zod or something?!". (The Knightmare certainly didn't help, and actually made Clark's later declaration to Lois of "You are my World" ominous rather than sweet and hertbreaking.

Superman could have been shown in a better light of only they didn't follow up the Black Zero Event with such a violent rescue, and if only they'd not included the line: "She was my world. And you took her from me." in the Knightmare.

Also, pushing Batman away when he was totally within hearing range of Clark's explanation was just dumb, in my honest opinion. Bats and Supes walking up to each other face to face is indeed a cool image, but they should have just edited the scene to look like Batman immediately follows up the sound weapons with the machine guns, Clark never really getting a chance to explain himself. Grabbing Batman and flying him through the building would have been the only way for him to get out of the obviously weaponized alley and the vigilante to literally "stay down" and hear him out... But of course, that's when Bats brings out the Kryptonite gas... Ahem. Sorry for the rant.)

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! :D Amen! :D
8/20/2016 c2 Denz-El
Dang... Having Lucius in the building instead of Jack makes it hit home all the more.

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward. Amen ! :D
8/20/2016 c1 Denz-El
Wow... just... Wow!

The Dream sequence was just wonderfully weird and powerfully emotional. I friggin' teared up when the Wayne's got shot, especially at the parts where Martha tries to defend Bruce and Thomas still behaves like a doctor to try and save his wife despite his own fatal injury. Also the whole scene was just beutifully and eerily creative. You really got the dream-like effect down. And you can really feel Bruce's fear and pain throughput the whole thing. I just can't help but feel sorry for the poor kid.

Also, older Bruce waking up from that dream was just a nice addition. But I think it would have been better if he woke up at about 3 or 4 PM instead of 7 AM. It would have better matched the events from Man of Steel. Maybe Bruce rembers that he refused to rest so he can investigate Zod's worldwide "You are not alone" message. But of course, Bruce's body chooses this moment to shut down on him (due to him being very sleep-deprived as a result of a month's/week's worth of investigations,etc) and he just falls asleep. And that's when he has the dream.

But still, I really liked this first chapter and rest assured that this fan-novelization has my complete support! :D

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! :D
8/19/2016 c7 Wingless angel
When your done with this can you please do a clark and Diana you know a what if and I believe the movie was epic but feels like something missing and thanks to cinemawins and you thanks
8/18/2016 c7 Casper
LOVE IT :)
8/17/2016 c6 8The Necroposter
Since I'm one of the people who thought this Lex Luthor was actually interesting and genuinely brilliant, I am very happy with how you wrote his introduction. The changes you made rang true, as well. June's POV was very compelling. I like being in her head.
8/17/2016 c5 The Necroposter
Your characterisation is really great. I have to say I'm really happy with your additions.
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