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for Comatose

5/1/2020 c10 13Girl of Blue Fire
What a scene! Very hot (sex scenes are hard to do) and I thought you got both Kaiba and Tea's sweetness and defensiveness here very well. It's kinda how i'd imagine them. I thought Tea breaking his defensive walls with honesty is so spot on, that's how i plan to write her too but wow isn't it difficult! You're doing a great job. Also - Mokuba, Yugi and the crew all looking at Kaiba and Tea's sex brain waves like 'Hmm yes strong brain activity...I think they've found each other and are doing okay..."


This was the most hilarious and yet disturbing thing! Like yep they are screwing each other literally up the wall. Strong brain activity lol...

Plus I've always felt Kaiba would like to get intimate in cyberspace first as it's *his* space, somewhere pure where he can control. I feel that even more so on watching the sub version of DSoD where he referred to the body as a literal prison and Duel Links as a way to unleash the soul and its potential. Dude is amazing and also has big issues, but that's why we love him. Good job!
5/1/2020 c1 Girl of Blue Fire
Very interesting and well written, I'm intrigued and looking forward to more! I liked the use of Kaiba's virtual tech to help Tea as that is very much in keeping with the Yugioh world. Yugi's reaction was heartbreaking as was the bit with Mokuba and Kaiba realising he might have just lost him for good because of another one of his impulsive actions. It's a hard thing to pull off, given how repressed and outwardly callous Kaiba can appear, but I thought you captured his frustration and need to save Tea very well as something arising from his own character traits as opposed to some (for now) OOC love for her. I really look forward to seeing how the relationship develops though ;) I think you mentioned in your bio that you are an aspiring author and given how good this fic was I thought I might offer a little constructive feedback as well to make it even better. I notice there is a few bits of repetition of words esp 'comatose'. This is something I really struggle with too as a writer and find onerous to search for in editing esp between chapters but I find it makes a difference. However pay no mind if you aren't looking for that sort of feedback because rest assured i will be reading and enjoying the rest regardless!
4/19/2020 c33 Cait4321
Thabk you so much for the update! Hope you are keeping safe. You had a massive 2019 indeed... congrats on yours engagement and job... and sorry for the loss of your fur baby!

Appreciate you taking the time to update for us, and as always looking forward to the next chapter.

4/7/2020 c32 Guest
Good story. Please keep writing it.
11/27/2019 c32 Guest
This is THE MOST amazing tea and seto story ever. Shit I am gong to make an account to review this even
2/11/2019 c32 4usagi moonie
Está increible tu fic, adoro a Seto, pero me quedo preocupada por lo que le está pasando, por un momento creí que había muerto y ya me estaba poniendo muy triste, gracias al cielo que no es así, espero que muy pronto actualices.

La forma en como narras me ha dejado fascinada, y como expresas los sentimientos de los personajes es genial.

Saludos desde México.
2/11/2019 c28 6OpalMagnus
Kaiba, you dunce, I'm so mad at you! Lol But oh my God I was like shivering at points because of how you write about Kaiba and Anzu being close and I could feel that chapped kiss on the forehead. Ugh! You're so good. Wonderful. And look at how much you've improved since chapter one it's amazing, absolutely amazing that you give these wonderfully vivid descriptions.

Can't wait to read the next chapter.


2/10/2019 c32 Cait4321
Thanks so much for the update! Cant wait to see the next chapter :D

2/10/2019 c32 93lalalei
Oh snap o.o That fake Seto sounds like a mix of Tea's worst fears about Seto and Seto's own insecurities!
12/23/2018 c31 WhiteEclipse6
Wooow such a good story! I hope you update soon!
12/18/2018 c31 100Azurite
EEEEEEEE! I finally got around to reading this, and damn you, you really know how to draw out the cliffhanger! You and me are in the same boat with writing though; you can have a chapter pretty well planned, even partially written, but for some reason, you just feel... stuck. I've been there. Hey, maybe we should bounce chapters off one another?

I'm curious how long you've planned the story to be, or if it's more about hitting certain beats, coming full circle with Seto now being the one trapped in the virtual world and Téa being the one to save him? I doubt you want the Seto-being-trapped arc to be as long as the one with Téa, what with the hour long time limit, but the virtual world DOES operate on a different time scale, so...
12/4/2018 c31 flyingpinkunicorn
I apologize in advance for not having left previous feedback on your previous chapters, some of them were quite phenomenal! I in particular enjoy how easy it is to read your writing.

I'm not sure if you have a beta/editor or not, as I did notice writing flow oddities and typos and such, and was wondering that you were likely feeling rushed to ship out the chapters. It's totally understandable and fanfiction writing should not be treated as the most serious thing in the world, but I as a fellow fic writer and a reader would still patiently await your next chapter, as the quality is worth it! I've been following your story for a while and the emails I get about you updating your story always makes me happy. Keep up the good work; you're almost there!
12/3/2018 c31 Cait4321
Hi, thanks so much for the update. It was a great chapter!

I'm not an author and can only imagine how writers block feels... but it sounds awful, so a huge thank you for persevering and being able to update :)

I'm really looking forward to the next few chapters and where you take the story next.

9/26/2018 c30 1xSapphirexRosesxFanx
please UPDATE really soon!
TEAxSETO forever!
7/30/2018 c30 100Azurite
Awwwww heeeeeelllll naw.
Nope, nope, nope, I did not just power through 10 chapters of this for Seto to go and fail to upload himself due to a power surge or a backup generator failure or some dumb weather. And where the heck is Téa?

That said, I love how you're bugged by updates a month and a half apart. I wish I could churn out chapters at that rate, let alone even sooner!

In trying to come up with a review to cover the last 10 chapters or so, I could either write a short essay here or DM you on the Discord chat. Maybe the latter is smarter. In any case, I love how you've continually ramped up the tension, but still had follow through on the sexual tension between Seto and Téa. That needed resolution, but of course, it's not enough to have heavy make-out sessions and sex in order to fix a relationship that started on pretty screwed-up premises.

I also like the attention to detail you've followed: lengthy legal proceedings, a board of directors unwilling to let Kaiba continue to be a risk factor for them as CEO, the suspicious burn marks, the susceptibility of the everyman to a bribe if someone just wants to cop a smoke in a fancy apartment's lobby... There are a few details that maybe I'm misremembering because it's been a while since the earlier chapters, but guns are pretty much illegal in Japan, so is Domino City supposed to be elsewhere? Or would Kaiba have actually gone through the crazy-lengthy process to get a gun for sport or hunting... and yet, it would be a handgun, concealable, and not a rifle?

It's such a small detail, but it's crucial because the gun registration was the thing that tied the arson of Project Téa back to Seto in the first place, though I suppose there would have been something else that happened that could have tied him back to the scene, whether it was in the mansion or not. (And geez Kaiba, do you not take out your trash!? I am not advocating for Kaiba getting away with his crime, because it WAS a crime, and very dangerous at that, and he could have gone about it any number of other ways, but... he somehow dealt with it, even if he cost his company millions, and... well).

Hey, this has turned into a short essay anyway! Oops. In any case, you know where to find me and I will probably pester you to see more of this soon. I can't wait to see how it concludes! (Oh, and we still have to do that interview one of these days!)
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