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for The Prince, The Girl, The Lion

3/22/2023 c28 21234booklover
YOU'VE READ SIX OF CROWS? i literally gasped out loud aha! i'm absolutely obsessed with that duology

i binged this fic under 2 hours and the nostalgia ahhh
8/25/2022 c27 Grace
Can’t wait to read the final chapters. This story has been so well-detailed & written like it actually could have happened. I’ve enjoyed it very much.
2/20/2022 c26 4SilentAssassin786
Really loved the story till now! Keep up with the great work, and if you're reading this don't be disheartened by the low number of reviews. I've read garbage fics nowhere near as good as this with 10 times the reviews.

What's important is how well a writer can engage their audience, and you've done that brilliantly!
7/17/2021 c1 52A Talking Cat
Having read half this chapter, I'll be eager to read more! It seems a shame that this fic hasn't been reviewed much. It looks like fun! I'll get to it when I have more time. :)
6/10/2021 c22 5wildflowerchildGrace
I can’t wait to see what happens next. I’m so ready for the rest of the story haha. Hope you can update soon. I’m on pins & needles wanting to know how the rest of the story unfolds.
1/28/2021 c20 Grace
Love this revamped version! Can’t wait to see what the future & final chapters hold. Hope you can update it soon!
1/11/2021 c19 Guest
I just have to say I adore this story. Just got back into the fandom and most of the Edmund/oc stories are abandoned and unfinished but this? Oh I love it. Incredible! *chef’s kiss* thank you for making my time in quarantine so much more enjoyable. I can’t wait to see more of Beth and Ed, they’re absolutely adorable~ beautiful story, I can’t wait to read more!
8/17/2020 c2 23AlEmily360
Hmm... this is interesting... even through I don’t know who half the people is... and I’ll continue read this...
8/17/2020 c1 AlEmily360
Wow! This is a great first chapter! I did tell you I’ll read this eventually. So here I am, bored out of my mind and reading fic I can barely understand because I only read the first four book of Narnia lol! Anyways, base on what I know and remember, this is a great fic! And I’ll keep reading onto I get confused! And then there’ll be lots of questions lol! And now I’ll continue read this fic!
7/14/2020 c22 theias
omg, this story is AMAZING! i love your creativity and honestly i cannot edit for the next chapters and the adventure beth has to go on to save her brother. PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
5/5/2020 c2 17SweetSunnyRose
Hmm, this could be interesting. It sounds like Archenland might get a little involved in the Narnian Revolution, and I'm always on the hunt for Edmund/OC stories.

I do want to point out a few things though. I noticed at the top of this chapter you stated that you recently edited it. Well, I am still seeing a few mistakes. Most of them are simple but they can be bothersome. For example, on the last part of this chapter you used both the name "Thorin" and "Torin." I'm not sure if these are supposed to be the same person and you simply left the "h" off (or accidentally put it in) or if they are two different people (in which case I would suggest changing the name of one to eliminate the confusion). In another instance you left the "T" off of "but". Like I said, simple errors that I make all the time too. I would suggest you read the chapter out loud to yourself a couple of times before posting. I also wait several days after typing it then go back and read it. As the author we know what we meant to say and so our brains naturally fill it in, by waiting a few days it allows for a sort of "reset" on our brains and we find those irksome typos.

I also noticed, once or twice, a POV change that was out of place. While the Pevensies are sitting in the train station, after Peter returns to sitting on the bench you suddenly jumped to first person and said "she took my hand too" or something to that affect. I'm guessing (maybe) this was once in first person and that you simply missed that pronoun when editing.

This last thing is more of a personal view, but I'll share it anyway. I know the siblings probably call Susan Su or Lucy Lu, and that's perfectly fine. However, I see that as more of a familial nickname and it reads weird to me to use that nickname as a dialogue tag in a third person POV since we (the reader) do not share familial ties with the speaker. Now to say "Lu, where's your cordial?" is fine. But "Aslan will come, Peter," Lu said, ... just seems weird to me. I would use "Lucy said" in this instance. Like I said, this is a personal thing and others may completely disagree with me.

Wow, I didn't mean for this to be so long and I do hope it doesn't come off as harsh in any way. I am simply trying to offer a few tips that might make reading your story a little easier for those who find it difficult to look beyond bothersome typos. I do see a bit of potential with this story so far and I'm looking forward to finding out more about Beth where she fits in/how she changes things. It takes a lot of courage to put a piece of yourself out there for strangers to see and judge and every author does just that when they post a story, so kudos to you for that.
4/17/2020 c22 Grace
I’m finding myself quite enjoying this. I can’t wait for the next chapter to come out. I’m ready to know the rest of the story. (I’m also a bit impatient haha).
1/7/2017 c18 1Luthelight
Oh, hey! I just found your story, and I read it pretty quickly cause I'm loving it. Please update when you can, I'm looking forward!
10/6/2016 c1 4janusscientes
Your grammar and typos are almost painful to read. The story itself might be good but I'll never find out. Please learn some English before you start writing.
8/17/2016 c8 8wickedpeach
This is really good! Do you update via watt pad first and then upload here?
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