Just In
for Carry on, because life goes on

1/1 c6 NetherOrbit
I still love the banter between LOL and Lisbeth. It’s easy to forget just how clueless Aincrad Asuna was early on, it’s fun to see her this way and learn. The white lies regarding Diavel’s error/selfishness is for the best.

I like how the beta testers are described to be more selfish and ruthless by Kibaou. Before they were simply guys who just hogged all the information, but now there are some that go as far as to harm other players for their hunting grounds. Kibaou and Lind finding out that Diavel was a beta tester would shatter their world-view. Though one thing I want to point out is players attacking each other in the Town of Beginnings, it’s a safe zone so I don’t think robbery can be a thing? I do miss sassy Asuna, and I find her talking back to Kibaou like that fitting.

Vulgar Lisbeth is fun to read and the hint that Asuna knows how to think smart gives her that potential to be a great player. I like that everyone is trying to friend each other and willing to work in groups to try and improve themselves. Nice Yugioh reference at the end.

It’s funny to think Uzala indirectly helped the future Knight Commander of the guild he’ll join eventually. Him finding a friend in his attempted suicide was nice. All human beings have the will to live in their dying moments, even if they tell themselves it’s not worth it anymore. It’s also one of the reasons why willpower surpassing the system doesn’t sit well with me since everyone should be able to access that near-death, not just Kirito and Asuna.
1/5/2020 c7 TravelingRoxas
Amazing story so far!
5/6/2019 c1 StraxyX
The words just flow in tandem with each other here xD
4/26/2019 c1 BIGJ
Hello it’s me the guy who wrote Phoenix of darkness your story is really good please read and review mine please and tell your friends about it
4/25/2019 c14 NetherOrbit
Glad to see this updated!

Given Lis’ friendly charisma, it makes sense that she’s good with kids. Though controlling them is another story. Her switching out her vulgar language due to being around kids was a nice touch. It’s cool that Integral Factor characters are being introduced and the MC of the game being called “Anonymous” in-game is actually pretty clever. The dynamic between him and Agil seems to be rival-bros. Lisbeth pulling off that businesswoman tongue on Koharu.

Don’t know much about the console gameverse, but Rain being proficient in those two weapons separately foreshadows the Dual-blade technique. LOL seems to be amping up the teasing this chapter, probably wants to lighten up the mood ever since losing a comrade. When you make a video game with 100 floors and you need unique mobs for each one, you sort of have to get creative. I’m assuming the Giant Uniboar doesn’t have that much of a stat inflation if Agil can solo it with little issue.

Agil does own a restaurant/cafe so it’s not a huge surprise that he could cook. Good thing Kayaba gives some leeway when it comes to video game equipment convenience. Fan service will have to wait until the other girls show up. It’s good that LOL is trying to create his own fun.

The Magnatherium went down with the power of teamwork. It would be cool if the vegetation actually was on fire and it works as a boss phase where they have to put it out, or it makes the bear stronger. Diavel does know how to pump up people. LOL will have to save what he can.

I suppose the mention of Ashley is a Girls Ops reference? Anon seems to have really bad timing despite having good intentions.
3/12/2019 c13 Mechameleon
This story is really good so far! I actually ended up taking screenshots of the LOL and Klein chat logs because they're so good. Keep it up!
7/2/2018 c13 Fireheart Feyre

Reading this chapter is like being a proud mother hen. *Wipes tear* YOU’VE COME SO FAR AND I’M SO PROUD. This was a really good chapter, mate! *continues wiping tears*

You got the action scenes, the atmosphere and the relationships across! It wa e.

Heck. You may have lowkey inspired me to continue my novel since I’ve stopped like months back. I’m so proud. This chapter was /killer/ and I am so damn happy for you!

Okay okay i’ll stop acting like a proud mother hen now. As usual, my inbox is always open. So if you need any advice or w/e, feel free to send me a message!

On a critical aspect, I’ve noticed you’ve started writing longer? It’s cool. Seriously. Long chapters are great if you personally find it up your speed, but as the saying goes - sometimes the shorter, the sweeter. Some paragraphs and scenes may be in excess, and overall detach from the current chapter’s theme. So, if something personally feels unnecessary, or unimportant, to what is going to really go down in the chapter - rewrite it, scrap it, or redelegate it to an earlier or later chapter. The best example, I suppose I could cite, is all the guild introductions and explanations. If the primary focus, in the end, for this chapter was the DDA - it may have been better to give them the full spotlight, so on. This also allows for shorter, straight to the point chapters, that overall feel more organized.

Anyway. You do you. I’m still proud!
6/28/2018 c13 NetherOrbit
Good thing Heathcliff isn't in range of LOL when he was talking shit about his game. XD I really enjoy the casual and mischievous portrayal of Argo and Lisbeth. I'm also glad that Diavel isn't pushed to the side after making him live, he does provide charisma and is a really good leader. Not sure if this was in the original, but adding buffs to players in the same party as their guild is a nice touch.

Nice jab at the Knights of the Blood Oath's and the Divine Dragon Alliance's name. The politics behind the guilds and how restrictive they can possibly be if you join one sounds interesting. Secret and optional bosses are always cool, adds more world-building to the game. Seems like information is more important in this fic than it ever was in the original.

The moments where LOL openly cares for Lisbeth are nice, you got her reaction to stay back spot on. Yikes, traps and mimics are definitely cruel, the fear of loss is definitely taking it's toll on LOL.

Is that a Fire Emblem reference I saw. XD Those two better join up with a blue-haired player named Marth! Strange how the "eviler" version of your typical Kobold is paying no mind to intruders unless provoked? Speed debuff magic, I'll say that's definitely new for an SAO fic. There's no harm in adding some sort of magic into SAO.

So LOL now feels the loss of a comrade despite not being too close to him. Him and Dillon could probably sort their feelings out on this. Was there a reward for killing the [Demonic Kobold], the black sword could have been a drop? I doubt LOL would want the sword since it would just serve as a reminder. The Argo comforting scene was sweet, LOL has to learn when to take off the positive mask.

I really appreciate the effort you go through to write these fight scenes, this was really well done. Dillon being teased by the grinning Lisbeth and LOL is to be expected. XD His description of Philia almost reminds me of Sinon, I really want to see more of Philia's and Dillon's friendship. Him slipping up on Leafa's real name is definitely going to bite him in the ass!
4/28/2018 c12 NetherOrbit
I like the amount of detail and lore put into each floor, makes SAO feel "bigger" compared to the anime.

So Kizmel is going to play a major role this chapter, I know she played a role in Progressive and was in gameverse. I love it when characters fuck around with the NPCs, LOL flirting with Kizmel was hilarious XD.

Nice to see LOL switching up weapons for the proper situation, smart. Virtual spiders can't be fun to fight...

The amount of self-awareness and life Kizmel has is impressive, them sympathizing with her makes a lot of sense here considering how "human" her reactions are. Well, as a foreigner who doesn't know what autographs are. She does know how to take a joke though. XD

Nice self-awareness with LOL acknowledging Asuna as a tsundere. Still feels a bit weird that Kirito is "friendly" and isn't being an emo lone wolf. Lis is going to get those two back somehow for insulting her "queenly" title!

Dillon and LOL finally caught up, good to see that he got into Godfree's group with no trouble. And... things got dark with that ending, looking forward to how LOL overcomes these nightmares.
3/7/2018 c11 NetherOrbit
I'm liking the inner conflict and guilt Dillon is facing after losing his allies. It's realistic that he would want to stop fighting for a while and maybe stop fighting altogether. Having Dillon join [MMO Today] was a neat idea. Thinker and Yulier were pretty much just "there" and didn't serve much in the original so I'm glad they are getting a slightly bigger role.

Didn't expect Philia to appear, but it's cool to have a gameverse character show up. I really enjoyed how she handled the starving player situation and it does show the struggle and insanity that is happening in SAO. Looks like Dillon finally mustered up the resolve to fight in the front lines again. Also liking the bond Philia and Dillon are forming as close allies and friends, perhaps he'll help break her rather serious exterior the more they bond and fight together?

Don't know too much about gameverse aside from a few things but I always saw Philia as a "serious" girl from the brief moments I saw of her. Her initial anime portrait expression also give off that vibe.

That Suguha omake at the end really touches on how the trauma of SAO is also affecting the players' loved ones in the real world.
2/25/2018 c10 NetherOrbit
Hey it's a Dillon chapter! I'm for the different perspectives! :D

It's interesting to see the characters' lives before SAO began. I like that Daisuke is also friends with Nagata.

Daisuke must really care about his friends to get that much of an adrenaline rush. Strange how it wasn't until now that Masato was reported? If he kept the honest facade for so long I figured he would get away with it and claim that the victim was lying?

That Suguha and Daisuke moment was rather cute, I do love how supportive and optimistic she is.

And now here's the incredibly dark side of SAO that I wished the original incorporated more of. Pretty accurate to how one might feel when suddenly put into a death game.

It is sad how Dillon made close connections to his party members and friends, only for their lives to be taken away. Too bad Akroor felt betrayed by his own friends moments before he died. Hope things will turn a bit brighter for Dillon in the future!
1/2/2018 c9 ARSLOTHES
looking forward to the next chapter
1/1/2018 c9 Nicole
Oh my gosh what an amazing story! Your writing is so entertaining and love our very own OG, LOL. He’s a really unique OC and thinks the funniest things (like the “cow monsters” skipping leg day. Dunno which chapter that’s in but it’s stuck with me). Keep writing! It’s so good! (Oh and in your summary I think you forgot an r “...grit you*r* broken teeth and...”.) thanks for the amazing story!
1/1/2018 c9 NetherOrbit
New year, new chapter! :D

Looks like Silica and 21 gets some focus, she is the one character who needs the most development, she wasn't much in the original.

Moonlit Black Cats gets their debut, nice descriptions for each one of them.

Lis finally gets her original SAO look, I really love that design! Even LOL admits that she is cute! LOL and Lis lecturing the guild on how the game works and their treatment of Sachi is a nice touch. They weren't the brightest in the original XD. Lovin' the LOL, Lis, and Argo dynamic!

LOL and Klein chat history..., got to hand it to Klein! I also like the bits of development and backstory you're giving to Sachi and her guild.

Also Silica is determined to risk her life to benefit everyone. Sasha's logic about the children wanting to fight stronger mobs eventually is accurate. I'm liking the Silica you are showing here so far.
11/25/2017 c8 Fireheart Feyre
Oooooh, end of Arc 1, eh? Things should be getting really interesting then. (Do my eyes deceive me or was that a cameo in the first few paragraphs? omg)

I adore the fact that the side characters are getting so much love, and they feel really... honest, for lack of a better word. It's super nice to see a story with an ensemble cast that aren't completely one-dimensional

(Also that line about how Klein is still single, I honestly laughed. It was so cute.)

It's also nice to see diplomacy win the day, rather than slaughter. (A certain axe-wielder approves, hah)

Have I mentioned that Claws is great? Because he is

That omake was such a nice touch, gives an implication of there being more to come rather than filler.

Can't wait until the next chapter~!
19 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service