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2/18/2018 c10 deathlyHealer
Oooh I really love this! Your characterisations of Sans and Papyrus are so perfect! I know you haven't updated this in a while, but please update soon! I want to read more :)
7/11/2017 c4 1thoughtbubbl
Author... was you wrote in this story... it's absolutely amazing. It's just so filled with emotion. The work and feelings that you put in here... it's just indescribable. I'm going to be honest, ive seen a lot of depressing fictions on this site, but this one... This one is not just the angst and depression, this is also filled with warm feelings of love and compassion a long with your fantastic writing skills. I admit, I've cried more than i would like to admit when reading this. Everything is just so bittersweet and warm and sad at the same time. I know what it feels like to be hollow and empty inside, the feeling of no longer having the energy to do anything, and the way you wrote the narrator shows all of that, but then the warm sensations are just so real. So thank you, thank you for sharing this beautiful work with us, and honestly, this review is long over-due :P.
11/11/2016 c9 12TurtleChix
awe I want to read more this is awesome!
9/14/2016 c7 130n3dge
Currently enjoying this a lot.

The writing style (self insert) still didn't really kick in my mind, as in: didn't realize, until the 3 chapter I think.

But, I can't wait for more, and keep up the good work.
9/12/2016 c7 Guest
Thank you for writing what you have so far, even if you never update I'm still glad that this story exists.
9/6/2016 c5 9Lutias'Kokopelli
I must admit, I wasn't expecting much at first. I'm not that fond of such depressing thoughts (reason why I myself kinda write about it? Haha, here comes the hospital mocking charity), so for the first two chapters... It really was the writing style that got me hooked. And I'm gonna say- this is the first time it happened in that order in a long time. I'm sort of hard to satisfy with the form so usually I try only to stick to the plot and forgive the rest as long as the story is good- but here, well.
Maybe just the chapters are still kinda short, but uh, it helped me read it all at once untill the end and I know by experience that online readers and long chapters don't get along that well (which is why mine are 5,000 words each of course XD).

So, honestly. At first only your style caught my interest, but since the third/fourth chapter, and now the fifth... I really do start to enjoy deeply the psychology of your characters. And oh how much do I love psychology when it's deep and ambiguous.
I just, uh, am not that fond of of stories where the characters' dialogues merely follow the script. But in this case... I guess it just kinda further digs into the OC's depression and helps them not get attached too much to them, by trying not to alter the plot now that it's settled, and stay detached from the monsters so that they wouldn't miss them too much? Ha, just rambling. And looking at the fifth chapter it doesn't sound that true anymore.

Whelp. I'm curious. Good luck with your work and keep going ! ;D
9/5/2016 c5 SilverRhythm118
I honesty thought this was going to be a edgy story but i am enjoying this story, plus not enough male OCs so i'm very happy right now,

i do hope you explain why he lost his grip on life soon~
9/3/2016 c5 13PenguinBandit523
Usually I don't care for most pure-OC stories (at least in the Undertale category), but I'm really liking this one so far. (Though I admit to being a bit biased because stories involving depression (and/or anxiety) really resonate with me.)

Either way, I can't wait to see how this goes, and how the characters' interactions with the 8th fallen (not sure what else to call him/her) will change, especially when they see his/her soul.
9/3/2016 c5 6UltimateGamer101
Ooooh yus
9/2/2016 c4 2HungryGremlin
I'm really enjoying this story, very well written. I'm saying this as someone who's recovered from depression myself, that you're doing great here.
9/2/2016 c4 Rae
I liiiike, mc be like, ugh so tired to do anything right now so can i just die? , quick and easy way to escape.

I don't have any qualms regarding how you write your story out. I'm simply interested for the future chapters. Haha, great work. w
9/1/2016 c4 6UltimateGamer101
o.o please continue beyond a chapter I like this story
8/29/2016 c3 Sirei
Tears mixed and mingling with Determination. Can you? Can you even make such a promise, even to yourself, that this time Toriel be spared the heartache and sorrow of losing another child? That being, that from beginning of the Tale was so kind, so heartwarming and loveable, the person that never judged but always gave no matter if it was a monster in human form or a child of peace and friendship that came to her.

Did you cry as much as me when you saw people, possessed by chara doing unimaginable things to the pun-ification of coolness and friendship?

Never in my life had an emotion be so overwhelming as in that moment, hate, deep grating, open maws of terrifying anger and helplessness which combined together to the most terrifying hatred that I was ever to feel.

Toriel, sweet sweet mom of lost children, of children like me, who can't or won't find their way, slaughtered in a bizarre fashion of red, white and purple. Oh how I griefed, oh how I cried. And now this sweet person offers me something, something I never had before, never had been offered, never even knew it existed.

Companionship, warmth and unconditional love.

Oh how sweet it tastes on my tongue, like butterscotch and cinnamon. And though I dislike both flavours with a huge passion, this mother and giver of so warm and sweet emotions lets me taste them as if they were love and heaven on my tongue. The tears are falling and nothing could make them stop falling, crying for a life I've never lived, emotions I've never felt and a mother I would have loved to call my own.

And I wish by the stars, the flowers and the annoying dog, that this sweet time will never end and that Toriel will be happy forever.

But shame on me, right? I do know better then to wish, to plead, to beg and to yearn for something. In my world these things won't happen, will never end "good" or "fine". So what can I do if all of my world depends on imagination, dreams and words?

Shall I be Sarah from the labyrinth and say you have no power over me? Too late and even if I could so I can not expend my energy or the will to be so determined or so willful to say them.
Shall I be like Alan Wake and write my own ending to the story as I wish? But that would require a fighting will, an endless determination to see through every hardship as the character does and that is not within my power at all.

So I shall be myself, endless swimming in a sea of nothingness, courted by lights of infathomable beings and whispers about life, drowning in my own sense of worthlessness and pity, watching people doing things that they do and waiting. Waiting for it to end. Or waiting for me to end. Sometimes, my mind whispers hatefully to me, that both is the same.
8/28/2016 c3 Guesty
I LOVE THIS STORY! It is just so interesting and I want to see where you take it!
8/28/2016 c3 UltimateGamer101
Hmm, so far this story is quite touching. Can't wait for more chapters :)
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