for A Game of Thrones: Fury and Flame12/23/2020 c78 Guest
And so ends Book I. What a ride.
After how long Chapter 69 took I kinda assumed the next one will also take a while and didn't check for updates. Now I suddenly see 8 new chapters and the story finished. So this review is for Chapters 70-77.
Chapter 70: The second paragraph was far too long, which made it exhausting. Otherwise a good one. The short length helped you focus on the important bits I feel.
Chapter 71: If asked I would have said 'No' to another dream chapter, but reading it quickly changed my mind. I certainly goes a long way in fleshing out Ursa as a character and gives us a understanding on what motivates her and how she became the person she now is.
Chapter 72: There wasn't much doubt before but this confirms it that Ty Lee is Planetos version of the Avatar. Though why she is a primary target for the Others is the real question. I doubt it is over her possible contribution to the coming conflict and more of what she WILL do in the future. Probably the Great Other is a trans-temporal entity to some degree and similar to the Twins tries to play with time. In that context maybe he wants to end the Avatar cycle now, because the next one or the one after will be a true threat to him?
Chapter 73: Unsurprisingly Azula's incapacitation and possible death doesn't affect her council positively. The downside from creating such a strong personality cult. Though Steffon does a good job of managing things I think. Chang on the other hand seems to take events as a welcome opportunity to challenge Steffon far beyond he would have dared with Azula around. I still can't make heads or nails of the guy and what drives him. Azula appearance at the end. Seems to her coma and the Other's magic left quite the mark on her. It will be interesting to see the long term consequences of this and if her personality was affected or maybe if she is directly influenced by the Great Other. I am drawing a blank at who or what the burning woman with the black crown is.
Chapter 74: Was Chi-Ha's former dead lover Iroh's son? Anyway, while a good chapter, the problem is it fell into the biggest issue of this story. Namely that the chapter felt very much redundant. Nothing there that couldn't have been conveyed over the course of later chapters.
Chapter 75: So, 200 of the Goldcloaks are so terrified of Azula and Chang that instead of taking Cersei's gold they rather quit their job. And Cersei's response is to have them all tortured to death? Both a monumentally stupid move and totally something I can see her doing. While a good chapter, I feel it would have worked better if you put the it and Chapter 76 together. Have the events of this one be told in narration by Tyrion and expand somewhat on the events of Chapter 76.
Chapter 76: To the surprise of no one reading this story things go pear-shaped for the Lannister's. Cersei send brutes where a more diplomatic approach is called for and all the men end up dead. Though to be fair to her I am pretty sure whoever she would have send, no matter how diplomatic, would have wound up dead. Azula's people simply wouldn't tolerate being treated like common smallfolk. Naturally now it is the Fire Nation soldiers that are in control of the capital. The chapter was very good. Even if Tyrion didn't directly witness the firebending the reactions of the soldiers convey the terror quite well. Joffrey seemed far to calm and confident in my opinion. Yeah, there is such a thing as being to stupid to be fearful, but I still feel his reaction stood out oddly.
Chapter 77: We finally meet this AU's version of Daenerys. As was implied many times, her life so far has been nothing short of horrific. And, whether you intended for it or not, really underlines how right canonDaenerys is in wanting to end slavery no matter the cost. The memory of the Stepstone campaign also nicely illustrates how truly terrifying and monstrous Azula is. Ironically I am pretty sure if Ivory had been discovered her life would have been actually improved compared to her situation now. The thing that attacked the ship. did Euron recruit fish people or something? It would certainly fit the Cthulhu-esque elements Martin sprinkled in his expanded worldbuilding for Essos. I assume the Emperor the entity spoke of is the Black Emperor the twins mentioned in Chapter 65. So I take it this Emperor is someone similar to the mother of the twins, a highly powerful mage of the future that tries to shape the past according to his design. And Euron at least is among his pawns in this era, though knowing him he probably has already plans to betray his master. Melisandre is probably an unwitting one as well, or did he convince her he is the Lord of Light? The small black stone Ivory picked up from the bag. A magical observation device? I also will lean out of the window and say that what happened to Xai Bau in Chapter 32, with the black boil in the tree, was a direct interference of the Black Emperor or maybe Euron using knowledge from him. All that aside, I do wonder what has all these parties so interested in Ivory.
Now some more general thoughts on the story as a whole. As I have in previous reviews pointed out this story's greatest problem is that you often give us too close a look at events, often practically day-to-day recounts, and as a result the overall story and plot doesn't really progress. I hope ýou will address that in the sequel. Best by trimming the number of PoV, more timeskips between chapter and less worldbuilding. Or at least minimize the latter to side mentions instead of devoting significant parts of chapters to it.
As for characters and general quality of writing there is nothing I can say, except give you the highest praise and hope for more.
Thanks for your good work. Until next time.
And so ends Book I. What a ride.
After how long Chapter 69 took I kinda assumed the next one will also take a while and didn't check for updates. Now I suddenly see 8 new chapters and the story finished. So this review is for Chapters 70-77.
Chapter 70: The second paragraph was far too long, which made it exhausting. Otherwise a good one. The short length helped you focus on the important bits I feel.
Chapter 71: If asked I would have said 'No' to another dream chapter, but reading it quickly changed my mind. I certainly goes a long way in fleshing out Ursa as a character and gives us a understanding on what motivates her and how she became the person she now is.
Chapter 72: There wasn't much doubt before but this confirms it that Ty Lee is Planetos version of the Avatar. Though why she is a primary target for the Others is the real question. I doubt it is over her possible contribution to the coming conflict and more of what she WILL do in the future. Probably the Great Other is a trans-temporal entity to some degree and similar to the Twins tries to play with time. In that context maybe he wants to end the Avatar cycle now, because the next one or the one after will be a true threat to him?
Chapter 73: Unsurprisingly Azula's incapacitation and possible death doesn't affect her council positively. The downside from creating such a strong personality cult. Though Steffon does a good job of managing things I think. Chang on the other hand seems to take events as a welcome opportunity to challenge Steffon far beyond he would have dared with Azula around. I still can't make heads or nails of the guy and what drives him. Azula appearance at the end. Seems to her coma and the Other's magic left quite the mark on her. It will be interesting to see the long term consequences of this and if her personality was affected or maybe if she is directly influenced by the Great Other. I am drawing a blank at who or what the burning woman with the black crown is.
Chapter 74: Was Chi-Ha's former dead lover Iroh's son? Anyway, while a good chapter, the problem is it fell into the biggest issue of this story. Namely that the chapter felt very much redundant. Nothing there that couldn't have been conveyed over the course of later chapters.
Chapter 75: So, 200 of the Goldcloaks are so terrified of Azula and Chang that instead of taking Cersei's gold they rather quit their job. And Cersei's response is to have them all tortured to death? Both a monumentally stupid move and totally something I can see her doing. While a good chapter, I feel it would have worked better if you put the it and Chapter 76 together. Have the events of this one be told in narration by Tyrion and expand somewhat on the events of Chapter 76.
Chapter 76: To the surprise of no one reading this story things go pear-shaped for the Lannister's. Cersei send brutes where a more diplomatic approach is called for and all the men end up dead. Though to be fair to her I am pretty sure whoever she would have send, no matter how diplomatic, would have wound up dead. Azula's people simply wouldn't tolerate being treated like common smallfolk. Naturally now it is the Fire Nation soldiers that are in control of the capital. The chapter was very good. Even if Tyrion didn't directly witness the firebending the reactions of the soldiers convey the terror quite well. Joffrey seemed far to calm and confident in my opinion. Yeah, there is such a thing as being to stupid to be fearful, but I still feel his reaction stood out oddly.
Chapter 77: We finally meet this AU's version of Daenerys. As was implied many times, her life so far has been nothing short of horrific. And, whether you intended for it or not, really underlines how right canonDaenerys is in wanting to end slavery no matter the cost. The memory of the Stepstone campaign also nicely illustrates how truly terrifying and monstrous Azula is. Ironically I am pretty sure if Ivory had been discovered her life would have been actually improved compared to her situation now. The thing that attacked the ship. did Euron recruit fish people or something? It would certainly fit the Cthulhu-esque elements Martin sprinkled in his expanded worldbuilding for Essos. I assume the Emperor the entity spoke of is the Black Emperor the twins mentioned in Chapter 65. So I take it this Emperor is someone similar to the mother of the twins, a highly powerful mage of the future that tries to shape the past according to his design. And Euron at least is among his pawns in this era, though knowing him he probably has already plans to betray his master. Melisandre is probably an unwitting one as well, or did he convince her he is the Lord of Light? The small black stone Ivory picked up from the bag. A magical observation device? I also will lean out of the window and say that what happened to Xai Bau in Chapter 32, with the black boil in the tree, was a direct interference of the Black Emperor or maybe Euron using knowledge from him. All that aside, I do wonder what has all these parties so interested in Ivory.
Now some more general thoughts on the story as a whole. As I have in previous reviews pointed out this story's greatest problem is that you often give us too close a look at events, often practically day-to-day recounts, and as a result the overall story and plot doesn't really progress. I hope ýou will address that in the sequel. Best by trimming the number of PoV, more timeskips between chapter and less worldbuilding. Or at least minimize the latter to side mentions instead of devoting significant parts of chapters to it.
As for characters and general quality of writing there is nothing I can say, except give you the highest praise and hope for more.
Thanks for your good work. Until next time.
12/9/2020 c77 Evil and Proud
Poor Dany, to suffer so much.
Wait Epilogue? Does this mean it's "book one" or what?
Poor Dany, to suffer so much.
Wait Epilogue? Does this mean it's "book one" or what?
12/9/2020 c77 Guest
What do you mean with epiloge?
Will this story end, or is this just one 'book'?
What do you mean with epiloge?
Will this story end, or is this just one 'book'?
11/25/2020 c60 
5moonl337
chapter 59 ending was totally Azula ha ha ha
I love this story though I sometimes wish the pace would pick up a bit
you do a good job making us guess everyone's motivation
5moonl337chapter 59 ending was totally Azula ha ha ha
I love this story though I sometimes wish the pace would pick up a bit
you do a good job making us guess everyone's motivation
11/22/2020 c17 Hagebuttentee
Interesting, but how could Azula made responsible for whatever the father of Sam did to him?
Interesting, but how could Azula made responsible for whatever the father of Sam did to him?
11/20/2020 c76 Guest
The plot thickens
The plot thickens
11/20/2020 c76 30Engineer4Ever
Ah, here we go. Cersei, you daft little girl, you cant compete with ppl actually competent. Haha!
30Engineer4EverAh, here we go. Cersei, you daft little girl, you cant compete with ppl actually competent. Haha!
11/20/2020 c76 Evil and Proud
Nice. So Steffon is trying to save the Lannister kids? Waste for Joffrey though.
Nice. So Steffon is trying to save the Lannister kids? Waste for Joffrey though.
11/19/2020 c76 21Order of Alignment
LONG LIVE FIRE LORD AZULA! LONG MAY THE LIGHT OF. CIVILIZATION BURN!
Ah, long have I wait for this moment. but, something seems afoot. The Prince has his own faction in the Fire Nation?
Regardless, splendid work.
21Order of AlignmentLONG LIVE FIRE LORD AZULA! LONG MAY THE LIGHT OF. CIVILIZATION BURN!
Ah, long have I wait for this moment. but, something seems afoot. The Prince has his own faction in the Fire Nation?
Regardless, splendid work.
11/19/2020 c76 Helios7406
Steffon is planning to betray his mother and risk letting those backstabbing monsters live? Marcella and Tommen I can understand after declaring them the product of incest and having them sent to the maesters and silent sisters, but the other ones are too stupid and traitorous to live.
Steffon is planning to betray his mother and risk letting those backstabbing monsters live? Marcella and Tommen I can understand after declaring them the product of incest and having them sent to the maesters and silent sisters, but the other ones are too stupid and traitorous to live.