for Beyond the Veil1/3/2017 c1 
102Winter Leigh End
I can't decide if I like the repetition you have going on in this flash fiction. It certainly adds an interesting rhythmic quality to it. Though, it's almost a little overdone since it happens in nearly every line and this is so short.
This was an interesting moment to focus in on, I thought. I enjoyed how you have Remus see Sirius's death as just another in a long line of people lost to him. His thoughts on the whispers he hears and how he feels he's a coward, even though everyone he knows would disagree, because he won't go near was an interesting way to end this fic.
102Winter Leigh EndI can't decide if I like the repetition you have going on in this flash fiction. It certainly adds an interesting rhythmic quality to it. Though, it's almost a little overdone since it happens in nearly every line and this is so short.
This was an interesting moment to focus in on, I thought. I enjoyed how you have Remus see Sirius's death as just another in a long line of people lost to him. His thoughts on the whispers he hears and how he feels he's a coward, even though everyone he knows would disagree, because he won't go near was an interesting way to end this fic.