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for An Unexpected Reunion

10/23 c45 10TheSoundDefense
Alright, I've read through the whole thing and I have some notes. In general, this is well written and fairly clever in a number of places, so I'll be going into the deeper criticisms.

The big positive: you're doing a great job taking advantage of this story being an AU. Familiar elements are being shuffled around and remixed, making them feel fresh. Characters are interacting that wouldn't otherwise interact and they're exploring new territory. I'm especially intrigued by Brock and Korrina, so long as that goes somewhere and doesn't enter an eternal holding pattern.

The big negative: we're on chapter 45 and Ash and Serena are in the exact same place as they were in chapter 5. They're not getting any physically closer, and they're not emotionally opening up to one another any more than they did in Johto. Even as every other character in the story teases them about it, they stubbornly refuse to engage in any growth. Their hesitancy was cute in the first few chapters, but now it's just frustrating. They don't need to take any particularly big steps (especially if the big steps are scheduled for later), but some smaller steps here and there would be appreciated. They need to be allowed to grow closer to each other.

Some other notes:
- You sometimes repeat certain words or phrases in a rather short span, and it tends to stick out. "What?!" is the most common instance of this, but there are others. Try to identify these areas and sprinkle in some alternate word choices. (I do this also. Whenever I finish writing a chapter I have to CtrlF the word "quickly" and see how many times I wrote it.)
- It feels like every time a character is having some internal conflict or emotional turmoil, it's resolved too easily. Someone else will give a short two-paragraph speech, there will be a brief pause, then the conflicted character will smile and say thanks. This also feels like characters not given opportunities to grow, frankly. They're not able to work through their own conflicts in a more rich and organic way.

Overall, this story is in a good place, and is going more good places, but there are some flaws holding it back. I'm curious to see what you can do with it. Best of luck in future chapters.
10/16 c45 Guest
well this turned out great plus its been a very long time since you've posted a chapter, keep it up man ;) as a fellow amourshipper i have this to say to you and to all my fellow amourshippers around the globe who support amourshipping, amourshipper and proud, remember that dudes and dudettes and keep up the good serenaandashshipping work dude.
10/15 c45 6Riku Uzumaki
This appears to be a training montage.
10/15 c45 16Ander Arias
It was nice seeing Brock helping Korrina like that. Though Brock better stop flirting with every woman he meets if he doesn't want Korrina to dump him.
10/14 c45 3RHatch89
Awesome update as always :)
10/14 c45 Reader
Surprised Korrina didn't fangirl over the Galar fighting type
Unless doesn't recognize it
Will they be significant later? Maybe in the Kalos Fighting Type Tournament
10/14 c45 Tony Anderson
Good work.
10/14 c45 3Tenzalucard123
Hehehehehehehe i smell the love in the wind!
10/14 c45 Amourshipper35
I liked seeing Brock help Korrina learn how to cook and I liked their talk and how her Pokémon is trying to get them together
8/25 c40 arata7kasuga
Hmm that other pairing is good but it has nothing on Serena tbh. The only other pairing that comes close is AshxLillie.
8/25 c37 arata7kasuga
Yeesh chill out Korrina. Yikes.
8/25 c33 arata7kasuga
I love Serena with long hair tho :3 Also, too bad she didn't do well. She is too adorable to not go far .-.
8/25 c26 arata7kasuga
So when are Ash and Serena actually getting together, its already 26 chapters in xD
8/25 c24 arata7kasuga
Lillie and Serena being Rivals? o.o They have such potential to get along tho :c
8/25 c18 arata7kasuga
I love Serna being a performer, it fits her well. Kinda miffed that Brock will most likely be joining. Why can't Serena and Ash just be alone on a journey?
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