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for Thrice Born, Brother to Steel

12/19/2016 c3 Lazymanjones96
Good stuff
12/19/2016 c4 Bunny153539
Foreshadowing for Fluffy the Terible? And thank you for keeping the Saving people thing, it amazes me with all these OC's that people claim are canon characters :D
12/19/2016 c4 MasterOfDragonsGod
12/19/2016 c4 10ultima-owner
interesting effect his magic has on music
12/19/2016 c1 5exillion
Grammar is your friend. Use it.
12/19/2016 c4 Kono Dio Brando Da
thanks for the update!
12/19/2016 c4 lusians
great chapter keep it up
12/19/2016 c4 LordXeenTheGreat
Great chapter!
12/19/2016 c4 1DOC-IBulit
And here i hoped that it's Harry\Medea... Please write it so...somehow...please...don't wanna Potterverse pairing
Why is Sakura so devoted towards Harry? Shouldn't she be acting that way towards Shirou?
How the hell Hogwarts letter will reach Japan? Wich is on another side of the world? Owls will die or arrive too late most likely. Second of all why would you have Harry go to Hogwarts? He is magus is he not? He should be unable to do Hogwarts magic. And why would he need to go to hogwarts if he has Medea to teach him?
If you do send him to Hogwarts, please don't make him friends with Hermione and Weasley, the only reason that happened in canon was because Harry was starved for affection wich is clearly not the case here. How will Harry study in Hogwarts considering his only language is Japanese?
12/3/2016 c3 Thunder Dragon
I have to ask, how old is Harry? because at the age of eleven he was allowed to come to Hogwarts to develop his wizardry and learn how to use his powers. On the topic of age how old is Shirou? because when the Fifth Holy Grail War was going down Shirou was 17 and when Kiritsugu died Shirou was twelve. So Shirou was five when he was adopted. I am a little worried that you may have gotten the timeline wrong or have found away to balance both in a logical way and we may not get the full experience with this crossover that these two series provide if littered with inconsistencies.

Now on to the actual review. Aside from my question of the characters ages you have a good premise and it is nice to see the two worlds merged and you have. However you have gotten Kiritsugu's character wrong. He did not want his kids to get involved with the Moonlit World and have a normal life so he deliberately gave Shirou wrong instructions on Magecraft to try and deter him making him that underdog at the start of the series. So I have to ask, why is it different here? I am all for changes but you never really explained in chapter 2 so I am confused. If I were you I would make some editing and a little rewrite in the previous chapter to clear that up. Other than that keep going it shows a lot of promise!

Can I make a request? I would love it if Harry learned how to use Wizardry and Magecraft in harmony while developing his own style. In fact I have some ideas that you can use.

Harry's Magic's: I would love it if Harry learned how to use the Runes on the same level of The Hound of Ulster as a Caster class Servant. Now in both the Type Moon and Harry Potter worlds their are Runes and with Harry personally as Runes have played a massive role in his life so it could be possible if properly implemented. Also it would be awesome that when Harry is training his butt off and finding possible spell combinations with his Wizardry, Formal Craft and Rune Craft. Now you may not know this(and if you do I apologize, I do not want to seem condescending)but Magecraft revolves around manipulating concepts and ones potency and development is determined at birth as a student of Magecraft style and powers are determined by the elements they can use and their earliest memories AKA their Origin. So for Harry's Origin it should be Sacrifice as it would fit cannon Harry and his parents sacrifice to save him and what Harry is willing to do to save Wizarding Britan. Also on the topic, for his Wizardry Harry should eventually obtain all his cannon powers and arsenal. Now for his Magecraft Teacher why not make it Medea as she is going to be Harry's Servant so them helping one another is not out of the picture.
11/30/2016 c3 desdelor97
This was a great chapter.
Please keep up the great work.
11/27/2016 c3 Shadow of a Memory
Ooh, so the Witch of Betrayal joins the party, does she? Alright, I'm interested.
11/27/2016 c1 Shadow of a Memory
The entire thing looks and feels like a rough draft. It's decent, but the amount of grammatical errors seriously takes away from the story. I'm trying to enjoy it but the amount of errors is making that very difficult.
11/23/2016 c3 Guest
make him a slytherin not pricj gifindorr
11/23/2016 c3 Kono Dio Brando Da
Thanks for the update!

the part of harry pointing shirou and calling him a devil worshiper made my day
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