for Dance of the Muggles11/6/2018 c1 
11The-Red-Lip
THIS ENTIRE THING WAS FABULOUS. I LOVED IT!
GREAT JOB. Keep up the good work!
~Red
11The-Red-LipTHIS ENTIRE THING WAS FABULOUS. I LOVED IT!
GREAT JOB. Keep up the good work!
~Red
11/4/2016 c1 Radio Free Death
["What do you think you are doing?" James Sirius Potter, 7th year student at Hogwarts, asked the 5th year student Poppy Jones; both belonged to House Gryffindor.]
I guarantee you do not need to pack all of this information into one sentence. If it's in any way important, it'd be integrated into the story.
Your writing is very simplistic, and has too many errors to make it easily readable. Try to avoid long stretches that are nothing but dialogue, and get a beta reader to help you.
["What do you think you are doing?" James Sirius Potter, 7th year student at Hogwarts, asked the 5th year student Poppy Jones; both belonged to House Gryffindor.]
I guarantee you do not need to pack all of this information into one sentence. If it's in any way important, it'd be integrated into the story.
Your writing is very simplistic, and has too many errors to make it easily readable. Try to avoid long stretches that are nothing but dialogue, and get a beta reader to help you.