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11/16/2016 c1 4JayTheBird
Very good story indeed. You are obviously very atuned to emotions, because the way you describe them, without really describing them but showing them through the actions and thoughts of the characters, gives the story an extra layer which, in my opinion, can also be seen in the show. Try to keep that skill up, it's a very effective way of bringing emotion into a story. Especially with males as your main characters.

What I also liked is how the scenery had an active role in this one, other than just being the place where the characters are. How you especially showed Castiel's scars and dysfunctionality through the abandonned church and the literal broken angels depicted there, was simply wonderful, very well done.

Sam and Castiel are very much in character. Sam's uncertainty about himself, but his dedication to what he believes in and his trust in his friends, makes it very likely to search Cas out 'just to be sure, even though it hurts like hell'. Cas's hesitance is also what I would have expected from him. Sometimes he can be somewhat ruthless when it comes to the things that really must be done, but he doesn't want to hurt his friends, or anyone for that matter, when he doesn't have to. And when he does, he is almost always gentle. And I'm so glad someone finally mentioned Castiel's monotonous voice, even when he tries to say something heartfelt. These kind of details also take some of the heaviness out of the story, giving us some comical relief every once in a while. Same goes for the casual banter before and after and some of Sam's wandering thoughts. I like that.

However, I'm not that much of a fan of the line you added in between brackets at the end: (if, you know, a human was capable of breaking an angel's bones). It actually pulled me out of the story and the emotions and feelings that were going on at that time. And because of that, I felt the story ended a couple of lines before it really did. Try to find more balance in that aspect of 'feels' and comical relief. Sometimes some humor is welcome, other times it's a nuisance and uncalled for.
An example in which it fitted seamlessly: 'Those last words hang in the air for a while, punctuated by the falls of Sam's giant feet.' the mention of 'giant' feet just made me smile, and pulled me out of that dark melancholic feeling for a moment.

Just to be sure, the criticism I gave you is not to make you feel bad about yourself. If you don't agree with what I told you, that's completely fine too. I am just another writer like you, and this is what I noticed. I'm trying to help you become better, not to hurt your feelings or to steer you into a direction you don't want to go.

For now I want to say, your writing is very good. Polish it up further. Try out new styles, but definitely keep this as your base, always. You are good with it, I can see. I can't wait to read more.

See ya!
Jay
11/8/2016 c1 22O'MalleytheAlleyCat
That was lovely. I love your writing. You should make original work.
11/7/2016 c1 4bookwriter123456
That was very beautiful. I was there was more Cas and Sam friendship stories out there. Great job!
11/7/2016 c1 28celinenaville
Wow. This was beautiful. Thank you for writing it. The setting and the description, your dialogue between the characters.

You treat Sam with empathy and understanding, which so many writers DON'T seem to. And Cas and Dean's interactions are always so interesting on the show.

Sam blames himself for everything. It's just like him to wonder if his soul is corrupted. So Sam.
11/7/2016 c1 2sylvia37
I love this. Someone should tell Sam what a beautiful soul he has and you're right in that he would believe Castiel because he is such a terrible liar. I especially love Castiel's inner monologue about Sam, Haha.

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