7/14/2017 c1 1Tosiaki
Hmm, having read your other two stories, I get a sense that you have great ideas, but filling in the details is something that perhaps requires a bit more work before it can fully be something that can be greatly interesting to a lot of people. I think with some more "work," your stories can become truly great, though since you don't seem to get that much feedback so far, I'm not sure if you'll get enough advice from other people to grow into a more mature writer. So, I have a lot to say about this story, but I'm not sure if I want to write an entire essay about every little detail and how I felt about them, so instead I'd like to ask if you are interested in writing things that are really interesting, and though I haven't exactly written anything myself just yet, I get the feeling that I'd be able to give out pointers that would probably be very beneficial to your abilities in writing and thinking up stories. So please let me know if you're interested in what I have to say and what I think you could do to make your stories more interesting.