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for Coby's Choice: Paradise

8/1/2020 c4 7Animephilosopher1
Important: updates continuation. With Chapter 4 featuring the whole crew inside Nojiko’s house there’s a massive hole with them disappearing when Coby got shot and reappearing at the doctor’s office.

I understand, updates come one at a time and not everything can be delivered on-command. Though in this case it’s a plot-hole for fresh readers.

Suggestionperhaps have the Straw Hats explode out from the house and tear Nezumi to pieces, giving them a reason to fight Arlong and showing how he won’t honour Nami’s deal. So to set her free Genzo leads the villages to fight Arlong knowing they could die.

Or, you could squeeze in something to chapter 4the crew go looking for Luffy before he might start a fight and somebody stays behind with Coby (Ussop since he’a suppose to be dead). A gap follows and then Nezumi arrives.
8/1/2020 c3 Animephilosopher1
Well done! The updated chapter here flows well and has some enjoyably surprising changes, especially with Sanji and Luffy, Coby’s training and fighting skills and the fight with the Krieg pirates.

I think Luffy showed a little too much Mental-maturity than your previous variation, where it didn’t start to develop until he and Nami got together post-Arlong Arc.

Also, one recommendation: between this updated-chapter and chapter 5 there are contradictions now that are confusing to new readers. I’ve added them in a fresh chapter 5 review.
8/1/2020 c3 1PokeKing Charizard
Coby says he's a "reliabilitypretty sure you meant "liability".
7/27/2020 c1 1Balather
Realmente me encanto, los pequeños cambios que hiciste me entretuvieron mucho y me dolió llegar al final, me encantaría que continuaras con la historia.
7/26/2020 c144 6era-romance
hate that u killed ace. why does everyone want him dead? it's so sad. and again, the fate of poor coby
and is nami preggers? maybe it will be ace or roger reincarnated
7/25/2020 c82 era-romance
the way you ended this omake! lol the irony is delicious. perfect way to set up for the moria arc
7/25/2020 c143 CelestialSky
AH ACE YOU NAMED HIM ACE! I’m in tears, oh my goodness. Can’t wait to see Luffy’s reaction. Ah thank you for writing such an enjoyable story!
7/25/2020 c76 era-romance
awww merry is so cute... the rest of the straw hats? hahahahahahahaha
7/25/2020 c74 era-romance
u made devil fruit powers make sense...kinda...in a round-a-bout way...congrats!
7/25/2020 c56 era-romance
the omake...oh my g! the omake! lmfao! poor coby lol
7/24/2020 c54 Devildogg20
I mean yes... but considering how much he trained it.. still logic is sound
7/23/2020 c1 AzraelK
Let haters hate, just don't stop writing.

We're waiting for the next update.
7/18/2020 c1 Someone
Please update soon, ignore the other 'Guest' comment
He/she is the real dumb here
7/18/2020 c130 Guest
Amy in cakeisland is the dumbest thing you could’ve done lol she’s going to lose her lifespan and be a prisoner / slave lol what a dumb author
7/18/2020 c102 Guest
Gin now his a split personality... really? Lol now this is a drop because this story has become complete TRASH TRASH TRASH. Stop writing fanfics
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