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12/8/2016 c1 BlessingEnvY
please keep this story going...
11/16/2016 c1 rob
keep going i would to see where you take this story
11/16/2016 c1 Guest
seems promising ... but ... i honestly forgot what i was going to say. anyways it's a good start make long chapters if you do make it a full story and all that jazz :)
11/17/2016 c1 3Pyrofoxxxx
The idea is good. I actually like this.
11/16/2016 c1 4moops
its ok. need more to make a real determination.
11/15/2016 c1 freechimchangas
The concept is not bad, however you need a grammar nazi for a beta. Don't get me wrong this is a great fresh idea you have. Though it is hampered by the rushed flow of the plot and a few punctuation errors here and there. Take your time and flesh out the story progression a bit better and this story can be great. Keep up the good work and I hope to see more.

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