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12/22/2017 c2 Cadelorbe12
Dope rework, my dude.
12/21/2017 c2 The Rupture
Keep it up.
11/13/2017 c12 JosephAllan32
I think out of all of them,
Rider(Astolfo) Should go to either Momo or stay wiht Rito.
Saber(Artoria Pendragon (Lily)) Should maybe go to Lala
Bezerker(Kiyohime) Should go to either Haruna or Momo (Assuming you don't give Rider to her.)
Assassin (Either Sasaki Kojirou or Jack the Ripper) Should either go to Yami, Mea, Rin, of even Celine

If you already have the Heroic spirits for each picked out, my choices for who they go to doesn't change, but disregard the part with the Heroic spirits.
11/7/2017 c12 298kazer
for Rito, How about Saber class Sengo Muramasa? or as I like to call him Muramas-Emiya?
it's a great combo
one wields a world of unlimited blades
while the other wields a blade containing all the knowledge he has of blades
this was heavily inspired by the new Emiya theme of Limited0Over
7/3/2017 c1 46Hikari Nova
...Question: Why are you writing this out like a script?
6/26/2017 c11 Sonicdude8
Huh, I stand corrected. It seems like you're spicing things up by having this suitor be a rather high ranking enemy instead of the lower tiered ones we see at this point in the show. If he can stand up to her Proto-Arthur install and give her a challenge then that says a lot about how strong that opponent really is. Hopefully Lala doesn't try to screw with the cards. Connecting to the Throne of Heroes isn't something simple, and who knows what kind of bad shit would happen should someone mess with them unknowingly.
5/7/2017 c10 Sonicdude8
So it seems like Ayaka has Proto Arthur as her Saber. she is also unaware of the situation Rito is in. I wonder if she will confront him next chapter, after she curbstomps this random mob.
3/23/2017 c9 Sonicdude8
Well you certainly have Rito having a bit more backbone here than in the original series which is good considering who he deals with in his head. And then we have that luck stat coming in again too.
3/5/2017 c7 Sonicdude8
I think that his personality is definitely fine the way it is. Rito isn't known to have a very strong personality in the cannon (except when someone he cares about is in danger) so I think the way you've had him acting so far fits. Also, since he interacts with his Servant cards and likely has some kind of dream cycle through their link that it makes sense that he would have little trouble killing him. I'm sure many of the memories they had numbed him enough to do it. He may feel somewhat disgusted with himself afterwards (if this is the first time taking a life) but since he was in combat mode at the time it didn't even slip into his mind at the time. I have a feeling that Gid will feel very impressed with that cold response to the suitor.
3/5/2017 c7 treyalexander63917
I would like to see Rito act like this only when someone attacks and injures his friends. Maybe make him act in a calm and quiet rage when they hurt his love interests(Lala, Haruna, Yami, Run, etc..)
2/22/2017 c1 Shirosaki Kizuro
Can't believe that a brat like that could speak so fluently, guess anything goes right in 2D
2/12/2017 c6 Sonicdude8
I think that would be a much cooler title than what you currently have as a title, so go for it!
1/16/2017 c5 Sonicdude8
Good chapter and thank you! I'm happy to hear that I gave you some inspiration for the story. If you really are set on giving Haruna a yandere type character then I would suggest Assassin Serenity. If you are unsure of her personality I would suggest looking up the Fate Grand Order Halloween 2016 event chapter 6 summery. She certainly fits Haruna's personality better than Kiyohime. Just make sure to take into account her Poison Body ability should you use her. Should you decide to make your own non-Fate Servants, I look forward to seeing who they are.
12/20/2016 c4 Sonicdude8
So Haruna is sypathizing with a Berserker. Unless it is Fran, things are going to get real complicated for Rito. Fran, in life had an obsession with wanting to be accepted/loved which she directed to her creator; so if Haruna had her, well, at least she wouldn't be full on yandere. If you are going the yandere route then I think Run (and maybe Ren) would work better than Haruna since they are actually assertive. I can think of two things currently with a slight possibility. Yami with Jack since besides Tearju, Yami also has not experienced the warmth of personal relations. The biggest problem with that is that Yami isn't as distorted as Jack. The other one would be Shuten Doji with one of the more sexually assertive characters (maybe Momo, or Mea). As for thinking of characters not of the Fate series for Servant classes, sorry to say but I am not that creative.
I still think it would have been kind of funny if Kiyohime was smitten with Rito as her card owner. In that case I could see her coming forth with a non-physical body that can only interact with Rito attempting to assault someone whe is trying to put the moves on Rito only to fail since she can't actually touch them. And if either Rito or other card holders are the only ones who could see then they sweatdrop while the rest of the group is left in the dark. Either way, I can't wait to see what's next!
12/20/2016 c4 2MechaDragon99
I'm was going to say "I'm telling you is going to kill you"
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