for Semper Vigilo3h c31 Yavanna80
So Petrovsky won't be Cerberus but an Iffy. Pity. Good strategist. Kinda likable if he wasn't a baddie in the game.
So Petrovsky won't be Cerberus but an Iffy. Pity. Good strategist. Kinda likable if he wasn't a baddie in the game.
3/18 c30 Yavanna80
Oh wow, Batarian became so effing greedy indeed. And I'm sure the Yagh Shadow Broker is definitely helping them achieve that bloody despicable slaver raids INDEED.
Ooooo, Redford and Tela are bondmates! They both deserve happiness! Good to know Kaidan os already a promising recruit. Hope Jack can become a teacher at Grissom Academy too in the future as well and Jump Zero is not as hellish as Kaidan describes in ME1
Oh wow, Batarian became so effing greedy indeed. And I'm sure the Yagh Shadow Broker is definitely helping them achieve that bloody despicable slaver raids INDEED.
Ooooo, Redford and Tela are bondmates! They both deserve happiness! Good to know Kaidan os already a promising recruit. Hope Jack can become a teacher at Grissom Academy too in the future as well and Jump Zero is not as hellish as Kaidan describes in ME1
3/17 c29 Yavanna80
Drunk David Anderson would be a sight. Cozek/Idril is such a compelling side character that I love, sending hints at Saren so he and David can bond and become even better friends over time. I tell you, thee two need a buddy cop series :Anderson and Arterius, Spectre Partners.
Drunk David Anderson would be a sight. Cozek/Idril is such a compelling side character that I love, sending hints at Saren so he and David can bond and become even better friends over time. I tell you, thee two need a buddy cop series :Anderson and Arterius, Spectre Partners.
3/15 c28 Yavanna80
I really need a cop buddy tv show with Saren and Anderson because this was hilarious Hahahahaha
Agree on the people that say the eeriness of the reaper /indoctrination dialog as this was something I deeply enjoyed in ME1, the unknown, the foreboding... Pity it was killed in 2 and watered down in 3 although Leviathan always gets me O.o
I really need a cop buddy tv show with Saren and Anderson because this was hilarious Hahahahaha
Agree on the people that say the eeriness of the reaper /indoctrination dialog as this was something I deeply enjoyed in ME1, the unknown, the foreboding... Pity it was killed in 2 and watered down in 3 although Leviathan always gets me O.o
3/11 c125 DerDieDasDude
I just read through this story in the last couple of weeks and I really like your take on the ME universe. I enjoy that humanity had some time to build up it's interplanetary civiization but that there is a clear gap between it and the established council races and that there is a lot more preparation going on to tackle the Reapers. I also like that the role that Shepard plays in the games gets split up to several characters, as I always found it somewhat immersion breaking that Shepard is the only person that seems to be doing anything of relevance in the whole universe in the games. However I do have some criticisms as well.
I think you nerfed Shepard way, wayy too much. Sure, I think it's great that she isn't the only relevant character in the universe, but in your story she is basically nothing more than a ragdoll. She has zero leadership skills, only ever gets knocked out and defeated in any fight she's in, she doesn't build up any unit cohesion, doesn't even partake in some of the loyalty missions, never sees anything coming or prepares for any eventualities and constantly gets walked over. You sometimes reference characters saying that she has good charisma, but that isn't visible anywhere in your story. Now that you also started killing characters in the suicide mission for seemingly the sheer sake of it, she doesn't seem to have any redeeming charecteristics whatsover. Make of that what you will, but in my opinion Shepard needs to get her badassery dialed-up by a factor of at least ten so that it's less pitiful to read any of her parts.
The second criticism I have is environmental, although this is much less relevant to the actual storytelling.
While I agree that the population numbers in ME are usually way too low, I think you went to the opposite extreme. I can see the Asari or Turian numbers after millenia of space expansion, but hundreds of billions of Lystheni, that live nomadically and are essentially absent from the galaxy at large? That's way too much imo.
Similar story with humanity. You describe Earth as a completely overcrowded, environmentally degraded hellhole, which I think given the current demographic development, as well as the plentiful availability of energy and resources from space coupled with the technological advances over hundreds of years is unreasonable. 300 years with infinite energe, resources and hardly any population growth is more than enough time to fix the environmental demage of the 21st century and even with 15 billion people, there's no need for people to live in slums or in archeaologies imo.
I hope that wasn't too negative though, I truly enjoy this story! Maybe the criticism can be a new perspective to you but of course it's ultimately your story.
I just read through this story in the last couple of weeks and I really like your take on the ME universe. I enjoy that humanity had some time to build up it's interplanetary civiization but that there is a clear gap between it and the established council races and that there is a lot more preparation going on to tackle the Reapers. I also like that the role that Shepard plays in the games gets split up to several characters, as I always found it somewhat immersion breaking that Shepard is the only person that seems to be doing anything of relevance in the whole universe in the games. However I do have some criticisms as well.
I think you nerfed Shepard way, wayy too much. Sure, I think it's great that she isn't the only relevant character in the universe, but in your story she is basically nothing more than a ragdoll. She has zero leadership skills, only ever gets knocked out and defeated in any fight she's in, she doesn't build up any unit cohesion, doesn't even partake in some of the loyalty missions, never sees anything coming or prepares for any eventualities and constantly gets walked over. You sometimes reference characters saying that she has good charisma, but that isn't visible anywhere in your story. Now that you also started killing characters in the suicide mission for seemingly the sheer sake of it, she doesn't seem to have any redeeming charecteristics whatsover. Make of that what you will, but in my opinion Shepard needs to get her badassery dialed-up by a factor of at least ten so that it's less pitiful to read any of her parts.
The second criticism I have is environmental, although this is much less relevant to the actual storytelling.
While I agree that the population numbers in ME are usually way too low, I think you went to the opposite extreme. I can see the Asari or Turian numbers after millenia of space expansion, but hundreds of billions of Lystheni, that live nomadically and are essentially absent from the galaxy at large? That's way too much imo.
Similar story with humanity. You describe Earth as a completely overcrowded, environmentally degraded hellhole, which I think given the current demographic development, as well as the plentiful availability of energy and resources from space coupled with the technological advances over hundreds of years is unreasonable. 300 years with infinite energe, resources and hardly any population growth is more than enough time to fix the environmental demage of the 21st century and even with 15 billion people, there's no need for people to live in slums or in archeaologies imo.
I hope that wasn't too negative though, I truly enjoy this story! Maybe the criticism can be a new perspective to you but of course it's ultimately your story.
3/5 c125 
7S058
Goddamn, been reading this for the past few days, including a long surge last night when I kept losing track of time...
This is probably one of, if not the best, ME fanfics I've seen.
Actually unique AUs, butterflies abound, kickass action, willingness to kill off characters we love...
I just can't describe it.
7S058Goddamn, been reading this for the past few days, including a long surge last night when I kept losing track of time...
This is probably one of, if not the best, ME fanfics I've seen.
Actually unique AUs, butterflies abound, kickass action, willingness to kill off characters we love...
I just can't describe it.
2/23 c125 Chronus1326
Just got caught up again and the story is still really good, I like the subtle changes you're making.
Just got caught up again and the story is still really good, I like the subtle changes you're making.
2/6 c125 KnightOfHolyLight
Great job again. Here's to Thane may your next life be easier and more peaceful. At least he went out in battle.
Nice touch here with both human's and turian's wanting omega. Honestly very realistic event there. Cant believe haven't thought that before since ELement Zero is valuable. Most people just destroy the place or use is as strategic base. Harper's analysis on Asari as a whole also rather spot on. We know after all how fast Thessia did fall in canon.
I keep hoping that Shepard and others can save Vestige. Unlike as that is. His and Javik's meeting would be fun. And first hand info he has from inside reaper base is beyond valuable.
And now next is larval reaper. Really be interesting to see how you handle this.
Overall great job again and I hope that you update soon.
Great job again. Here's to Thane may your next life be easier and more peaceful. At least he went out in battle.
Nice touch here with both human's and turian's wanting omega. Honestly very realistic event there. Cant believe haven't thought that before since ELement Zero is valuable. Most people just destroy the place or use is as strategic base. Harper's analysis on Asari as a whole also rather spot on. We know after all how fast Thessia did fall in canon.
I keep hoping that Shepard and others can save Vestige. Unlike as that is. His and Javik's meeting would be fun. And first hand info he has from inside reaper base is beyond valuable.
And now next is larval reaper. Really be interesting to see how you handle this.
Overall great job again and I hope that you update soon.
2/3 c11 Terastrasza
This story so far is entirely military ventures and political maneuvering, with minimal plot or development with any characters. If your a military buff or like stories with lots of government espionage you'll like this. It's possible that I've only been reading world building so far, and if it is, it has lasted too long for me. The rest of the story could have more of what I like later on, but I cant force myself to read this any further to reach that point.
This story so far is entirely military ventures and political maneuvering, with minimal plot or development with any characters. If your a military buff or like stories with lots of government espionage you'll like this. It's possible that I've only been reading world building so far, and if it is, it has lasted too long for me. The rest of the story could have more of what I like later on, but I cant force myself to read this any further to reach that point.
2/3 c125 6admiralsakai.wikitroid
Welp.
Interestingly, I never actually thought of Omega as a particularly rich source of Element Zero. I figured that the galactic supply of the stuff came from numerous, individually small and insignificant mines, and that Omega was simply one of them.
However, this is actually not the overall trend that has been developing in IRL mining, where a lot of materials come from fewer, larger mines due to growing economies of scale.
Also, dang, we're really going through specialists at a pretty good clip here!
6admiralsakai.wikitroidWelp.
Interestingly, I never actually thought of Omega as a particularly rich source of Element Zero. I figured that the galactic supply of the stuff came from numerous, individually small and insignificant mines, and that Omega was simply one of them.
However, this is actually not the overall trend that has been developing in IRL mining, where a lot of materials come from fewer, larger mines due to growing economies of scale.
Also, dang, we're really going through specialists at a pretty good clip here!
1/31 c24 Yavanna80
Let me tell you I was enthralled by the meetings between Desolas, Tao and Harper! Oh my goodness! Let's hope Harper doesn't go loco and get indoctrinated as in 3.
Let me tell you I was enthralled by the meetings between Desolas, Tao and Harper! Oh my goodness! Let's hope Harper doesn't go loco and get indoctrinated as in 3.
1/26 c23 Yavanna80
Regarding your A/N, loved the behind the scenes, the Treaty of Farixen amendment and I don't care about the Batarian diplomat. They've done nothing other than enslaving people and playing offended at everything. Go rot in hell!
Saren is starting to grow on me. He's becoming such a decent Turian and I'd love to see how he'll fit in the scheme of things. And how he meets Nihlus and everything.
I need to read Codex but I love the Turian parts
Well done!
Regarding your A/N, loved the behind the scenes, the Treaty of Farixen amendment and I don't care about the Batarian diplomat. They've done nothing other than enslaving people and playing offended at everything. Go rot in hell!
Saren is starting to grow on me. He's becoming such a decent Turian and I'd love to see how he'll fit in the scheme of things. And how he meets Nihlus and everything.
I need to read Codex but I love the Turian parts
Well done!
1/26 c22 Yavanna80
At last, the Butcher of Elysium died! Pity the Director had to die though but her sacrifice won't be forgotten. May she rest in peace. Well with Tao... Let's see. At least, he worked with Desolas and knows about Blackwatch and how they work together...
At last, the Butcher of Elysium died! Pity the Director had to die though but her sacrifice won't be forgotten. May she rest in peace. Well with Tao... Let's see. At least, he worked with Desolas and knows about Blackwatch and how they work together...
1/22 c124 KnightOfHolyLight
Great job again. I really did not see Jack falling coming. I honestly suspected that she would be among last to fall. But like you say suddenly too people will die. Really unfortunate since I really liked Jack in this story specially. Here's to her memory.
Nice touch with the talk there with Jack and the admiral. Realistic way of thinking there and both bringing out bad sides of carrying out that order or not.
Very good so far with battle there. And good point about maybe there ain't that many collectors left since several ships were destroyed. Honestly had not thought of that.
Overall great job again and I hope that you update soon.
Great job again. I really did not see Jack falling coming. I honestly suspected that she would be among last to fall. But like you say suddenly too people will die. Really unfortunate since I really liked Jack in this story specially. Here's to her memory.
Nice touch with the talk there with Jack and the admiral. Realistic way of thinking there and both bringing out bad sides of carrying out that order or not.
Very good so far with battle there. And good point about maybe there ain't that many collectors left since several ships were destroyed. Honestly had not thought of that.
Overall great job again and I hope that you update soon.