for Unity of Mankind7/4/2024 c1 Guest
The Leagues of Votann mixed with the Advent sounds like a wonderful complication to ME astropolitics.
The Leagues of Votann mixed with the Advent sounds like a wonderful complication to ME astropolitics.
5/3/2021 c8 Spartanhybrid1.5
The hole might be the assri version of the Russian super submarine red October’s (from the movie) propulsion system forgot what it’s called
The hole might be the assri version of the Russian super submarine red October’s (from the movie) propulsion system forgot what it’s called
2/24/2019 c18 Dutchsoldier
I love the story and how it is actually both more detailed and more realistic then canon Mass Effect humanity, however I do have a few remarks on a few things:
1. In the authors note of chapter 17, you said it was strange and absurd that the systems alliance had been pumping out warships including dreadnoughts since before the first contact war started. It actually wasn't strange or absurd, before the first contact war each individual nation state on Earth had their own space navies flying around.
The Systems Alliance before first contact wasn't actually even truly a singular military either, it was literally just the UN in space.
2. You said how it was strange how it could be that Systems Alliance ships were close in strength to Turian ships even though Turians had much more time to advance? The answer to this is twofold with one part being shown throughout the whole series and another in ME3 only.
First part can be found in the nature of Eezo tech and how advances in it are mostly made. The stuff was specifically used by the Reapers to be greater then most alternatives by the time it was found but slow down the advancement shortly afterwards greatly.
The only reason Mass Effect tech is able to compete with the technology any race would be developing by the time it was found at all is that its already close to its endstage the moment it will be found, while also having low power requirements for ships and gear.
The second aspect of the problem is: the Asari. They are considered the 'most intelligent and cultured' species of the galaxy, however in reality they have never made any kind of scientific advancements on their own to speak of. They just create lesser versions tested and capable Prothean designs from the beacon in the Thessian temple whenever anyone else creates prototypes for certain things (with the exception of stealth and biological weapons. Prothean doctrine just didn't allow for stealth to take much of a role. And nearly all of their enemies had been synthetic for multiple millenia. Biological weapons weren't a priority.)
Meanwhile the Matriarchs in control of the Asari hate change of any kind because it will break their century long plans. Because of this scientific research/advancement as an idea just doesn't exist. The only 'true' way to advance is to find ruins of something long dead. This only changes once the Reaper threat becomes a thing and people start getting back to how research advancement really works: There's an enemy trying to kill us thats strong enough to annihilate us if we don't get an advantage fast! Get something new right now, I don't care how you get it done just do it!
I love the story and how it is actually both more detailed and more realistic then canon Mass Effect humanity, however I do have a few remarks on a few things:
1. In the authors note of chapter 17, you said it was strange and absurd that the systems alliance had been pumping out warships including dreadnoughts since before the first contact war started. It actually wasn't strange or absurd, before the first contact war each individual nation state on Earth had their own space navies flying around.
The Systems Alliance before first contact wasn't actually even truly a singular military either, it was literally just the UN in space.
2. You said how it was strange how it could be that Systems Alliance ships were close in strength to Turian ships even though Turians had much more time to advance? The answer to this is twofold with one part being shown throughout the whole series and another in ME3 only.
First part can be found in the nature of Eezo tech and how advances in it are mostly made. The stuff was specifically used by the Reapers to be greater then most alternatives by the time it was found but slow down the advancement shortly afterwards greatly.
The only reason Mass Effect tech is able to compete with the technology any race would be developing by the time it was found at all is that its already close to its endstage the moment it will be found, while also having low power requirements for ships and gear.
The second aspect of the problem is: the Asari. They are considered the 'most intelligent and cultured' species of the galaxy, however in reality they have never made any kind of scientific advancements on their own to speak of. They just create lesser versions tested and capable Prothean designs from the beacon in the Thessian temple whenever anyone else creates prototypes for certain things (with the exception of stealth and biological weapons. Prothean doctrine just didn't allow for stealth to take much of a role. And nearly all of their enemies had been synthetic for multiple millenia. Biological weapons weren't a priority.)
Meanwhile the Matriarchs in control of the Asari hate change of any kind because it will break their century long plans. Because of this scientific research/advancement as an idea just doesn't exist. The only 'true' way to advance is to find ruins of something long dead. This only changes once the Reaper threat becomes a thing and people start getting back to how research advancement really works: There's an enemy trying to kill us thats strong enough to annihilate us if we don't get an advantage fast! Get something new right now, I don't care how you get it done just do it!
9/6/2018 c10 
9Goodpie2
Ugh. This whole thing seems forced, and it was hard to follow all the jumping perspectives, especially since they all had exotic names and we barely knew any of the chars before this. I'm out. Sorry, man. Your setting had a *lot* of promise, but your execution was heavily lacking
9Goodpie2Ugh. This whole thing seems forced, and it was hard to follow all the jumping perspectives, especially since they all had exotic names and we barely knew any of the chars before this. I'm out. Sorry, man. Your setting had a *lot* of promise, but your execution was heavily lacking
9/6/2018 c4 Goodpie2
I... *what?* "It's mysterious alien technology with God knows what function! I'm gonna poke it with my bare hands!" Who does that? Especially highly trained military and science personnel.
I... *what?* "It's mysterious alien technology with God knows what function! I'm gonna poke it with my bare hands!" Who does that? Especially highly trained military and science personnel.
9/6/2018 c2 Goodpie2
Okay. If you're gonna heavily change canon characters, why not just use OCs? There's no real reason why those people would have been born anyway with the timeline diverging the way it has, and just slapping the name onto characters who are otherwise completely original is basically teh worst of both worlds. Don't get me wrong, the chars are interesting and well written. they should just be OCs, not In Name Only characters.
Okay. If you're gonna heavily change canon characters, why not just use OCs? There's no real reason why those people would have been born anyway with the timeline diverging the way it has, and just slapping the name onto characters who are otherwise completely original is basically teh worst of both worlds. Don't get me wrong, the chars are interesting and well written. they should just be OCs, not In Name Only characters.
9/6/2018 c1 Goodpie2
Protip: if you have a boring part of your story that you know nobody likes, *don't do it.* Hundreds of sci-fi writers manage to tell engaging, interesting stories with neither huge infodumps nor boring timelines- show don't tell. Your setting looks *really* interesting and i plan to keep reading, but it would have been much better if you'd actually told it in story- i just skip timelines anyway.
Protip: if you have a boring part of your story that you know nobody likes, *don't do it.* Hundreds of sci-fi writers manage to tell engaging, interesting stories with neither huge infodumps nor boring timelines- show don't tell. Your setting looks *really* interesting and i plan to keep reading, but it would have been much better if you'd actually told it in story- i just skip timelines anyway.
4/5/2017 c14 poppoptart
I think the stigma of warheads in Council space carries over from their banned use on habitable worlds. It's not logical. But I don't see any other way. Although I think only or mostly Krogan used them.
I think the stigma of warheads in Council space carries over from their banned use on habitable worlds. It's not logical. But I don't see any other way. Although I think only or mostly Krogan used them.
4/5/2017 c17 Psyonic Dragoon
Love the stories but your Author notes are huge. Might look into shortening them a little. No need to explain why you are doing what you are unless it clarifies something.
Love the stories but your Author notes are huge. Might look into shortening them a little. No need to explain why you are doing what you are unless it clarifies something.
4/5/2017 c17 eye of sparta
Amazing please continue.
love the plan, so your saying that civilians are like a ant nest if you disturb the hive they'll swarm?
Amazing please continue.
love the plan, so your saying that civilians are like a ant nest if you disturb the hive they'll swarm?
4/2/2017 c16 eye of sparta
Amazing please continue
how long till anyone realizes that a mercenary ship caused the war?
Amazing please continue
how long till anyone realizes that a mercenary ship caused the war?
3/29/2017 c13 6NightWithMoon
... this whole murphy's law, anything that can go wrong is going wrong... I know that I'm more sensitive to this than most, as I like happy stories, but this is honestly getting more distressing than entertaining to read.
6NightWithMoon... this whole murphy's law, anything that can go wrong is going wrong... I know that I'm more sensitive to this than most, as I like happy stories, but this is honestly getting more distressing than entertaining to read.
3/21/2017 c15 Tjuparulla
Being told to surrender by a party that shoots their own civilians... might be better to just blow the ship, or at least threaten that. :D
Being told to surrender by a party that shoots their own civilians... might be better to just blow the ship, or at least threaten that. :D