for Silver Jackson and the Legacy Heroes: The Tree of Eudokia2/5/2017 c2 
2I'm Crazy and I Like It
Good job, I plan to submit an OC but the only problem is I can't find the OC Form. Are we just supposed to make our own or...?
2I'm Crazy and I Like ItGood job, I plan to submit an OC but the only problem is I can't find the OC Form. Are we just supposed to make our own or...?
12/9/2016 c2 7This is the real deal
Okay, so there's more than meets the eye it seems! Trinity's clearly got some kind of issues that she needs to sort through, and with the way Demigod dreams are already hazardous as it is, trauma induced ones must be nigh on fatal! The way her dreams are seen to be so chaotic was described pretty well. Its also nice to see a few cameos from familiar faces like Percy and Will. I'm sort of wondering what they're both doing in Camp Half Blood though, considering that they're definitely not campers anymore. Maybe they're camp directors over the summer?
Anyway, there's a few little niggling issues here and there. Will, for example, whilst he would be very doting, I wouldn't imagine him being so panicked or overbearing that he wouldn't do his job correctly. He's pretty practical most of the time. So smothering Trinity in blankets, or freaking out when she starts freaking out in her sleep doesn't seem very likely. (Smothering her in encouragement or bad jokes is much more likely, and if there was something magical about her midnight panic attack like floating chairs and stuff then I would understand. There's also a few spelling and grammar issues here and there like "He turned to be and then to Trinity, realizing her mistake." I think that's meant to be "He turned to ME and then to Trinity, realizing HIS mistake".
Anyway, good stuff so far! So wait, this is a SYOC story, right? So I can send in my own characters too? I feel like that could be fun, I'll PM the details to you later today!
7This is the real dealOkay, so there's more than meets the eye it seems! Trinity's clearly got some kind of issues that she needs to sort through, and with the way Demigod dreams are already hazardous as it is, trauma induced ones must be nigh on fatal! The way her dreams are seen to be so chaotic was described pretty well. Its also nice to see a few cameos from familiar faces like Percy and Will. I'm sort of wondering what they're both doing in Camp Half Blood though, considering that they're definitely not campers anymore. Maybe they're camp directors over the summer?
Anyway, there's a few little niggling issues here and there. Will, for example, whilst he would be very doting, I wouldn't imagine him being so panicked or overbearing that he wouldn't do his job correctly. He's pretty practical most of the time. So smothering Trinity in blankets, or freaking out when she starts freaking out in her sleep doesn't seem very likely. (Smothering her in encouragement or bad jokes is much more likely, and if there was something magical about her midnight panic attack like floating chairs and stuff then I would understand. There's also a few spelling and grammar issues here and there like "He turned to be and then to Trinity, realizing her mistake." I think that's meant to be "He turned to ME and then to Trinity, realizing HIS mistake".
Anyway, good stuff so far! So wait, this is a SYOC story, right? So I can send in my own characters too? I feel like that could be fun, I'll PM the details to you later today!
12/9/2016 c1 This is the real deal
Not a bad start honestly! I mean, it’s far from perfect, but there was lots that I liked about it! The action scene was pretty good, with a clever way to take out the threat as well instead of the usual strategy of “smash it, smash it, smash it, smash it….” Way to go biology class! I kinda cringed at first when you were saying your concerns about your main character being a sue, but from what little I’ve seen here, she’s actually better than I thought! Still has a few sue like tendencies like being really good at a lot of things and really smart (though somehow having a bad memory….) but those alone aren’t sue like qualities. Actually, they can be character FLAWS if portrayed correctly such as the pressure of having to live up to legends all the time, and that seems like what you were going for from the way your story started. Besides, if I’m honest, I actually understand with the way the character was developed as I did almost exactly the same thing for the same reasons with this old character I made when I first started writing fanfic with this character called DC…. It took a while before I finally got him to not be a Gary Stu…. Anyway, with firsthand experience with that, this character may turn out a lot better than DC did, and she’s got potential!
Okay, pros and cons. Pros: The writing didn’t have very many identifiable mistakes (at least I can’t remember any off the top of my head). The action scene, while needing some polish, was interesting and had an interesting way of solving it, which is good because in Percy Jackson they don’t normally straight up overpower everything until three quarters of the way through.
Silver also has potential for interesting motivations with the pressure that she would constantly be feeling, but also all of the experience that could bring with it. Trinity seems like she could be really hazardous to their health… which is great! It means there will be a lot of great scenes coming from the two interacting!
Cons: If you’re not careful, Silver could very easily turn into a Mary Sue. Like, her name is already excessively unconventional (Silver Ocean Jackson?) so the first thoughts people will have is Mary Sue, so it’s up to you to disprove it! The best way to avoid this is not just simply giving her character flaws, but also watching how the people around her react. Does everybody just kind of unanimously agree with her, and if they don’t, they’re definitely seen as the bad guy? Does she not really develop as a character over time? Are her friends only there to spur her on when she’s down or make her seem cooler? Those are warning signs. So make sure that Trinity develops nicely as her own character too, for example!
Anyway, I like this so far, can’t wait to see where it goes!
Not a bad start honestly! I mean, it’s far from perfect, but there was lots that I liked about it! The action scene was pretty good, with a clever way to take out the threat as well instead of the usual strategy of “smash it, smash it, smash it, smash it….” Way to go biology class! I kinda cringed at first when you were saying your concerns about your main character being a sue, but from what little I’ve seen here, she’s actually better than I thought! Still has a few sue like tendencies like being really good at a lot of things and really smart (though somehow having a bad memory….) but those alone aren’t sue like qualities. Actually, they can be character FLAWS if portrayed correctly such as the pressure of having to live up to legends all the time, and that seems like what you were going for from the way your story started. Besides, if I’m honest, I actually understand with the way the character was developed as I did almost exactly the same thing for the same reasons with this old character I made when I first started writing fanfic with this character called DC…. It took a while before I finally got him to not be a Gary Stu…. Anyway, with firsthand experience with that, this character may turn out a lot better than DC did, and she’s got potential!
Okay, pros and cons. Pros: The writing didn’t have very many identifiable mistakes (at least I can’t remember any off the top of my head). The action scene, while needing some polish, was interesting and had an interesting way of solving it, which is good because in Percy Jackson they don’t normally straight up overpower everything until three quarters of the way through.
Silver also has potential for interesting motivations with the pressure that she would constantly be feeling, but also all of the experience that could bring with it. Trinity seems like she could be really hazardous to their health… which is great! It means there will be a lot of great scenes coming from the two interacting!
Cons: If you’re not careful, Silver could very easily turn into a Mary Sue. Like, her name is already excessively unconventional (Silver Ocean Jackson?) so the first thoughts people will have is Mary Sue, so it’s up to you to disprove it! The best way to avoid this is not just simply giving her character flaws, but also watching how the people around her react. Does everybody just kind of unanimously agree with her, and if they don’t, they’re definitely seen as the bad guy? Does she not really develop as a character over time? Are her friends only there to spur her on when she’s down or make her seem cooler? Those are warning signs. So make sure that Trinity develops nicely as her own character too, for example!
Anyway, I like this so far, can’t wait to see where it goes!
12/3/2016 c1 Trinity Rose
Hey, not on my actual account right now ((lolol)) but thank you so much for writing this! The rp was and still is a ton of fun! I finally get to see what was going on on Silver's side of the story, and who knows, I may write Trinity's side too! MAMA WILL FTW!
Hey, not on my actual account right now ((lolol)) but thank you so much for writing this! The rp was and still is a ton of fun! I finally get to see what was going on on Silver's side of the story, and who knows, I may write Trinity's side too! MAMA WILL FTW!
12/2/2016 c2 Guest
The numbers next to legacy names are ages right? also legacies are kids of halfbloods right?
The numbers next to legacy names are ages right? also legacies are kids of halfbloods right?
12/2/2016 c1 storysupporter
I am interested in OC stories, and I think your OC is good without being Mary Sue. Good job!
I am interested in OC stories, and I think your OC is good without being Mary Sue. Good job!
12/2/2016 c1 Anushri Bhende
Please continue l always love a good next generation story and please add solangelos child in the story they are my OTP
If you need a idea for their child please read Urgent inspiration: needed by silver huntress that's Anastasia Solace di Angelo
Please continue l always love a good next generation story and please add solangelos child in the story they are my OTP
If you need a idea for their child please read Urgent inspiration: needed by silver huntress that's Anastasia Solace di Angelo
12/1/2016 c1 a g-plus friend
I like this concept :) I would like to see where this is going. I also really like how you incorporated trinity into here as well :D
I like this concept :) I would like to see where this is going. I also really like how you incorporated trinity into here as well :D