for Uzumaki's Zombie Kunoichi2/24/2019 c21 Chronic-Insomnia
Looks like Tamo might finally be relevant. 21 chapters is a long time to not stray from the major Canon rails.
Unfortunately, both Uzu and later Konoha seem like thoroughly unlikable and unfriendly 'homes', but he seems willing enough to just go with the flow and be their doormat.
No interest in vengeance or recovery or even any goals to speak of outside of whenever Naruto is brought up in conversation. I do hope there's eventually something for me to root for in the MC.
Looks like Tamo might finally be relevant. 21 chapters is a long time to not stray from the major Canon rails.
Unfortunately, both Uzu and later Konoha seem like thoroughly unlikable and unfriendly 'homes', but he seems willing enough to just go with the flow and be their doormat.
No interest in vengeance or recovery or even any goals to speak of outside of whenever Naruto is brought up in conversation. I do hope there's eventually something for me to root for in the MC.
7/24/2018 c20 That One Lazy Guy
Ah, such an angsty chapter. But we also get a peak into Tamotsu's real troubles and just how the shinobi life and the war has broken him. So sad. I can't help but notice you wirte out these feeling- Tamotsu's insecurties and fears- very deeply, as if they're your own. I know as a writer we tend to make characters an extension of ourselves and it's great to see you have a positive outlet in writing. Or I could just be reading this all wrong, anywho, you're amazing!
But on the bright side we get see Ayumi! I'm glad you didn't make here like Tamotsu and trust him right away. Yes, she favors him and she's curious, but she's smart and sticks to her ninja training despite what her heart tells her. AND KAKASHI! Oh, I just love the idea of the two getting together! They would make such a darling couple, but if yaoi isn't your cup of tea I can see them being fantastic pals if they'd just open up.
And truly hope Tamotsu destroys the council.
And that table. :D
Ah, such an angsty chapter. But we also get a peak into Tamotsu's real troubles and just how the shinobi life and the war has broken him. So sad. I can't help but notice you wirte out these feeling- Tamotsu's insecurties and fears- very deeply, as if they're your own. I know as a writer we tend to make characters an extension of ourselves and it's great to see you have a positive outlet in writing. Or I could just be reading this all wrong, anywho, you're amazing!
But on the bright side we get see Ayumi! I'm glad you didn't make here like Tamotsu and trust him right away. Yes, she favors him and she's curious, but she's smart and sticks to her ninja training despite what her heart tells her. AND KAKASHI! Oh, I just love the idea of the two getting together! They would make such a darling couple, but if yaoi isn't your cup of tea I can see them being fantastic pals if they'd just open up.
And truly hope Tamotsu destroys the council.
And that table. :D
7/24/2018 c19 That One Lazy Guy
Nicely done! I like the way explained how Tamotsu's mindscape worked and how the reason it's so developed is because he's a real master, as such he would have spent a lot of time in here. And Tamotsu's True Self is very telling about his characters and something I found very interesting, writing-wise. I very much enjoyed this chapter! Truly a testament to your growth as a writer, able to create new worlds from nothing.
And more seal-san! Such a fascinating concept he is!
Nicely done! I like the way explained how Tamotsu's mindscape worked and how the reason it's so developed is because he's a real master, as such he would have spent a lot of time in here. And Tamotsu's True Self is very telling about his characters and something I found very interesting, writing-wise. I very much enjoyed this chapter! Truly a testament to your growth as a writer, able to create new worlds from nothing.
And more seal-san! Such a fascinating concept he is!
7/24/2018 c18 That One Lazy Guy
I knew there was a purpose why you always described Tamotsu's eyes with pupils! Inoichi and Tamotsu are related? That would make sense as the Uzumaki clan would have had to make ties to other prominent clans. I can't wait to see how you explain the clan's relations with the other noble clans of Konoha- Nara, Akamichia, Uchiha, etc. The whole interrogation was insightful into Tamotsu's family tree and expanded a little about his shinobi background (like the last chapter and his stats in the bingo book). And we also see how you explain how the Uzushiogakue functioned as a shinobi village. Loved that bit and it certainly explained why they were defeated, seeing that there were at such a great disadvantage- number wise.
I wonder if seal-san's presence will be a big thing in the next chapter, if you plan on writing the mind-walking scene? That'll be fun!
Cheers!
I knew there was a purpose why you always described Tamotsu's eyes with pupils! Inoichi and Tamotsu are related? That would make sense as the Uzumaki clan would have had to make ties to other prominent clans. I can't wait to see how you explain the clan's relations with the other noble clans of Konoha- Nara, Akamichia, Uchiha, etc. The whole interrogation was insightful into Tamotsu's family tree and expanded a little about his shinobi background (like the last chapter and his stats in the bingo book). And we also see how you explain how the Uzushiogakue functioned as a shinobi village. Loved that bit and it certainly explained why they were defeated, seeing that there were at such a great disadvantage- number wise.
I wonder if seal-san's presence will be a big thing in the next chapter, if you plan on writing the mind-walking scene? That'll be fun!
Cheers!
7/24/2018 c17 That One Lazy Guy
Oooooh, new character? From the sounds of it Ayumi is a descendant from the Senju clan. I hope she has more time to interact with Tamotsu. They sound like they'd get along wonderfully. And it would help Tamotsu acclimatize to the village if he was around people his own age, seeing how everyone has moved on without him. Speaking of that, will Tamotsu continue to age? Or will remain the same due to his condition seeing as he's a 'zombie'? Again, great to see Tamotsu's abilities. I like how he's not some over-powered character, he has flaws and gets injured. Under normal circumstances he would have collapsed but I guess Naruto takes precedence.
Love seeing Tamotsu justifed rage against the village, that always irked me in canon. Naruto was a child for god's sake!
Oooooh, new character? From the sounds of it Ayumi is a descendant from the Senju clan. I hope she has more time to interact with Tamotsu. They sound like they'd get along wonderfully. And it would help Tamotsu acclimatize to the village if he was around people his own age, seeing how everyone has moved on without him. Speaking of that, will Tamotsu continue to age? Or will remain the same due to his condition seeing as he's a 'zombie'? Again, great to see Tamotsu's abilities. I like how he's not some over-powered character, he has flaws and gets injured. Under normal circumstances he would have collapsed but I guess Naruto takes precedence.
Love seeing Tamotsu justifed rage against the village, that always irked me in canon. Naruto was a child for god's sake!
7/24/2018 c16 That One Lazy Guy
Again, I am completely enthralled with seal-san. I hope you go on to explain exactly why his existence is there. :) Added with the fact that Tamotsu is a zombie!? Woah! Major stuff to explore there! I'm sad to see that Kushina's and Tamotsu's reunion was so short-lived. But I think it's for the best, I suppose. At least he got to meet Minato and hopefully, Naruto won't grow up so alone. I hope the seal wakes up Tamotsu in time to help Naruto grow as a person.
Again, I am completely enthralled with seal-san. I hope you go on to explain exactly why his existence is there. :) Added with the fact that Tamotsu is a zombie!? Woah! Major stuff to explore there! I'm sad to see that Kushina's and Tamotsu's reunion was so short-lived. But I think it's for the best, I suppose. At least he got to meet Minato and hopefully, Naruto won't grow up so alone. I hope the seal wakes up Tamotsu in time to help Naruto grow as a person.
7/24/2018 c15 That One Lazy Guy
I nearly teared up when Tamotsu offered to switch places with Kushina. Again. You have a very subtle way of writing emotions and the way you evolve the characters. Yes, it's a little crude and rushed at times, but you are truly a wonderful writer when you take the time to devote yourself to this practice. And here we get more of the kanzen tentai! Very cool idea, that one is, giving the Uzumaki a bloodlimit that would explain the other character's abilities in canon.
The seal's commentary is very amusing! I very enjoy his input.
And the ending of this chapter! What a cliffhanger!
I nearly teared up when Tamotsu offered to switch places with Kushina. Again. You have a very subtle way of writing emotions and the way you evolve the characters. Yes, it's a little crude and rushed at times, but you are truly a wonderful writer when you take the time to devote yourself to this practice. And here we get more of the kanzen tentai! Very cool idea, that one is, giving the Uzumaki a bloodlimit that would explain the other character's abilities in canon.
The seal's commentary is very amusing! I very enjoy his input.
And the ending of this chapter! What a cliffhanger!
7/24/2018 c14 That One Lazy Guy
Oh! Longer chapters! Hooray! Not that I'm complaining but if you want to cut loose the short chapters then I'm all for it as long as it doesn't affect your writing :) Take the time you need to write, no use in having you update regularly if all the chapters are going to be rubbish.
Minato is introduced! And rightfully suspicious. Good man, good man. I'm so glad Kushina has Tamotsu back, those two truly complement one another and baby Naruto! Gosh darn, the little turnip is too precious! I'm so happy Kushina beat Tamotsu out of emo funk. The guy is such an absolute cinnamon roll. Lord, too many emotions in chapter! What a rollercoaster!
The fact that Tamotsu refers to the kyuubi so respectfully is truly a testament to his character. Always polite, even in the face of his enemies.
Oh! Longer chapters! Hooray! Not that I'm complaining but if you want to cut loose the short chapters then I'm all for it as long as it doesn't affect your writing :) Take the time you need to write, no use in having you update regularly if all the chapters are going to be rubbish.
Minato is introduced! And rightfully suspicious. Good man, good man. I'm so glad Kushina has Tamotsu back, those two truly complement one another and baby Naruto! Gosh darn, the little turnip is too precious! I'm so happy Kushina beat Tamotsu out of emo funk. The guy is such an absolute cinnamon roll. Lord, too many emotions in chapter! What a rollercoaster!
The fact that Tamotsu refers to the kyuubi so respectfully is truly a testament to his character. Always polite, even in the face of his enemies.
7/24/2018 c13 That One Lazy Guy
Tamotsu, the poor dear, but maaaaan has he got some serious denial/anger management issues. Not that I blame him, poor soul. Why do you make him suffer so? D:
But yes! We aslo get to see more of this mysterious character :D who is the personification of the seal? Fascinating! And I see the seal is capable of absorbing chakra, even the kyuubi's. I can't wait to see what you do with this, as the whole seal idea is very unique. I hope you use it wisely :)
We also get to see Tamotsu's protective side which greatly differs from his regular personality in that normally he's so docile but once something precious to him is in danger he turns into a proper monster. Will the kyuubi's chakra result in permanent changes, ie Naruto's whisker marks, claws, fangers, etc or is it temporary like when Naruto taps into the bijuu's chakra?
YEEEEEESSS Tamotsu is reunited with Kushina! Oh, the feels...
Tamotsu, the poor dear, but maaaaan has he got some serious denial/anger management issues. Not that I blame him, poor soul. Why do you make him suffer so? D:
But yes! We aslo get to see more of this mysterious character :D who is the personification of the seal? Fascinating! And I see the seal is capable of absorbing chakra, even the kyuubi's. I can't wait to see what you do with this, as the whole seal idea is very unique. I hope you use it wisely :)
We also get to see Tamotsu's protective side which greatly differs from his regular personality in that normally he's so docile but once something precious to him is in danger he turns into a proper monster. Will the kyuubi's chakra result in permanent changes, ie Naruto's whisker marks, claws, fangers, etc or is it temporary like when Naruto taps into the bijuu's chakra?
YEEEEEESSS Tamotsu is reunited with Kushina! Oh, the feels...
7/24/2018 c12 That One Lazy Guy
YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS! Kyuubi Attack! Now, where will you take this? Guess I'll have to find out in the later chapters. With the way you write, I'm none too sure how you will take this fic in regards to canon. I do wish Tamotsu makes it time to save Kushina, he made her promise, after all! Your page breaks never fail to make me snort. Like a stage crew member awkwardly wheeling out a part of the set in the middle of a scene.
Cheers!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS! Kyuubi Attack! Now, where will you take this? Guess I'll have to find out in the later chapters. With the way you write, I'm none too sure how you will take this fic in regards to canon. I do wish Tamotsu makes it time to save Kushina, he made her promise, after all! Your page breaks never fail to make me snort. Like a stage crew member awkwardly wheeling out a part of the set in the middle of a scene.
Cheers!
7/24/2018 c11 That One Lazy Guy
I couldn't help but laugh at your author's note. I share your exact sentiments! Minato and Kushina were wonderfully complex characters. I wish instead all this Boruto nonsense we'd had gone back into warring state era and see how the shinobi world was developed from there. Perhaps we would have more KushinaXMinato screen time. Oooooooh! The hairclip! My brain almost completely erased it from my mind! I love how you wrote Minato's thoughts and theories upon it, truly funny. And the quote perfectly sums up Kushina's and Tamotsu's relationship in the true spirit of Naruto. Most characters never have much screen time but the impact they leave on the series and its protagonist are very noticeable.
Cheers!
I couldn't help but laugh at your author's note. I share your exact sentiments! Minato and Kushina were wonderfully complex characters. I wish instead all this Boruto nonsense we'd had gone back into warring state era and see how the shinobi world was developed from there. Perhaps we would have more KushinaXMinato screen time. Oooooooh! The hairclip! My brain almost completely erased it from my mind! I love how you wrote Minato's thoughts and theories upon it, truly funny. And the quote perfectly sums up Kushina's and Tamotsu's relationship in the true spirit of Naruto. Most characters never have much screen time but the impact they leave on the series and its protagonist are very noticeable.
Cheers!
7/24/2018 c10 That One Lazy Guy
Short chapter and same filler-vibe, but it's quite entertaining! I hope you know your efforts are valued in that you try so hard to pump out these insightful chapters. And coming from Kushina's perspective is fabulous!
I am very curious about this newcomer (although your summary spoiled it foe haha my fault for not keeping up) and the fact that she keeps hearing Tamotsu's voice. Again, Tamotsu's impact on Kushina is so touching yet sad.
Cheers!
Short chapter and same filler-vibe, but it's quite entertaining! I hope you know your efforts are valued in that you try so hard to pump out these insightful chapters. And coming from Kushina's perspective is fabulous!
I am very curious about this newcomer (although your summary spoiled it foe haha my fault for not keeping up) and the fact that she keeps hearing Tamotsu's voice. Again, Tamotsu's impact on Kushina is so touching yet sad.
Cheers!
7/24/2018 c9 That One Lazy Guy
Yoohoo! Guess who?
Ah, I apoligize for not reviewing in quite a while, forgot my darn password again. I finally did the sensible thing and saved it to my computer which is so much easier I don't know why I hadn't thought of doing this earlier, although I blame the fact that it was saved on my cell (which I dropped in the loo).
Enough of my excuses fanatastuc chapter! Can't help but get filler vibes from it, but I appreciate the effort your making in popping out these chapters, love.
I like how you added the fact that Kushina also had a similiar relationship with the sandaime that Naruto also had in canon. Nice touch! Also what you did to explain the Senju's absence in canon was very good too. I always wondered what happened to them as they were portrayed as a pillar to Konoha's formation as village. It's disheartening to see just how much of a profound impact Uzushiogakue fall had on Kushina and the bittersweet reminders of Tamotsu are tear-jerkers
Yoohoo! Guess who?
Ah, I apoligize for not reviewing in quite a while, forgot my darn password again. I finally did the sensible thing and saved it to my computer which is so much easier I don't know why I hadn't thought of doing this earlier, although I blame the fact that it was saved on my cell (which I dropped in the loo).
Enough of my excuses fanatastuc chapter! Can't help but get filler vibes from it, but I appreciate the effort your making in popping out these chapters, love.
I like how you added the fact that Kushina also had a similiar relationship with the sandaime that Naruto also had in canon. Nice touch! Also what you did to explain the Senju's absence in canon was very good too. I always wondered what happened to them as they were portrayed as a pillar to Konoha's formation as village. It's disheartening to see just how much of a profound impact Uzushiogakue fall had on Kushina and the bittersweet reminders of Tamotsu are tear-jerkers
4