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for From ninja to shinigami

12/22/2016 c2 22Tensa-Zangetsu102
December 22, please keep up the pace!
12/22/2016 c1 Rebmul
hoping to see retsu and kukaku in the harem so far so good and I really hope kakashi gets his
12/22/2016 c1 3wolfkid23
So far I am loving how the story is, it has a strong base and a smooth flow for events and I don't see anything bad or negative in it
12/21/2016 c1 BANKAIZEN
12/21/2016 c1 zerozeno
Needs to be rated M before most people will read
12/17/2016 c1 Vinay
Use invited marks for sentence said by person, otherwise it is difficult to read who said what.
12/14/2016 c1 Guest
So much errors in plot, grammar, paragraphs, and punctuation. Go get a beta reader, noob!
12/14/2016 c1 Guest
I'm having a real hard time reading it because I cant know when a person start their sentence, I recommend viewing the chapter and putting " " at the start and end of the sentences in order for the reader to be able to more easily see it.
hope I helped and good luck
12/14/2016 c1 Ito Uchiha
You look like you have a good idea, but try and write this better, you'd get loads more support if this was done more profesional. Just use correct grammar an you'd do alright. Now a few mistakes here and there are ok, but if the story is written like this for the rest of it, you won't get much support.
12/13/2016 c1 31Kento-hish17
Overall in terms of story, I love it. Glad to see it isn't too similar to my story; if it was, we'd BOTH be getting people saying this or that about each other. I also like how you brought in some parts that I haven't gotten to; definitely shows a difference of style and thought process.

In terms of writing, however, it's a bit patchy. There are literally no quotation marks telling me when someone is saying something; I have to figure it out for myself. And some sentences just cut off and continue into the next paragraph. You told be about your Beta, so either you didn't bring this to him or he messed up. I like to think I'm not being critical, just pointing out a way you can do better. It's still a good story, but marred by some errors we all make.
12/13/2016 c1 1Spider-Man999
You gotta add the "" when someone is talking and capitalize the first letter in every sentence begining and capitalize the first letter in a person's name. Not doing so makes it a little hard to read.
12/13/2016 c1 thor94
look interesting.
Kakashi and sakura are damn bastards, hope naruto will take revenge on them.
like naruto learn about his parents and claim all of his clan legacy and wealthy assets (i wouldn't believe that his parents and clan were poor and all of their assets, money and jutsu are all destroyed)
12/13/2016 c1 1SPeCTeR-ll7
This is a good setup but it is a little hard to read. You have a lot of run on sentences and paragraph breaks in the middle of some of the sentences where they really shouldn't be.
12/13/2016 c1 doomqwer
just some constructive criticism you should try mark where characters speak i have trouble find where speaking begins and describing action ends
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