FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Price To Your Freedom

1/23/2017 c4 3WinterYule
Wow, lot's of midd-ahem-special fingers exchanged in this chapter. I dubbed this chapter 'the battle of the fingers'.

Ary, everyone is always telling you to be careful because you always get hurt. Remember every time you leave the safe-zone you get bodily injured in many ways? The heavies being a hole right through your abdomen, how you survive that, I have literally no idea. But still you're lucky enough to be alive.

Cross is a semi-child predator. There are lines never be cross and he semi-cross them...You know, since he's Cross? Ah, jeez, he's creepy in that way and that way alone...Lenalee better jump away and Ary should fly as far as possible.
1/23/2017 c3 WinterYule
Hah! I knew it! Lavi's the love interest! Two red heads; power couple! I literally called it when she upgrade him to a freaking pillow buddy! At first I was kind of suspicious of the Kanda/Ary ship that you dangled in my face last chapter but hah, I got it. One point to Sherlock Yule and deduct...wait, I can't deduct your point, you're the writer...You planned this. So Yule: 1, author: 100. XD

Ary kind of gets hurt a lot. I wonder how her body works? It's related with her Innocence right, her fast healing powers. I wonder if got any reason why? (Don't mind me, curious daisy babbling over here.)
1/23/2017 c2 WinterYule
Aw, dang it. I really want to read Ary getting chased by Komurins...Can you imagine the destruction? Of course you can. But oh, well, it will literally (almost) the same as the episode so I guess nothing lost?

But still. Running. Screaming. And pissed off Ary.

(Sorry, can't get it out of my mind).

The literally funniest part is the part where Komuii tries setting Ary and Kanda up because of what Old Man Cross said. It's literal gold. (Maybe in future, if you are so inclined, you can do a oneshot on those moments? Kinda curious of how it plays out)

My favourite part is when Ary said "Are you serious?" and point out that the clock is the innocence. I can almost imagine Lenalee and Allen "...Ah." with that realisation on their face.

This chapter is a bit rush though since you're literally skipping from one scene to another. A tip (though I'm really not the best when it comes to tips since everyone have so different methods. This is just what's working for me.) when you want to slow down scenes, you can pick the most important part you want to project and play with how the characters react from one another. Hmm...like maybe a fiery Ary getting annoyed by Miranda's constant sorry...s? Kind of more character interaction smoother story speed?

Eh, I'm still enjoying this fic none the less.
1/23/2017 c1 WinterYule
Oh God, Maes Hughes, do you really want me to tear up again? I'm literally wounded for life because of his death. He's the sweetest character I have ever seen. Oh God, I'm going to cry again.

Hey, saw that you reviewed my fic and literally saw that you're writing an OC fic for DGM and I just had to drop in. Ary is a firecracker, hoot~ I love her personality already. Normally for OC with angel wings and etc... they always seem to have an innocent type of personality that maybe can do no wrong around them so it's kind of refreshing to see a contrast between the shape of the innocence she has and Ary's fiery and sassy personality.

The starting of the fic though is a little confusing since you jumped straight into the action but it's a small matter really. You don't have to worry too much, just as long as you enjoy writing...which I'm glad to hear that you do.

Sorry that this review is kind of long. I'm the kind of person that either write too little or write too much haha.

I'm going to read the other chapters now...Oh, and thanks for checking out my story.

-Yule
1/21/2017 c8 Chymera-Dragon
Don't worry Author-chan, I have already read "I Dream in Blood" and it isn't as similar as you think. Good story btw!
12/25/2016 c3 Guest
Japanese word for Angel... Clever, and merry Christmas if you celebrate it! If you don't, well... Shit... Plus, I approve of Lavi being a love interest! ~ An eccentric shipper!
12/16/2016 c1 Tick Tock Follow the Clock
This is really good! I can't wait for the next chapter.

P.S English is my first langue and you are still better then me when it comes to writing correctly in english.
97 « Prev Page 1 .. 4 5 6 7

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service