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for Tales of The Cosmic War EXE Vol: The Secret War Beyond Good and Evil!

11/5/2021 c2 13Ganheim
Chapter 2
doors opening caused him to look up and smile. For the two that entered were some of the individuals he trusted most
[A bit of a clunky separation of what looks like a single idea, but your quick description does a good job at (re?)introducing two new characters in a story that has Loads. Because of that, don’t forget that refreshing or expanding some description as the chapters and scenes go on can help the audience keep straight who’s who]

I wonder if their will be enough time
[there. Not all text editors will catch spelling mistakes like that and I’ve had a few editors say that’s a pet peeve they’ll reject whole manuscripts for]

I got kidnapped by Bowser so many times that it became routine
[It’s funny to think that this has become an in-universe joke]

posturing theses so called hero's
[these, heroes]

Think your a hot shot
[There’s still quite a few small spelling errors, and in the sniping of a rising battle scene it takes away from the flow of events. “Your” is the possessive, “you’re” is the contraction “you are” and this occurs repeatedly]

to purge corruption from existence, but I got over it
[If purging corruption is his genuine belief, he’s not going to ‘get over it’ he’s just going to change how he goes about it now that the rules changed. He’s given no indication that he cares at all about corruption, only his own ego. If he attacked the heroes for ‘letting lesser evil get away for an unwillingness to get their hands dirty’ or something then that would indicate a consistent belief he holds himself to and excuses his poor treatment of them]

And we will."
Lacus was cut off, as Beerus in a blur slapped Lacus
[Your punctuation doesn’t indicate a sharp cut-off and the structure forces your audience to backpedal because you give the result before the cause]

enough to overcome a God of Description
[Calling himself mister exposition doesn’t seem to fit his character, this looks like another spelling error that pulls away from the narrative]

being used to keel the dimensional walls from colliding into each other
[keep dimensional walls from collapsing?]

Don't think I'll show mercy just because you made a noble sacrifice
[I don’t know the series Beerus came from, but he marks all the hallmarks of ‘evil’ as implied by your writing so far: selfish, vain, a bully against those weaker, and nil self-restraint. I don’t know why he survived the implied earlier purge. There’s nothing interesting about his character. The heroes aren’t going to kill him and they have plot armor preventing death so there’s nothing at stake]

Are combined strength will be enough!
[Confident statements are undercut when the wrong words are used, they make me think of Shakespeare’s malapropisms]

Seriously, this is not me
[There are only so many times you can repeat the exact same words before they dull the effect. That also makes everyone sound the same. You want your characters to sound distinct]

Still juggling loads of characters, though you’re starting to restrict how many are in any given scene which is a good thing. I do want to say: Don’t kill someone if you’re going to bring them back, it takes away a sense of consequences. Besides some spelling errors, though, this chapter looks less like "something happens" and more of a transition piece to get us to a larger introduction of the villain faction. I think some hints of Beerus or some other 'power senser' type person noticing something's odd around Bajor could have helped reinforce that transition, because you have their cameo at the end of chapter 1.
5/24/2021 c1 Ganheim
ridges on their noise, making them of the Bajoran race
[I think it might be better to say MARKING them AS Bajorans]

for all of his power he is not god
[I’m wary of a messianic figure (they’re very easily exploited, especially to Protagonist-centered Morality), but this is a humble and mindful stance to take which helps identify not only the nonpresent Ben Auro but also the immediate characters as thinking people instead of fanatics]

died with him to because
[A good check to be sure which “too” you need is to substitute it with “also”. If it works even if it throws off the sentence rhythm, you need both o’s]

the masses Alephs.
Attacking them
[Was there a mistake? Formatting convention holds that a paragraph break marks a shift to a new character. This issue crops up repeatedly and hampers the readability because there are multiple actors in the scene so each break indicates possibly a new person doing something. If a villain monologues, it’s fine for it to go on a while. That’s just the nature of a monologue]

be forced to except

He used a power he had to will the incoming bursts
[Wordy, when you’re trying to transition from a descriptive introduction to an action end. Just holding up the hands and the bolts halting in the air is enough demonstration of cause and effect]

great a legend " heroes" leave
[Quoting within dialog switches to inverted commas ‘’ so the dialog markings remain clear]

She was clad in a white and pink armor like bodysuit, with a light blue shawl covering her body
[I just want to take a moment to say if this is a returning character this is a good swift description, and if it’s a new one it’s descriptive without being an infodump. It’s tempting to drop a dense paragraph, but this here is an excellent balance between description and moving the story along]

as Ben realized her grip felt weaker

their you are Jadzia
[there. It bothers me when the wrong one is used because it’s easy to change the meaning of the sentence. Most word processors don’t catch commonly mistaken words and homonyms]

There are tons of characters which makes it hard to follow along. For continuing audiences that’s not going to be much of an issue because most will be familiar, I think only a handful are treated as new and they’re all given enough description to be at least moderately clear. You have some issues with formatting – breaking up dialog when only one person is talking, mistaken words. Even so, the fundamentals of active people and motivated characters among the heroes and villains are all clear. The stakes are high and there is plenty of foundation for personality conflicts which gives you a lot of conflict without needing too make “planets blowing up” to be the only thing at risk. That helps ground the human side of the conflict.
8/22/2019 c52 Deez Fitz
After re-reading my final review, I realized that I forgot to more feedback that's not exclusive to character analysis. Funny enough it was something I wanted to chime in for a while, yet I forgot due to well, adulting. Lol.

You have a pretty good setup going, with the world/universe unraveling with a heavy emphasis on a "race against time." But going off of what I said before about how Ben Auro wasn't utilized properly, this is what I mean.

A lot of the narrative would have worked much better if the central focus was Ezan and Doug. You established that most of the characters supported Ben Auro's vision, which could have still been explored from Ezan's perspective. It would have also given the reader more insight on him, how he's grown, what he really thinks of the Homeostasis Axiom (sorry if I got the name wrong, it was a pretty long one), and another major character who has found his place in the universe. In stark contrast to Doug Fitter, whose character fit the bill of "war veteran struggling to find his place in a peaceful world." Having Ezan be in contact with Ben Auro would have been a very interesting development, especially considering their history. Having Ben and Lacus see the err of their ways and being brought to reason would have made the reveal a lot better, and it would have given them even more fuel for their fire to fight. Especially in the epilogue where Ben is still fighting, where he is doing what he feels is best for a universe with a new brand of chaos wrought upon it.

And once the revelation is unveiled, it would give Ezan (and likely most of the others) room for pause. As mentioned before, I wouldn't see him siding with Fitter but also not with Ben Auro. Your change in narrative-having Ben being manipulated/fooled by the angels-wouldn't have been affected either, since Doug is the one who sealed away a portion of Ben Auro's power. The idea of Ezan being the character bringing Ben Auro to reason is something I was hoping to see here and would have been great full-circle style development. Ben's realization came off as a bit sloppy and didn't really change him; as mentioned before, he wasn't convinced by any friends or family, he was convinced because he learned firsthand that he was tricked.

To simplify it, it boils down to three factions:

Ezan/some Enji
Ben/Lacus/some Enji
Doug Fitter/possibly Aqua and some renegade-esque characters

Mind you these are just my thoughts on how the narrative could have been improved. Obviously your intention was to make Ben Auro the main character, as he was in the original story, but I really like the idea of him being a major support character. It's a little late to change that now of course, but hopefully you'll consider this feedback and maybe even implement it for a future idea of yours.

See you, Space Cowboy... again!
8/10/2019 c52 37Piccolo Sky
That wedding feast... To quote "The Stuff", "are you eating it...or is it eating YOU?!"

Is it sad that I didn't realize until now KOS-MOS has the personality of a brick? :P (Interesting choice for a main character of a franchise...)

Let me amend One Above All slightly...what if the universe is nothing more than a story someone was writing where he wanted to see all of his favorite heroes and villains kill each other for his own entertainment? (Kind of off topic, but I've fantasized about what would happen if any of my OCs ever met me. They'd probably hate me. I made their lives Hell and created people to torture them because I thought it was fun. The villains would hate me even more because I made them to kill them one day.)

Well, Doug may not like to hear it, but he's far from gained the universe he wanted. Instead he created a new Cosmos and Chaos.

Ironically, I don't blame Doug entire for his "order" degenerating into the new universal force of evil. I blame Aqua. As a surprising turn, I think she's the one who actually set things on the road to going bad. For Doug, it is ultimately about what he finds personally satisfying, even though he has something of a higher "ideal" in mind. But then again, so does Ben. In the end, he is sticking to his ideas and what he thinks is the best for everyone even if he thinks he also gets what he wants out of it. Aqua, on the other hand, looks like she's just sticking with Doug out of romantic attraction. In other words, purely personal motives. That's how things start going from bad to worse. After all, all of Zannacross' old followers were nothing more than people who ultimately thought he was a way to get what they wanted. And in a universe that's mostly at peace, if Doug wants to introduce "chaos" then, well...he's going to have to go around killing (yes, no way around it, unlike how he seems to think) a lot of "good" people and propping up "evil" ones.

But Ben doesn't seem like he's immune to change either. How long wil it be before he can't stand being indecisive or wavering anymore? Before he establishes an order that doesn't allow any room for chaos or "tolerance"?

The more things change, the more things stay the same. A few million years from now, maybe it'll be Doug leading his own army of Hell to tear down Ben from his Heaven...

As always, I appreciate you sticking to it for so long. It really took a lot of commitment to make it this far and integrate this many threads, and after having created a situation in which there was no one "evil" left to fight in the previous story you found a way to bring a lot of it back. And I will agree that this one wasn't nearly as "fairy tale"-esque and more mature, which is a good thing for any sequel. Testing the characters in new ways. And that was a challenge here, as it how can you challenge a character who "beat the devil" last time?

Now that we're at the end, if I had to offer more constructive criticism, while I admire how ambitious of a crossover this is it has so many people in it that there's no chance to really focus on certain ones and give them time to "shine" when they have to constantly share spotlights with so many others, and many characters are only in there to offer only a short villain battle. Another downside to that is that there could be a large number of characters no one is familiar with, while those they ARE familiar with only have an opportunity for a little screen time. Aside from that, while I appreciate the efforts to get more into philosophy, some of them seemed like they could have been condensed as they tended to repeat themselves.

That all being said, it did take a more interesting look at a opposite side of the hero philosophical argument. Most of us who fantasize about being superheroes imagine what we would do if we had the power to do whatever we wanted. This story takes it a bit further...what would you do if you took that power to its logical extreme, to the point where you would have the capability to dictate all order. Superheroes, in the end, are largely kept in check by the fact they have supervillains to fight. So how do they keep truth and justice when there are no supervillains left to threaten it? And, when all is said and done, one can step back and look at the characters and make the argument that if the audience can spit on Doug for being a hedonistic maniac, then it can also shake its head at Ben for being a romantic fool.

The take-home message for me? Perhaps people shouldn't envy God so much or think his position is one so easy to assume, even if one can "do everything". Instead...

"My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content." (Psalm 131:1-2)

So maybe Cosmos and the Beyonder (maybe even Zannacross one day) were the real people who got what no one else in this story did: peace.

Now crossing my fingers for more Zilos. :D
8/8/2019 c52 Deez Fitz
Wow... we're at the end of this sequel. Hard to believe! There's a lot to say and kind of hard to find a place to start. I guess I should start with the final chapter, be a good place to kick off the final review.

So if I'm reading this right, Doug Fitter was the one who ultimately won in Cosmic Wars EXE. It's a pretty interesting route to go and funny enough, is probably the best/good ending for the story. The timeskip was kind of neat too and naming Doug's descendant "Astrid" is a cute little nod. Also Zael, haha. Oh that angsty lil thing.

That's about all I got for the final chapter. Onward to the story overall and we'll start with Ben Auro.

-Ben Auro-

Man... he has grown a lot since the last story, but he fits the criteria of "not everyone changes for the better." This character is a prime example of "not knowing what he wants" despite his attempted projection of said flaw onto Doug when the latter defected. For a supposed hero, he lacks many heroic traits; sure he says he wants to do the right thing, but it's not always a hero who thinks he or she is doing the right thing.

I said it before (as did a couple of your other readers) and I stand by the point. Ben Auro was a villain in this story, the Lawful Evil who sees himself as Lawful Good archetype. Anti-villain is probably a better descriptor for him. That in and of itself is an interesting trait for your main character. He is straight up unlikeable in this sequel and it's clear that you didn't intend for him to be so with all the ways you tried to get the reader to sympathize with him.

Ben Auro had his faults in the first story, but he was still a believable protagonist (besides the whole Darth Idious scene.) Here he is overbearing, always thinks he's right, never admits when he's wrong unless he has some coping mechanism to bounce or deflect accusations, and had no qualms instilling tyranny onto the universe in the name of the greater good. Doug Fitter had no qualms with his vision either, but he didn't make excuses. Ben Auro always, always did. It makes sense for the direction his character went and I think it's actually pretty good writing, but having him as your hero was the biggest weakness of the story. I'll get to that shortly.

On one end, I get it. He's no longer mortal and this sort of mentality makes sense for him. But then you've got scenes with him still acting human and mortal, like the wedding. Of course Ben and Lacus love each other, but the idea of having a wedding doesn't really sit well with the image you were trying to paint for them throughout your sequel. Maybe you were going for them trying to hold onto the last bit of their humanity? I don't think it's bad per say, just a bit off considering that they're y'know, immortal. Divine beings. Do they really need a human ceremony?

When I say that Ben Auro being EXE's main hero was the story's biggest weakness, I mean it not only for aforementioned reasons, but his goal, while meaning well, is still bad. Ben might have had the idea of, "Use as little force as possible" or "gently guide them if they go off course", but that's a situation that begs for absolute power to corrupt absolutely. He was banking on everything going perfect with absolutely no means to deviate from his path; the Enji were complicit in this too, which not only makes them guilty by association, it really waters down Kira as a villain because he had so much of that mentality in the previous story. Ben constantly shrieking that others need to trust him and that his plan is foolproof requires more than him just saying it; in fact, it makes him even worse because he was unwavering and unwilling to compromise in any way, shape, or form. Dictators and tyrants deal in absolute.

And in the end, Ben was tricked by higher beings. He didn't once think their plan was off? So not only does he always think he's right, but he's also easily duped and a pawn. Kira said it best. It's pretty evident that you were setting up for this kind of ending until you received that extremely negative feedback regarding Ben's revelation; I remember you describing some of it to me and comparing it to the Sibyl System from Psycho-Pass, which is also not a great world either considering how easily exploited and corrupt it was. That plot twist where he was manipulated really took the wind out of his sails.

For the most part, he was written well. But I don't think he was utilized properly. And he was easily the worst character in this story, right up to the end. Doug Fitter says that nature should play its course, then Ben immediately jumps down his throat by insisting that Fitter said that people should just die and are not worth saving. This coming from the same guy whose iron fisted crusade was brought to an abrupt halt, not by his friends convincing him that he was wrong, but by finding out he was manipulated. I think that speaks for itself.

-Lacus Raystar-

At face value, she seems to be pretty different. But when you get right down to it, she's just sleeping with a different flavor of control freak. She was complicit in Brad's crimes and she was complicit in the agenda Ben wanted to enact upon the universe. The only thing different she does is get lewd for Ben a lot.

She had a pretty good scene with Doug, when she helped in splitting him from The Chaotic Comedian, but she was otherwise not much different from the first story. Hell, in her mini-arc she was constantly being egged to "think about what Ben wants." For all she endured, Lacus should have been livid over remarks like that. That's exactly what she did for Brad, always thought about what he wanted.

In short, she is second verse same as the first. I didn't like her in the first story and I don't like her now.

-Ezan Zeon-

Ezan and James probably had the least growth in the timeskip. Ezan's change was small, yet easy to see. He's another character I think should have had serious problems with Ben Auro and Lacus Raystar; Ezan is the one character who should have gone against him. Not sided with Doug (who was pretty much taken over by Brad at that point), but made a stand against them. His upbringing is reminiscent of their vision and like Ben, Ezan was an apprentice under Kira and even had his own "losing himself" subplot in the first story.

In the end, he really didn't contribute much to the overall story. His mini arc was fun and it was nice to see him in action again, but Ezan took a real backseat in EXE. There was some lost potential, but I can't really say anything bad about him other than him blindly going along with Ben & Lacus' vision and then having little to say about it after the revelation.

-Doug Fitter-

He easily had the most growth from the first story. The cheerful and fun-loving sidekick grew into the person he became in EXE, and it was a pretty good ride. Having Doug as the guy wandering around looking for a sense of belonging is a pretty solid take on how some veterans have trouble assimilating back into society after war. He was troubled, lived for the moment, and never made excuses. Doug Fitter is probably the most relatable character in this story.

Fitter didn't have a great agenda and his choice in how the universe was "remade" was flawed. He was even stuck with an unfortunate roommate for most of the ride. There were moments where he was in the wrong and there were times it wasn't painted in a good light because he just didn't care. That was the bad side of Doug Fitter's logic and you did very well with painting that picture. His more extreme stances were a result of Brad's influence, but by the end it was clear that while Doug's vision for the universe wasn't perfect and had flaws, it was still better than having Ben Auro or Brad Fowltror win.

Your biggest issues with Fitter were the inclusion of real life references (and frankly, baseless accusations) in a vain attempt to get readers to sympathize with Ben Auro and you, the author. There was no excuse for that. I'm not the only one who caught that and I'm glad for it.

Doug Fitter was otherwise well written and in an ironic sense, is the actual hero of the story.


Other characters, like James, Hiryu, Myers, etc, had some moments but there wasn't anything that overly stood out about them aside from the aforementioned plan that Ben scrapped despite years of being a fan of it.

The plot was alright. But it was really bogged down by how overbearing you were with your political stances at certain points. Inserting political messages can be done right, but that would require subtlety. And well, subtlety isn't your forte.

But for what it's worth, it was fun to see the old crew in action again. Even if I did prefer them in the previous story. And you saw your project through to the end, which is more than I can say for most people.

See you around, Space Cowboy!
7/29/2019 c51 Deez Fitz
Very interesting twist with Fitter. I'm eager to see the finale and what's going to happen in a world where a common guy is the one who ended up drastically altering the way of the universe. And apparently The One Above was on board with it too. Kind of funny in hindsight, as it paints Doug Fitter in a better light than pretty much all of the Enji, who were on board with that absolutist plan they were going to enact upon the universe. Fitter's idea isn't perfect either, but what is perfect?

Great job with illustrating the vast differences between Ben Auro and Doug Fitter. Benny Boy seldom admits that he's wrong while Fitter doesn't make excuses and was pretty quick to own up to his hand in what happened. Who would have thought that the happy-go-lucky sidekick from Arc 1 of Cosmic Wars would have gone through such phenomenal character development? Ben, Doug, and Ezan have easily had the most character development in the entire series; more on that in the final review I'll be leaving, but it's worth pointing out that these three have grown so much.

Looking forward to the finale!
7/28/2019 c51 Piccolo Sky
At this point, I'm most interested in seeing how Cosmos, Zannacross, and the Beyonder ended up. (Heh, too bad he'll never remember how he ended up losing all of his power.) I have a few ideas that might be nice, but I can only cross my fingers about them.

And yes, I did pick up on the Star Trek: TNG nod.

For a moment, I did think that Ben and Lacus would lose their respective powers with the "end" of the rest of the heavenly beings, but if their power became innate instead then the two of them plus Kira are now the closest things to gods that are left for most people.

See you next chapter. :)
7/10/2019 c50 Piccolo Sky
Glad to see the big ape's second life was a short one. His "use" (or lackthereof) of his new power was appropriate. He's used to solving everything just by punching it, so what does he do with the power of the universe? Grows two more arms. :P

One small detail I liked about this one, although I'm not sure if it was intentional... It struck me one of the biggest ways to humiliate Brad would be to simply take away all of his stolen power. Being degenerated into a scrawny, 90 lb weakling (one of the very "weak losers" he hates so much) would probably be quite the torture for a guy like him to begin with. After all, he steals his power...he doesn't have the discipline to work out enough to make something of himself even over the long run. Being turned into a little withered shrimp that Ben and/or Lacus could casually slap around would be an amusing fate. This was satisfying as-is though. :)

I was a little surprised to see the Beyonder returned. I really thought that was the last of him in the last chapter. Could he actually do a Heel Turn Face after all of his garbage, boasting, and madness?

(Shrugs) Why not? As a watcher of MLP:FIM, I see that ALL THE TIME. :X Besides, now he's got a good indicator for a moral compass. "See? Just do everything the opposite of Brad." :D

Not sure what's going to happen next other than the largest boom in history, but see you next chapter.
7/8/2019 c50 Deez Fitz
Quite the contrast between the Zannacross finale and this one in terms of length. But I think that's good because Brad didn't deserve a multi-chapter final battle. He's the best villain you created (and one of my favorite characters as a result), but what's in the past should say in the past. As crazy as the fight got, he never felt as overwhelming or dire as Zannacross. This showdown felt more along the lines of a "one last chance at glory" and "desperate last stand" on the big bad's behalf. Very appropriate for Fowltror.

Doug Fitter even managed to get a chuckle out of me with the whole, "No wonder you don't name your attacks, you suck at it!"

Good on you for sticking it out till the end. I know you've got one chapter left, but no doubts that you'll wrap up your story.
6/17/2019 c49 Piccolo Sky
Drawing to a close could mean more Xilos, so yay. :) One thing is for sure...Brad doesn't care to do things in groups, so no more minions wasting time. On a more serious note, the irony is that Ben and Brad have something major in common-they both started off as perfectly average people with not the best family life, and they both became "greater than god" by their own will and determination. I also noticed for the Beyonder's end that you worked in a touch of Secret Wars II resolution.

And I totally called that the Chaotic Comedian didn't go down that easy. :P

See ya' next chapter. :) It'll be interesting to see if this is wrapped up in one big chapter or multiple.
6/15/2019 c49 Deez Fitz
Zannacross sired Beerus, Champa and the other Gods of Destruction? The "one true master" is a divine furry. Wonderful.

“Point is we are fighting to cling on to(onto) are(our) unique individuality now matter how much reality changes. You’re not going to break are(our) will!”

Ben Auro really doesn’t know what he wants. Yes, he’s obviously not for the ideals he was planning on enforcing, but that’s a pretty wild deviation from the philosophy he developed during his time with the angels.

Also, Doug Fitter is referred to as an Enji a couple of times. Did I miss a part where he rejoined? I’m pretty sure I didn’t. It’s been long since established that he left the order.

Also, mortified means embarrassed. Was he embarrassed by Brad’s return? You should use vocabulary that you’re familiar with. And your constant “apostrophes as plurals” typo is something you really need to work on; there’s one point where you say hero”s. Proofread next time.

Was about to make another comparison to The Beyonder and Brad, then well… that happened. The best character of your series is back in action! I'd rather him win over Ben at this point.
6/8/2019 c48 Deez Fitz
“It’s not that simple. There were outside (were outside factors / was an outside factor, take your pick) factor that pushed him into that path. Ben’s regretted his actions and have(has) tried to atone for what he’s done as Darth Idious ever since!”

Yes, these factors include: an intergalactic military order that apparently doesn’t do mental health screenings of their soldiers, incompetence in letting a commander enact campaigns of tyranny and brutality (Kira), and not punishing the perpetrator for committing genocide (Ben.) Yes, people make mistakes, but there’s a fine line between “mistakes” and “screwing up.” So while that isn’t entirely on Ben, the Enji were/are pretty much complicit because they didn’t bother investigating the Grand Master’s son and his not-at-all subtle practices. Man, the Enji Knights’ medical plans must be terrible.

Chaotic Comedian and The Beyonder are trying really hard to compete for the status of Brad Fowltror’s clone.

“I never thought I had the sole right to decide who is good enough to live and who deserved to die!”

I’m pretty sure his original vision entailed this. The plan crafted by The Angels inspired Ben to adopt a “convert by the sword” ultimatum. He is either in denial or he is horribly naïve. My bet is on the former.

He addresses this when he says he realized he would have been no better than Kira, but the fact that it took Doug Fitter to jump to such an extreme to get Ben to see this makes it quite evident that Ben Auro was originally all for this plan and just accepted it as “the new law of the land” without question. So yes, Ben Auro did have those intentions.

“Even if people can betray me, if I betray them first out of fear of that then I will be giving up on those bonds!”

Ben Auro really needs to work on how he words his responses. This implies that betraying another isn’t out of the realm of possibility for him.

Now that the dark sides are conquered, I guess all that's left is the big bad himself.
6/8/2019 c47 Deez Fitz
This one was better. Fitter flat out admitting his wrongdoings and working to right them was a lot better than what we got last chapter from Ben Auro vs Mira. You tend to do a good job when balancing out goods and bads for that character. Ben Auro could afford to learn a lesson or two of humility him, which says a lot.

I see Mira is trying to be like Emery, lol. Not quite how that power works, but imitation is a cute form of flattery.


Also just so you know? It's "Cumber" not "Cunber."

Alright, time to get all caught up.
6/8/2019 c46 Deez Fitz
“It’s not like it was all my idea, I keep telling people it was the best chance to(for?) peace all of the most intelligent people in the universe could think of as the best idea for lasting universal peace!”

This looks really bad on Ben Auro’s behalf that he was so gung ho for this, and is basically trying to save face when that kind of response makes him look worse. Mira is correct.

“I’m not about to act like I’m the most charismatic guy around, but just telling people what they want to hear does not always mean they are the friendliest person!”

It’s interesting that Ben would say this, because he is exactly the type of person who gets angry when he gets told what he needs to hear. In just about every instance Ben has expressed his views in this sequel, he believes “what others need to hear” doubles as what he wants others to hear.

There’s still no real reason for the reader to cheer him on at this point since he has yet to come up with a viable alternative.

Kira ceased his Hakai when Zamasu grabbed Lacus? That’s surprising, as he couldn’t care less about her. That scene where Lacus tricked Zamasu was unbelievably cringey too.

Time see what Auro and Fitter are up against in the next installment.
5/27/2019 c48 Piccolo Sky
Chaotic Comedian seemed to go down a little too easy for this to be the end of him, considering all the other fights, escapes, and things he's shrugged off until now... Of course, all the Beyonder has to do is want it and immediately he would regenerate all of the opponents they just killed, so ease is kind of moot. :P

A bit curious about how a final battle will go. One would think the Beyonder would only humor them until they ended up actually inflicting a bit of real pain. Then he'd simply erase them from existence with a thought, once the "game" was no longer any fun.

Of course, I'm not entirely convinced the final battle starts in the next chapter. The way things have been playing out, I'm kind of expecting him to start a new "round" with another set of opponents. :P

See you next chapter. :)
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