for The Legend of Zelda: Shards of the Rose2/17/2018 c8 lafgfjhoujnyte
I seriously got chills when reading Naru’s surprise plot twist. Seriously, your writing is superb. It evokes so much emotion! So many twists and turns. I am definitely loving every little word. The characters! The plot! The setting and imagery! Even the symbolism. I can’t wait to read more but alas... I have midterms. :( I managed to finish a chapter... one day I’ll finish it all once I have the chance! Anyways, here’s some of my pondering and reactions:
I really want to see some jealousy in Zelda. There was a snippet during the healing session. Perhaps you’ll go more in depth on that sub-plot later.
The mythology is so wonderfully thought out. I like how all the games are connected to each other, and that the gods are angered by the lack of faith from the people. I have a feeling Daphnes’s tyranny assisted in that aided by his constant berating and mistreatment of Hylia in the flesh.
I hypothesize Daphnes as a villain will be further exacerbated. He’s either a mastermind or assistant in the dark plot of Hyrule’s Demise. Or he’s dead. That could be another plot route and offers an opportunistic chance of character development for Zelda. She had a snippet here already. He was once a loving father. I’m curious as to how he got so corrupt now. He’s been my least favourite character so far. If you somehow make him loveable in the past so that readers can be empathetic to his evil deeds then that is a serious writing feat.
~ A.S.
I seriously got chills when reading Naru’s surprise plot twist. Seriously, your writing is superb. It evokes so much emotion! So many twists and turns. I am definitely loving every little word. The characters! The plot! The setting and imagery! Even the symbolism. I can’t wait to read more but alas... I have midterms. :( I managed to finish a chapter... one day I’ll finish it all once I have the chance! Anyways, here’s some of my pondering and reactions:
I really want to see some jealousy in Zelda. There was a snippet during the healing session. Perhaps you’ll go more in depth on that sub-plot later.
The mythology is so wonderfully thought out. I like how all the games are connected to each other, and that the gods are angered by the lack of faith from the people. I have a feeling Daphnes’s tyranny assisted in that aided by his constant berating and mistreatment of Hylia in the flesh.
I hypothesize Daphnes as a villain will be further exacerbated. He’s either a mastermind or assistant in the dark plot of Hyrule’s Demise. Or he’s dead. That could be another plot route and offers an opportunistic chance of character development for Zelda. She had a snippet here already. He was once a loving father. I’m curious as to how he got so corrupt now. He’s been my least favourite character so far. If you somehow make him loveable in the past so that readers can be empathetic to his evil deeds then that is a serious writing feat.
~ A.S.
2/9/2018 c15 Donald J. Trump
The pesky Twilight invasion would have never happened should Hyruke have a stricter foreign policy and a GREAT wall.
Trust me, it’s true.
The pesky Twilight invasion would have never happened should Hyruke have a stricter foreign policy and a GREAT wall.
Trust me, it’s true.
1/29/2018 c16 Kersplunk
Every chapter just makes love Naru even more, she’s the best and since the goddesses are complete opposites of their divine selves; Naryu is somewhat childish and Farore is a coward then Din must be weak?
Every chapter just makes love Naru even more, she’s the best and since the goddesses are complete opposites of their divine selves; Naryu is somewhat childish and Farore is a coward then Din must be weak?
1/29/2018 c16 
24Generala
Well, feelings are not rational nor logical. They make the most reasonable of humans in a mess.
Zelda may have wisdom, she rules with it, but when it comes to her own feelings she doesn't know what to do. That's normal. She is still young.
OHmaan... I knew Dark would use anything to get at Link, knowing that both are connected in some way. I think the most difficult thing is accept we have that little monster of us inside. Stephen King said that 'Monsters and ghost exist, inside us, and sometimes they win'.
24GeneralaWell, feelings are not rational nor logical. They make the most reasonable of humans in a mess.
Zelda may have wisdom, she rules with it, but when it comes to her own feelings she doesn't know what to do. That's normal. She is still young.
OHmaan... I knew Dark would use anything to get at Link, knowing that both are connected in some way. I think the most difficult thing is accept we have that little monster of us inside. Stephen King said that 'Monsters and ghost exist, inside us, and sometimes they win'.
1/29/2018 c16 Ripple
Awww, your comment made me blush. And Dark killed Ganondorf? And he has an internal conflict?! I can't wait for next month! I'm also overjoyed that Zelda seems to be doing better this chapter! She's grown from a submissive, haunted person into someone who can fight off her ghosts! Also, I used Shards as an example of an extended metaphor... it's not as much anymore, but near the beginning you represented Link with the Sun and Zelda as the Rose. I really liked that, and it sort of stuck. Thanks again for your hard work on this!
Awww, your comment made me blush. And Dark killed Ganondorf? And he has an internal conflict?! I can't wait for next month! I'm also overjoyed that Zelda seems to be doing better this chapter! She's grown from a submissive, haunted person into someone who can fight off her ghosts! Also, I used Shards as an example of an extended metaphor... it's not as much anymore, but near the beginning you represented Link with the Sun and Zelda as the Rose. I really liked that, and it sort of stuck. Thanks again for your hard work on this!
1/29/2018 c15 1Lollie. T. M
I ACTUALLY CHEERED WHEN LINK PUNCHED DARK IN THE FACE!
I'm so sorry I never got to review your last chapter (life happens and it suuuucks) but I'm so SO Happy I was free to review this one because HOLY SMOKES!
The Professor! Oh the Professor, poor Edwyn! His story made my heart ache. The prejudice Lelain faced from the Hylians and their secret wedding. They went through so much all for her to pass on and leave him alone (save for Fuana but now she's leaving and OH MAN I'M CRYING)
also Loving Naru's speech about how family is people you love, it's not necessarily born from blood. Edwyn is still her father no matter what (It's an interesting parallel. Edwyn who loves his daughter so much yet shares no blood with her vs the King who shares his blood with Zelda and yet is just vile)
Link once again proves himself to be the BEST big brother in the history of the universe. I love the way you write him and Naru, they're relationship feels so real and loving and you can tell he adores that little girl with all his heart! And I love his interactions with Fuana (her little crush on him is so cute in the same way Zelda's is heartbreaking) funny how he seems semi aware of Fuana's affections and yet is so oblivious to Zeldas hmmmmm
THE MASTER SWORD! MY DARLING IS BACK!
Could the reunion have felt bland to Link because there is so little darkness in him now? When he first wielded her, he was a being a twilight. Dark magic was in his bones and the blade of evils bane purified him to an extent. Now his inner darkness is running around killing of Gerudo kings and carving sacrilegious symbols into princess's thighs.
"We are the same coin, different faces" - oooh chills
which brings me onto my fave part. DARK VS LINK: FARON WOOD EDITION! (I think my fave parts are always when Zelda and Link "flirt" and when Dark shows up and is just utterly reprehensible)
I. Love. Your. Characterization. Of. Dark. Link.
I've said it before but like... DAMN IT'S GOOD! You've made him into a character we can really love to hate! He's amoral, viscous, scheming, destructive. I love him but GOD I wanna hit him with a car. Especially after what he said to Link about Zelda (AAAAAA Dialogue, I'm always a fan of double entendre and the phrase "she sounds better when she's screaming" murdered me in cold blood)
Dark tends to know exactly how to rile Link up. He didn't even see Link's vision when they were lost in the woods, and yet he still knows that the way to make Link mad is to insult Zelda or gloat like "I got to sleep with her and you didn't ha ha ha" and it always WORKS! Link's so ready to defend his Princess even if it means getting his ass kicked by his own shadow!
Ooooh wait. How is he going to fight with the Master Sword if it just makes Dark stronger? Oh shit.
"she believed she had reached a point that -even though not out loud- she could admit that, despite the tragedy around her, she had fallen in love with the Hero of Twilight" I am gone. She's finally admitted it to herself! Now is this going to cause her more pain when she thinks about him and Midna or is it a path to the two finding some happiness in each other. Because it's pretty obvious to everyone (except Zelda) that Link has fallen for her also. And by the way he attacks Dark (punching him in the face 3) we can guess that he's fallen hard.
I am counting down the days till your next update! And I hope your mouth feels better soon x
Keep up the incredible work xxx
1Lollie. T. MI ACTUALLY CHEERED WHEN LINK PUNCHED DARK IN THE FACE!
I'm so sorry I never got to review your last chapter (life happens and it suuuucks) but I'm so SO Happy I was free to review this one because HOLY SMOKES!
The Professor! Oh the Professor, poor Edwyn! His story made my heart ache. The prejudice Lelain faced from the Hylians and their secret wedding. They went through so much all for her to pass on and leave him alone (save for Fuana but now she's leaving and OH MAN I'M CRYING)
also Loving Naru's speech about how family is people you love, it's not necessarily born from blood. Edwyn is still her father no matter what (It's an interesting parallel. Edwyn who loves his daughter so much yet shares no blood with her vs the King who shares his blood with Zelda and yet is just vile)
Link once again proves himself to be the BEST big brother in the history of the universe. I love the way you write him and Naru, they're relationship feels so real and loving and you can tell he adores that little girl with all his heart! And I love his interactions with Fuana (her little crush on him is so cute in the same way Zelda's is heartbreaking) funny how he seems semi aware of Fuana's affections and yet is so oblivious to Zeldas hmmmmm
THE MASTER SWORD! MY DARLING IS BACK!
Could the reunion have felt bland to Link because there is so little darkness in him now? When he first wielded her, he was a being a twilight. Dark magic was in his bones and the blade of evils bane purified him to an extent. Now his inner darkness is running around killing of Gerudo kings and carving sacrilegious symbols into princess's thighs.
"We are the same coin, different faces" - oooh chills
which brings me onto my fave part. DARK VS LINK: FARON WOOD EDITION! (I think my fave parts are always when Zelda and Link "flirt" and when Dark shows up and is just utterly reprehensible)
I. Love. Your. Characterization. Of. Dark. Link.
I've said it before but like... DAMN IT'S GOOD! You've made him into a character we can really love to hate! He's amoral, viscous, scheming, destructive. I love him but GOD I wanna hit him with a car. Especially after what he said to Link about Zelda (AAAAAA Dialogue, I'm always a fan of double entendre and the phrase "she sounds better when she's screaming" murdered me in cold blood)
Dark tends to know exactly how to rile Link up. He didn't even see Link's vision when they were lost in the woods, and yet he still knows that the way to make Link mad is to insult Zelda or gloat like "I got to sleep with her and you didn't ha ha ha" and it always WORKS! Link's so ready to defend his Princess even if it means getting his ass kicked by his own shadow!
Ooooh wait. How is he going to fight with the Master Sword if it just makes Dark stronger? Oh shit.
"she believed she had reached a point that -even though not out loud- she could admit that, despite the tragedy around her, she had fallen in love with the Hero of Twilight" I am gone. She's finally admitted it to herself! Now is this going to cause her more pain when she thinks about him and Midna or is it a path to the two finding some happiness in each other. Because it's pretty obvious to everyone (except Zelda) that Link has fallen for her also. And by the way he attacks Dark (punching him in the face 3) we can guess that he's fallen hard.
I am counting down the days till your next update! And I hope your mouth feels better soon x
Keep up the incredible work xxx
1/29/2018 c16 13Ultimate blazer
Naru is too cute and Fuana is too funny XD
I hope Link and Zelda can have a serious conversation about their feelings.
Theory: Din will be a weak and depressed girl.
13Ultimate blazerNaru is too cute and Fuana is too funny XD
I hope Link and Zelda can have a serious conversation about their feelings.
Theory: Din will be a weak and depressed girl.
1/20/2018 c6 lafgfjhoujnyte
Darn! Tricked by a daydreaming kiss. Too bad it wasn’t a reality. I was hoping for it to be real. It would’ve been a perfect moment and a perfect end to a perfect evening! It still creates a window to Zelda’s mind. She clearly likes him romantically and wishes for something more with the Hero. I’m here hoping that they’ll eventually have a moment like that for real this time.
Naru is strange. I can’t help but wonder what direction you’ll take with this new character. She seems to be wiser than her peers, deciding to become a religious person isn’t something you see often in youngsters.
Can’t wait to read about Shad and Ashei’s wedding. Honestly, the way you’ve written all the characters, even the minor ones, are so perfect I can definitely see this as an official sequel or ending / epilogue to the game! :)
Great writing; superb characterizations; pretty visuals! 10/10 chapter :D (but all these chapters are like that lol!)
~ A.S.
Darn! Tricked by a daydreaming kiss. Too bad it wasn’t a reality. I was hoping for it to be real. It would’ve been a perfect moment and a perfect end to a perfect evening! It still creates a window to Zelda’s mind. She clearly likes him romantically and wishes for something more with the Hero. I’m here hoping that they’ll eventually have a moment like that for real this time.
Naru is strange. I can’t help but wonder what direction you’ll take with this new character. She seems to be wiser than her peers, deciding to become a religious person isn’t something you see often in youngsters.
Can’t wait to read about Shad and Ashei’s wedding. Honestly, the way you’ve written all the characters, even the minor ones, are so perfect I can definitely see this as an official sequel or ending / epilogue to the game! :)
Great writing; superb characterizations; pretty visuals! 10/10 chapter :D (but all these chapters are like that lol!)
~ A.S.
1/15/2018 c5 lafgfjhoujnyte
Hmm... something tells me the little girl with blue hair is Nayru in the flesh just like how Zelda is Hylia in the flesh...
Curious to see what direction you’ll take with this. Most strange indeed!
-A.S.
Hmm... something tells me the little girl with blue hair is Nayru in the flesh just like how Zelda is Hylia in the flesh...
Curious to see what direction you’ll take with this. Most strange indeed!
-A.S.
1/14/2018 c4 lafgfjhoujnyte
Huh. I don’t see this much as filler at all but mostly as world building, as you said, but this is very important to me as a reader to be deemed as filler anyhow. Their little outing filled me with such joy; I continued to grin sillily while reading this on the subway. How wonderful their relationship is! Its just soooo fluffy but heartwarming and also a bit serious too, though they don’t delve in the complicated stuff, respecting each other’s boundaries.
I am very much so enjoying my reading thus far. Such quality writing is rare these days. I am so happy to stumble across this yesterday! Though rather unhappy too. Each time I attempt to study I always find myself grabbing my laptop to get a quick read in here and there. That’s how amazing your writing is; captivating and spell-binding!
I wish fanfiction had a bookmark system. Alas, I tend to remember well where I last left off thanks to italicized flashbacks and the three dots indicating a page break.
Looking forward to read the rest! :) the characters are so alive and refreshing with your unique perspective, twists and writing of them. . even the littlest nods to the games are unique. Such attention to detail is rare in an author, and yours is very good to down to the very minute facts of TP! As a gaming nerd, I appreciate that :D
~ A. Serenade
Huh. I don’t see this much as filler at all but mostly as world building, as you said, but this is very important to me as a reader to be deemed as filler anyhow. Their little outing filled me with such joy; I continued to grin sillily while reading this on the subway. How wonderful their relationship is! Its just soooo fluffy but heartwarming and also a bit serious too, though they don’t delve in the complicated stuff, respecting each other’s boundaries.
I am very much so enjoying my reading thus far. Such quality writing is rare these days. I am so happy to stumble across this yesterday! Though rather unhappy too. Each time I attempt to study I always find myself grabbing my laptop to get a quick read in here and there. That’s how amazing your writing is; captivating and spell-binding!
I wish fanfiction had a bookmark system. Alas, I tend to remember well where I last left off thanks to italicized flashbacks and the three dots indicating a page break.
Looking forward to read the rest! :) the characters are so alive and refreshing with your unique perspective, twists and writing of them. . even the littlest nods to the games are unique. Such attention to detail is rare in an author, and yours is very good to down to the very minute facts of TP! As a gaming nerd, I appreciate that :D
~ A. Serenade
1/14/2018 c3 lafgfjhoujnyte
Yesssssss what a perfect ending to a lovely chapter. Such a shame I have to study now rather than continue on Zelda’s journey. I realllllly like this story; it’s so perfect in all aspects. No fillers. Every word has a purpose, and it works very well for readers with a lack of attention... such as me ;) xD
Impaz is a fiery little spirit. To make a minor character in TP and flesh her out and make her alive but somehow still eerily staying in character is amazing. Great job!
I have to say Zelda is my favourite character so far. Impaz is a close second but might be replaced with Link... I haven’t seen much with him as of yet but I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful portrayal just as you have done with Zelda’s. Your incarnation of her is wonderful and spot on to what I imagined she’d be in actual the TP world. Too bad she had limited screen time. I find her to be one of the most compelling Zeldas out there; perhaps because she’s the most mature of the bunch and her age is the oldest (young twenties or so).
As always, the world you’ve built is rich and complex. I like the hearings she had; it shows Hyrules larger workings. The religion aspect is interesting and has a play in the plot. Can’t wait to see what happens next! :)
~A.S.
Yesssssss what a perfect ending to a lovely chapter. Such a shame I have to study now rather than continue on Zelda’s journey. I realllllly like this story; it’s so perfect in all aspects. No fillers. Every word has a purpose, and it works very well for readers with a lack of attention... such as me ;) xD
Impaz is a fiery little spirit. To make a minor character in TP and flesh her out and make her alive but somehow still eerily staying in character is amazing. Great job!
I have to say Zelda is my favourite character so far. Impaz is a close second but might be replaced with Link... I haven’t seen much with him as of yet but I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful portrayal just as you have done with Zelda’s. Your incarnation of her is wonderful and spot on to what I imagined she’d be in actual the TP world. Too bad she had limited screen time. I find her to be one of the most compelling Zeldas out there; perhaps because she’s the most mature of the bunch and her age is the oldest (young twenties or so).
As always, the world you’ve built is rich and complex. I like the hearings she had; it shows Hyrules larger workings. The religion aspect is interesting and has a play in the plot. Can’t wait to see what happens next! :)
~A.S.
1/14/2018 c2 lafgfjhoujnyte
Soooo I’m guessing the Grandmother is OoT Zelda? Since the ocarina is here and all...
I’m very impressed with the writing. It flows so well. It’s also very concise and structured perfectly. The dialogue punctuation is off, however, but I can ignore it in favour of awesome characterization and nice metaphors and other fancy writing techniques. :)
~A.S.
Soooo I’m guessing the Grandmother is OoT Zelda? Since the ocarina is here and all...
I’m very impressed with the writing. It flows so well. It’s also very concise and structured perfectly. The dialogue punctuation is off, however, but I can ignore it in favour of awesome characterization and nice metaphors and other fancy writing techniques. :)
~A.S.
1/13/2018 c1 lafgfjhoujnyte
oh my God! This is just the type of story I’ve been looking for and dying to read! It’s got a romantic and poetic essence to it, as in the writing style is very individualistic, expressive and nerve-wrackingly emotional. Each step and journey the Rose takes is as if I’m there with her. .. every emotional strain she has, I have too. It’s so eloquent and stylish... I’m so in love with your writing style. The push and pull of present and past; damn! It’s so good!
I am awfully curious about the guard who visited her. At first thought, I was guessing Link... but now that I know he hasn’t seen her in a while, it’s probably a third wheel aka second romantic interest in a complex love triangle? No matter, the introduction was splendid indeed! I love how Impaz takes part in this. Interesting to see what role she plays in here.
The mileau is so immersive just by your descriptions alone. It makes for a quick paced and attention grabbing story. Was not bored notone bit but rather hooked on every word! (Again it might be your lovely writing style!)
It’s so very intriguing where you’ll take the aftermath of TP... I never imagined Zelda having a father. It’s something I’ve never read before so I’m excited to see where this will lead.
I am soooo looking forward to reading more. Wow, it’s really good. It reminds me of one of my favourite fan fictions too, Ever After. I hope you’ll finish this one unlike the aforementioned :)
~ A.S.
oh my God! This is just the type of story I’ve been looking for and dying to read! It’s got a romantic and poetic essence to it, as in the writing style is very individualistic, expressive and nerve-wrackingly emotional. Each step and journey the Rose takes is as if I’m there with her. .. every emotional strain she has, I have too. It’s so eloquent and stylish... I’m so in love with your writing style. The push and pull of present and past; damn! It’s so good!
I am awfully curious about the guard who visited her. At first thought, I was guessing Link... but now that I know he hasn’t seen her in a while, it’s probably a third wheel aka second romantic interest in a complex love triangle? No matter, the introduction was splendid indeed! I love how Impaz takes part in this. Interesting to see what role she plays in here.
The mileau is so immersive just by your descriptions alone. It makes for a quick paced and attention grabbing story. Was not bored notone bit but rather hooked on every word! (Again it might be your lovely writing style!)
It’s so very intriguing where you’ll take the aftermath of TP... I never imagined Zelda having a father. It’s something I’ve never read before so I’m excited to see where this will lead.
I am soooo looking forward to reading more. Wow, it’s really good. It reminds me of one of my favourite fan fictions too, Ever After. I hope you’ll finish this one unlike the aforementioned :)
~ A.S.
1/12/2018 c15 Ripple
Honestly, their relationship? I just can't wait to let them sit down and have a heart-to-heart and ease their anxieties. I do not think Zelda's fears are founded at all, as Link has shown to always watch out for her. Also, I just wanted to tell you that I totally used your work as an example for a literary device that I had to define and give an example of in English. Your work is just so poetic and beautiful, and you use literary devices to the fullest! Keep it up!
Honestly, their relationship? I just can't wait to let them sit down and have a heart-to-heart and ease their anxieties. I do not think Zelda's fears are founded at all, as Link has shown to always watch out for her. Also, I just wanted to tell you that I totally used your work as an example for a literary device that I had to define and give an example of in English. Your work is just so poetic and beautiful, and you use literary devices to the fullest! Keep it up!