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for Easier Said Than Done

4/26/2020 c23 12Keleri
I love all the trouble that V is getting because of Gengar, it seems so appealing to get a powerful pokemon but then everybody just gives you crap about it constantly :D lol

Poor Rosie, her mentorship for the younger girls is so valuable. It seems wasteful to make all these kids go out and train and then force them to cut off their relationships with their pokemon.
4/26/2020 c22 Keleri
Oh noooooo, Anabel and V's problems are way too real, it's hard negotiating these relationships haha.
4/26/2020 c21 Keleri
""Great, thank you. Your starters haven't been to a pokecenter since their pre-Journey check-up. These say the eevee were sold to you in mid-July, but you left Mauville mid-May." Catch, they could see all that? "This… this is the first time you show up at a pokecenter. Everything's going well?""

Oh ho ho ho, so many tales, poor girls

Oof, hunting for 6IV pokemon isn't as fun in real life, is it? :D Lots of good details here on the slog of trainer life.
4/26/2020 c20 Keleri
Scary! They could have been in a lot of trouble against the geodude! Really makes you stop and respect pokemon's power. Then again, they paid a high price for that little night raid.
4/26/2020 c19 Keleri
""Good morning. You have no badges and are in the wilds," the woman said crisply. "Could you confirm that you are travelling with experienced trainers?""

Very cool, I like that there are various attempts at safety for young trainers... and ways for it to go wrong, mua ha ha

""The tattoo's to remember that pokemon don't owe me scrap. That I've got to ask and listen.""

Woooow, Darren's story is obliterating. :( Would it that more trainers could learn that lesson without costing a pokemon's life

C'mon Seth, Hoenn is where double battles were invented- let the girls specialize in doubles :(

I liked the parallels between Anabel and V, and between them and their new pokemon in the last few chapters, they too have to negotiate this new relationship and it's not all roses. :)
4/26/2020 c18 Keleri
I love Gengar, the struggle to understand him and his ghostly alienness is too real. The kids' interactions are so realistic, it's easy to forget that they're middle- or elementary-schoolers when they're out there wielding all these balled demigods. :D
4/26/2020 c17 Keleri
Apologies for the extended absence, my life has been a trainwreck for the past uhhhhhhhh two years :D I recently set up time to read others' fanfics again and I'm almost to the end of Easier Said Than Done. I'll try to give you a few scattered thoughts about each chapter.

I really enjoy all the worldbuilding details about catching and training pokemon, developing relationships with them and forming a bond, it's frustrating, especially for kids like Anabel and V, but so necessary.
7/18/2018 c16 Keleri
""If they come out to battle and it's not territory defense… That's how they ask." Seth kept fiddling with his badges, as if to compensate for the fact he barely looked older than them. "Most just want a power boost. I freed my weezing in April. He'd figured he was strong enough. He wanted to go home.""

Nice, some justification for pokemon and their behavior, and free will to leave again.

""My boss, Ms. Buzz, gave me a list of pokemon to catch, and a list of moves to teach them and pass on to the next generation.""

Ho ho ho, child labor!

environment change triggers evolution"

em-dash at the end here: evolution—"

"Anabel victory…"

Anabel's

"She wassuddenly tempted to get away."

"but Sethcouldn'ttell her"

Missing spaces here.

Ha! Nice, I like the differences between the older trainers and their different motivations, and them teasing the younger kids is all too realistic. Some interesting details on team-building and what drives them to select different pokemon, too.
7/18/2018 c15 Keleri
"Mr. Cinders had said Gengar was older than anybody alive. He was different. He'd filled Valeria's mind with words as soon as that man had grabbed Ann, and everything had become easy."

Creepy! I'm glad Gengar's joined the party, he sounds awful. :D

"The fur-flames looked even better than in her eevee would look brilliant with some of those."

Sounds like you accidentally a few words here.

"Nova gave her a incredulous look and started to snicker. "He's twelve. I'm thirteen. He's a whole head shorter than me and he's…He's got…" she gasped for breath. "He's Seth. We're great friends.""

TEENAGERS. This is a great scene, it feels very genuine for everyone's ages. 8th graders seem impossibly mature to 10-year-olds, don't they? hahaha

At last V and Ann get their second chance! What a trial, and they don't even have a single badge yet!
7/18/2018 c14 Keleri
Wow! This chapter got terribly exciting. The fight was hard to follow but all too understandably from Anabel's POV. Scary!

"other arm umbled with the window handle."

*fumbled

"Behind V, the gengar's fangs stretched into an impossible grin and, more terrifying still, V shot him a small smile, as if he wasn't nightmarish mist and evil red eyes.

"You're free," V whispered, sweat running down her face. She took a shuddering breath and rushed towards Anabel.

A red-stained knife casually hanged from her left hand."

WELL THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY

"There was nothing funny about Mr. Cinders' smile. "You're going to tell some kids who've had them for months now, who evolved them and love them, that those pokemon aren't theirs?""

Ahahahah. Pokemon theft gets complicated!

"He chuckled, but his eyes weren't laughing. "What's done is done. This farm's my home. Couldn't do anything else. The pokemon don't get mistreated, not here, not after they leave, I promise that.""

Poor Mr. Sinister, things get complicated fast, don't they?

""You take the eevee say goodbye to Foxy."

*and say
7/18/2018 c13 Keleri
Mr. Cinders continues to be Mr. Sinister! I really like the look at higher-level battling in this chapter, there's a lot of room for pokemon to grow and develop as battlers.

"Trainers had freed some before, and the bunnelby had multiplied like lightning and wrecked a whole chunk of rainforest before Rangers had caught them all."

Nice, I like the ecological considerations for introducing foreign pokemon.

"Anabel was just happy that violent pokemon moves weren't nearly as violent when they were used against anything that wasn't a pokemon, and especially people."

Nice, I like this explanation for why pokemon can throw around all their attacks in buildings and there's seemingly no damage in the games, haha.

"Eeveevee was faster, a murky brown veil fell over her narrowed eyes. "Ee-vee-veeeeeee!""

Comma splice here, the comma needs to be a semicolon or a coordinating conjunction needs to come after the comma
5/24/2018 c38 BL00PER
When will you post the part two? :D
5/23/2018 c12 Keleri
""I'll send a card for congratulations, I guess," V grumbled as they passed the door. "She could have waited.""

That's right, she should have waited to hatch that egg!

"But then teenagers too old for journeys"

Interesting, the mysterious evolved form of the ten-year-old appears! They seem pretty hostile to a couple of fifth-graders, were they expecting something else?

"Poor Garchomp had been freed so long ago he'd forgotten everything."
"Some asshat power-trained a bunch and got bored. Why they didn't evolve… some pokemon just don't."

Interesting! Pokemon don't battle in the wild and forget their moves and strength? I like the idea of running into a trained pokemon in the wild randomly and getting wrecked too haha.

jynx rather than jinx here

"Got stolen right out of Rustboro," Nova finished, anger squaring her jaw. "Well, they traded me a lousy pidgeot for it, but they were many, and bigger than me. I was scared they'd beat me up if I said no. The Jennys weren't much help."

Innnnnnnnteresting. Who's 'they'?

""I got pokemon stolen twice." Darren cracked his knuckles. "Some people, they try to know fast when a good pokemon gets caught, before the pokemon gets loyal. Want others to do the searching and catching for them…"
"Got them back both times. Pokeballs have trackers." He looked so scary. "That second kid, they found him at the hospital with his leg all messed up. Moron stole the wrong ball and found himself with Tauros. Tauros wasn't happy.""

Ha! That would be a comedy of errors, trying to steal pokemon and ending up with someone's loyal and beloved pokemon. This is how stealing pokemon would work in my fanfic universe as well, it only works with a new caught pokemon who would turn around and be like "meh, okay" or even be impressed that the thief got one over the victim trainer.

Haha poor Ann, I remember being 10 and going from zero to mad at the older kids. All too characteristic of kids, well done.
5/23/2018 c11 Keleri
Some nice tense reveals in this chapter! I like how the two eevees have different personalities and how they test Ann and V like real animals. Baby pokemon needing time to grow up to a battle-ready level makes a lot of sense.

"V, hiring us, that… that's illegal."

Is it? Is it their ages? Is that why all the other places turned them down, or is it the terms of their employment that are sketchy?
5/23/2018 c10 Keleri
""Those aren't wild rattata. They're barely pokemon." Mr. Cinders soothed. "Look and taste the same, but the similarities end there. Speedies grow full-sized in a week and don't feel pain. No nerves. We've been breeding that line since long before the War and selecting against brains. If we freed them in the wilds, they'd run until they'd die of exhaustion.""

GRUESOME. I love it.

"Ditto forget like you and me. Practice's the only safeguard against mistakes."

Oh nice, I guess Ditto in the games are just a mirror to the other pokemon, but here they can transform into something rare if they have the DNA and pass it on.

""Saturday's game night, if I can-" He looked down abruptly and Anabel caught Mr. Cinders' glare."

(squints)

"Instead four ditto had changed."

Ha! That's great, I like the parallel to the real-life animals.

All that preparation and Ann and V still don't know that much about pokemon! I suppose the wilderness survival bits are more important.

""I'm sorry, Boss" Anabel whispered"

comma after 'boss'

You've spelled poliwag as 'polywag' a couple times at the end here.
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