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12/16/2020 c11 3GiveMeBackMyFreedomFandoms
This is so weird.
You posted a chapter to let us know about the chapter you changed to a notice to let us know that you won't be updating on this site but the ao3 version hasn't been updated since 2018.
12/16/2020 c10 AyameShirayuki
Really wanna hear about that whole booty calling and stuff. Who the heck even does that?
12/16/2020 c11 8W.I.T.C.H.-and-Naruto-Gurl
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, but I will keep an eye out for the update on ao3! I’m naruwitch on there! This story has great potential, and I’m glad to hear you’re still working on it!
5/8/2020 c10 5Kian Xki
And it was so interesting

One of the few stories that is not focused on adopting poor little harry
5/8/2020 c9 Kian Xki
lol

One of Monokuma's weakness is 'love'
5/8/2020 c7 Kian Xki
Master Piece!
5/8/2020 c6 Kian Xki
The way that you pictures magic leaves a wrong feeling

A magic shield will break from potency not quantity of blows

Everything bellow 'x' will be useless, everything above 'x' will get through

It is what makes muggle repellent so effective, i does not matter how many muggles you have, they have no magic so they can not get in the wizardry world

If you narrate the shots as coming so close with each other than the damage started to stack and eventually over came the barrier by overload then it makes sense

It is not wrong to give HP to your barrier but breaking something as epic as a magic barrier by merely throwing baseball balls leaves a wrong feeling

X

I think i like to complain

I am now seeking weak points!

Load Bullet!
Fire!
5/8/2020 c5 Kian Xki
When there is a smart question and you force the story away from it you are breaking the narrative

When your life could dependent in the answer you will get angry and shout

And let be honest, movie harry was not good in management of his mood and anger

'Could 2 accomplices get out by working together to kill 2 people?'

Yes/no

As part of your AU the question now exist and should have been answered earlier

X

In a story you should NEVER chose [wait] as your next move, it is the worst and most irrational option, even making a mistake and finding the bad end is better

If you force this choice with Author influence it only gets WORST

X

Sayaka took the kitchen for self defense - GOOD
Harry noticed the make up but didn't look closer - BAD
Harry saw Leon but he must have a nightmare - GOOD
Harry did not want to participate in the trial - BAD

X

And worst of all, the emotional wreck is Harry not Makoto, why the heck would harry shut up and let him do all the question

Kirigiri was that much of a b*tch, she was a side character who believed herself to be the hero, a more quiet version of Togami whose self imposed goal was to discover the Master Mind rather than get out

She was as bad as Celes but instead of money she wanted to solve Mysteries, she beloved that solving a mystery was more valuable than people's lives

Chapter 4 - used Makoto as bait for the Master Mind
Chapter 4 - used 'friendship' to extort your secret and broke it off you didn't tell her (got back to being buddy buddy whe she finally got it)
Chapter 5 - used you as bait (again)
Chapter 5 - threw you inder the buss to save her own hide instead of solving the problem instead of askong a very simple question "was Mukuro part of the game?"

This question was important for someone claiming to be the Ultimate Detective, after all Monokuma made you wait till everyone was there before the trial started

So, if Mukuro was part of the game why was she never in the trial room? or why didn't Monokuma bother with her photo when she 'died'?

Those minor things that Kyoko chose to ignore to instead kill off Naegi for stealing the spot light, one that she did not bother with outside of very dramatic moments (she hid evidence to reveal it latter)

Do you really want Harry to be like that?
5/8/2020 c3 Kian Xki
Games gave freedom that we lack, this is why sandbox are popular

When you gave hints but chose 'inaction' you are taking away points from the story

In Danganronpa it was particularly annoying when Makoto didn't do what i wanted him to do

It was not that he couldn't but that he CHOOSE to not do what i wanted that made him annoyance in some parts of the game

- i couldn't tell Sakura's secret to Kirigiri
- i couldn't visit the hidden room
- i couldn't stay in the control room and keep the Mastermind locked out
- i couldn't pilot Monokuma!

X

It is sometimes better to have a less powerful and less omniscient character than to have an omnipotent hero that will let everyone suffer

The reason weak idiot protagonist is so popular is that they always do their best

In One Punch Man for example Saitama is Strong enough to beat anyone with one punch but he is human, he is oblivious to most problems, has his own insignificant worries and cannot be everywhere at once

X

You've given hints but won't act on them

At least the few moments that you do can be treated as loading true bullets and the rest of the story makes up for it
8/1/2018 c4 1omegazeroinfi
my only question is how did she jump to the conclusion that she thought kyouko realized it was leon?
6/17/2018 c10 1setokayba2n
Waiting for the chapter then
6/16/2018 c10 James Birdsong
Good nine chapters
4/10/2018 c9 Guest
Are you going to make new chapters soon of the story soon
3/23/2018 c1 Celaena007
I really love this story and the idea behind it
Please continue.
1/8/2018 c9 Axel Fones
I'm still stuck that Dobby died. Way to hit it where it hurts lol :(
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