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4/13/2017 c15 7TortoisetheStoryteller
I love how yo've taken the timeline and jumbled it all up. This ending scene is fantastic!
4/9/2017 c15 388fiesa
Rogue One is dead, long live Rogue One :)

It feels like that, a little bit. The original one is dead, and the one that was formed after Eadu. But it's been reborn, now. Anyway.

I'm a bit confused about the shift. Jyn knew about the Death Star and told Cassian, giving him, essentially, the information he wanted. So he let her leave. Then Mon Mothma ordered them back, so they kidnapped her and brought her to Haven, and she told them about the seven pieces. And suddenly, there is the Jyn that believes in the rebellion, in the cause, who is able to rally enough people to go on what feels like a hopeless quest? Did she simply stop running because she realized she wouldn't be able to do it on her own, or because she knew from that moment on she'd be too deply involved with the resistance and, in order to protect herself, would need to form an alliance with the resistance? She says she cannot be caught between the lines in a war zone, so she has to pick a side. But why the resistance? And hasn't she already chosen when she decided to go after the other pieces of the construction plans all by herself?

Anyway, it was great to hear her trying to rally the troops, the speech on rebellions that are built on hope, and that ships in the hangar are only safe until the storm comes. Especially the latter shows unmistakeably that she has accepted the fact that she cannot run away all the time but has to make a stand, right now.

I very much loved the fact that she was searching for Cassian, hoping to see him on her side. And he came, didn't he?

Now you have Jyn, Cassian, Bodhy and Baze more or less at the point where the movie has them before they go to Scarif: a handful of rebels, a blind man, a soldier, a spy, a pilot and an orphan. And Kay-Tu, because, each paragraph from his point of view is a treat.

Thank you for this chapter! I'm looking forward to knowing what will happen next... One down, six to go, isn't it :)
3/21/2017 c14 Moniecat
I'm digging this story. You have humor, bitterness, sarcasm, hate and comradery all tied together. The inner monologue is great.
3/13/2017 c14 fiesa
A beauty of a chapter, really. The only qualms I have is that Jyn actually kills the security man, and doesn't think much about it, but that's the way she is. Why should she feel guilt, too.

Thanks for the extra long chapter! It had plenty of nice, calm scenes - the waking-up scene and the caf were really, really good - and some action - the fight - and some good-bye. And some moments for people to regret, to wonder, to doubt and to hesitate, and, in other moments, not to hesitate.

OH, the other scene I really liked? The "confession" scene when they think they are done for. It was refreshing.

Is she really going to leave? Are you, Jyn? Can you? But it's logical, really. She survived so much, saw so many people die. She was lonely all her life, and currently, the presence of all the others does nothing to make her want to stay. That's sad, but I hope it will change sometime, and perhaps some time soon.

I'm also enjoying the conversations between Bodhi and Cassian quite a lot. For one, because it is Bodhi who appeals to Cassian, and not the other way round. Usually, Cassian wants to make people see his side, or anything else he thinks is right... But not here.

Why is it that fandom likes to make Baze a cook, or at least someone who has a hand for culinary aspects? I like it, it's a lot of fun to read, too, but I really wonder why? Does he look like he'd be a good cook? Either way, I'm sure his dinner was delicious

Thank you for this chapter! Even if the next one takes some time, you're totally right: this is a place that would be damn hard to end something in. So we'll be patient. Good luck with your exams!
3/13/2017 c13 fiesa
Huh! I like this!

But, first off, thanks for the update! And, because I'm such a terribly slow reader when it comes to fan fiction, I get two chapters at once :) Nice.

As I said, I like how this chapter turned out, in the end. Cassian being on just another mission with them in Cloud City felt... hm, it felt sad. Because he never can put aside the Alliance, same as Jyn can never put aside her parents, and... It's sad. Natural, yes, but sad. Because they could be friends, but not this way.

While I love all these characters - you write them really, really well - Bodhi is this chapter's star. Talking to Cassian, pushing a bit, then showing his understanding, begging him and ordering him around. He seems to know how both Jyn and Cassian feel, and, even more, can understand their motives. I like how he says Jyn is lonely but doesn't want to be, and he grasped it well, too: if Cassian tries to use her again, she won't ever trust anyone again. The most memorable quote of this chapter was "So for once in your life, Cassian, be a rebel", and Force, I hope he listens.

Aside from that, I liked Chirrut and Baze in this chapter. They seem like side characters, except they aren't. And Jyn... I hope she will feel better again sometime, someday. Somehow.
3/11/2017 c14 7TortoisetheStoryteller
You are tearing out my heart and leaving it on the ground.
3/11/2017 c14 Capsassian
Aweh, lovely chapter! Absolute cliffhanger for me, I'm constantly wondering what's going to happen to Jyn while she's "hiding" on the planet.
3/7/2017 c13 TortoisetheStoryteller
Fantastic stuff here. It's nice to see a mostly-together Bodhi.
3/2/2017 c12 388fiesa
It's getting cold in here :)

Thank you for the update! It was good, as the chapters before were. I like your way of switching between the characters, though - or probably especially because - sometimes it's hard to say who's who. Having Baze have a part is appreciated. Mostly, he gets the supporting role.

Currently, Jyn is a person I wouldn't want to be friends with. I think Draven summarizes it well: she only cared for herself and her father before, now she cares for nobody. She wouldn't mind if she wasn't with Bodhi, CHirrut and the others. She wouldn't mind if the Empire squashed the Alliance or the Alliance went and killed more people. And that's... That's difficult to stomach. ALso because Bodhi and the others care for her.

Is there another reason why Mon Monthma feels so much guilt over the Erso's fates? She's the leader of a rebellion, she should be used to having to deal out orders that could and will kill people. Just because the Alliance is responsible for Lyra's death? Because she corresponded with Galen? Did I miss something? Maybe. Either way, it's paradox that a leader like her would care for the small people working under her. At least that's what I think. At the same time, I don't dislike her for that. It makes her more human, definitely. Quite like the diary entries from the last chapter.

To Bespin it is, then!

Thank you for the update, and for sharing this story here! Reading it is a joy, too! :)
2/25/2017 c12 Capsassian
Way to excited for the next chapter! Things are going to get interesting :))
2/19/2017 c11 fiesa
I want to say Welcome Back Jyn all the time reading this chapter, but that's the problem, isn't it: she's not back. In a way, that hurts: the fact that she hasn't given a thought for Chirrut, Baze and Bodhi at all, that these people mean nothing to her. That she doesn't care where she is as long as those looking for her can't find her. That she has closed herself off so completely and utterly. No person should be all by himself, except if self-chosen, and I don't get the feeling Jyn /wants/ to be all by herself. She just doesn't want Cassian and the others around. It makes me sad because there could be so much more between them: friendship and trust, and more. But there isn't. ANd I don't want to say "isn't yet", because I have no idea whatsoever where you will be going with this :) And that, in itself, is a lot of fun.

So they're going to Cloud City next? Hmmm...

The second part of this chapter gave an interesting, in-depth description of Jyn's character, and some of it surely is accurate. Mon Mothma didn't become a figurehead of the Alliance for nothing, of course. It's ironic how it overlaps with Krennic's thoughts on Galen and Jyn Erso (and Lyra, too). Two sides, both with their opinion on a person who could become vital for either Rebellion or Empire. At least, that's what I read from the paragraph: Mon Mothma more or less predicts it openly for Jyn and the Rebellion, and Krennik doesn't say anything concrete but I think he has his own thoughts.

Oh, and I like how the blaster makes a re-appearance.

Thank you for sharing this story here! I'm always looking forward to seeing what you planned next for the characters.
2/12/2017 c10 fiesa
This chapter explains a lot!

While I still can't quite see behind Jyn's reasoning, but still. I like the way you switch between perspectives, so much that I don't even mind reading a paragraph from the antagonist's point of view. Krennic, in this case. He is interesting in his own right, willing to overlook Jyn's obvious ties to the Alliance because he knew her father and respected him. I don't like him, but I don't /dislike/ him, either. (If that makes sense?)

I was floundering a bit. Jyn saw Cassian and Kay-Tu on Scarif but gave them enough time to finish their job, and then warned the Imperials so she and Krennic could get off-planet before everything went to hell? At least that's what I understood. Hm.

I don't know if the Alliance officers Moran and Elohim (whom I guess is the other one mentioned in the previous chapters, as one of the two Rebels who were taken onboard of the Death Star) are canon or not, but I like the story you've given them. Especially Moran's part of it was interesting. Not a typical Rebel, either, one of the righteous, loyal idealists but more like Cassian (a realist) and equally willing to protect the only thing that is left to her with all the power she has. But other than Cassian, that one thing is not the Rebellion. Interesting indeed.

The last paragraph once again is my favorite one. Closeness can be a cage, sometimes soothing, sometimes threatening. What will you do next, Jyn? What will happen next? And will you merge it into the canon plot, or draw around it, or change it? I am looking forward to the next chapter, whenever it might come. Thank you for sharing this story here - it is wonderful.
2/12/2017 c9 fiesa
Huh. That was quick. I expected at least three more attempts from Cassian's side to win her over, but perhaps the assassin made Jyn make up her mind more quickly.

Or she is a spy for the Empire now.



Anyway. I like the way the chapter began - with the flashback, the memory, the dream. ALl of it. And the way it turns into a nightmare, that makes her leave her house and visit the cemetery. ANd I certainly wouldn't have expected Cassian to be there, but it was - fitting. Everything fits. I really like that.

Also, the fact that he was promoted to Major, but none of his team calls him by his correct rank. And that he doesn't mind and thinks they're the good thing that came from Operation Fracture. The banter and the short light-heartedness was calming, though I wonder why he would help Chirrut in their sabbacc game? Because it would be far more beneficiary to help Bodhi, and because Chirrut surely doesn't need any help to win (are they using a marked deck? Or are there sabbacc cards in Braille? Is there something like Braille in the SW universe? )

And, in the end, Jyn decided to go with him. It does feel a bit abrupt, but then, she's had a year to think it over. Maybe she really wants to go with Cassian, maybe she just sees no other choice. But I think the greatest argument for her decision is the one in the end of this chapter: there's nobody at fault that she lost so much of her life. Yes, the Alliance caused some of her losses, and the Empire did, equally. But Jyn has a say in that, too. She made decisions, she must live with the consequences. She cannot blame Empire and Alliance for everything and forever.

And here's where the interesting part starts, I suppose.

Thank you for another chapter! This story is really, really good, and I am enjoying every bit of it. Thanks for sharing it.
2/12/2017 c8 fiesa
This took a very interesting turn!

In the movie, Jyn's step from being impartial to actively becoming an Alliance member is very fast, in my opinion. I know she had the incentive - her father's death. Still. It seems rash and somewhat forced to me. But then, there is only so much time in a movie to fit the plot into, and I don't mind it.

But you gave a little twist to the story - and the entire outcome is different. Intriguing, and it is making me wonder where you will be taking it.

My favorite part, I think, is he part in which Galen Erso realizes Jyn and Cassian know each other and dislike each other, and would have wished for them to like each other. Another quite impressive part was Jyn's and Cassian's conversation after Galen's death. And as a really nice plot twist, Krennic's behavior towards Jyn, and his resulting patronage.

More reasons for Jyn to hate the Alliance.

But still, my favorite part was the last paragraph which sped through the developments between Jyn leaving and the Death Star's destruction. Short, to-the-point, and, as it summarizes the events, it also opens up new venues for possible future events. I'm looking forward to see what else you have planned.

Thank you for sharing this story here!
2/12/2017 c7 fiesa
Umm. Is something wrong with my computer, or is this the same as ch. 6? I'm going to check it out on a different device. The title is different, but the content is the same?
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