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10/28/2019 c14 KiritowithDestiny
This was great i'm not if you will ever see this but I do hope this gets continued because it is nice to not have it following kirito for once
3/15/2017 c14 Mernom
Unless you changed it, the SAO source code was destroyed when it was cleared. Another thing is that the SAO survivors usually avoided talking about it,but since in this case Aki and Nari are together, and since their family is not exactly the model of following Japanese social norms, I can see that happening. I do wonder what will you do with the Fairy Dance arc... Is it STL based too? If not, Nira is in for a surprise.
3/15/2017 c14 Mernom
Unless you changed it, the SAO source code was destroyed when it was cleared. Another thing is that the SAO survivors usually avoided talking about it,but since in this case Aki and Nari are together, and since their family is not exactly the model of following Japanese social norms, I can see that happening. I do wonder what will you do with the Fairy Dance arc... Is it STL based too? If not, Nira is in for a surprise.
3/10/2017 c13 Mernom
Kayaba and Heathcliff being separate people... I actually started entering the possibility as I was reading this chapter. The idea could be interesting, write an SAO fic, have your readers expect canon, then drop that bomb. I'm putting this in my wishlist. It's too bad that you run out of steam for this story, but that shit happens. At least you're going to finish it instead of leaving it hanging... Good luck with whatever project you decide to take on next.
3/6/2017 c12 Mernom
First of all, I'll answer your question. That girl is a character from the upcoming SAO movie, Ordinal Scale. I don't remember her name, but I do remember that she's 'the world's first AI Idol'. You can probably find more info in the wikia about the movie. As for the chapter, it wasn't that good. The fight seems uninvolved, like you simply read someone describing what he sees on a screen. It doesn't work well for a written story. As for the 'plot twist', you resolved to too fast I think. You could milk it much more, maybe with him taking Akari hostage or something. I'm sorry I can't really give you tips on how to improve it, but I still didn't get around to start writing so my experience is zero.
2/12/2017 c11 Mernom
The quest lore was somewhat bland, but I guess that was intentional. As for the gear, I'd say it's not too overpowered... Although the bow functioning as a remote healing weapon might effect the game balance. The sword of black is a bit too complicated, I'd say that you should stick with two mods.
2/11/2017 c10 Harmony-Caprice
Plz update
2/9/2017 c9 Mernom
Huh. So the nerve gear is STL based here? That explains the incarnate abilities... Nice fights overall, not perfect but probably better than anything I could cook up.
2/8/2017 c10 Mernom
This chapter was OK, I guess. The part where Nira explained incarnate was a little dull, but otherwise interesting. And yeah, the hint was too obvious.
2/4/2017 c9 9Brendanjoke
Sooooo... It's been a long long time since I've read the aliciazation arc. But I'm going out on a limb to say that Nira's unique skill is either the time piercing sword's ability or the fragrant olive branch's ability.
2/3/2017 c8 6FailtasticBelt
Would highly recommend you not feel rushed with this :o

if you really had that many ailments, give it a day. Trust me, it'll help you focus better.

Some grammar and dialogue errors. Otherwise it's alright, don't rush it!
2/3/2017 c8 Mernom
A cristmas party with the strongest players in the game... Quite a funny event if I may say so.
1/30/2017 c7 Mernom
Seems we had a misunderstanding, what I meant is not that you don't have enough fight scenes, but that the ones you have are not really 'epic' compared to some other fics I've read. Thinking about it, I think I have a short list of things that I feel missing, I'll give it to you over pm when you reply to this review (since I'm posting from phone, the FF App will turn it into a wall of text that makes it harder to read, pm is much simpler)
1/29/2017 c6 Mernom
Nira's predictions really are too accurate. While it's true that most of them were gamer logic, small mistakes every once in a while happens. You could make a gag out of it, something like 'I hate being right'. Interesting dungeon design BTW.
1/29/2017 c5 Mernom
Forgot to mention that I love what you did with the duels, and that it's interesting that Kirito and Asuna ended up married in real even without SAO since I doubt her mother would tolerate him. More about my last review, what bugs me is that you're doing "..." x said "..." x said. A way to fix that is to do "..." x said, then added "..." or "..." x said "..." x then added.
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