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for American Loaded Dragon: Jake Long

11/1/2019 c18 Ghostowen
I wanted to say in bodyguard duty that even if Rose didn't huntsgirl her way out,the goblins had to handle the huntsclan
8/24/2019 c20 92Ohfortheloveofpete
An elemental dragon? I had a similar idea.
8/24/2019 c1 Ohfortheloveofpete
I'm actually writing a fanfic where Jake is friends with Toph Bei Fong. Ironic, huh?
11/12/2018 c28 Finder18
Great story so far, I hope you continue writing.
11/2/2018 c3 Graepey
I love the idea for this fanfiction! It's very original. I love the set-up so far. However, I do hope you'll accept some constructive criticism.

When writing, there's a fundamental rule in which numerous authors swear by. It's a way of writing that I feel this story lacks. It's called the "show don't tell" rule. I'd be surprised if you hadn't heard of it. It basically entails (as the name suggests) That you show an action, not tell it. Allow me to give an example:

She was sad

Her brows furrowed over sorrowful eyes as her gaze faltered to the ground.

Not only does it improve writing quality, but it also increases the word count of your chapters.

In addition, I also noticed that you seem to overuse adverbs. Those are words such as "sadly, joyfully, greatly, etc." Many revered authors urge that you should only use these maybe once every 1,000 characters at most. Instead, it is recommended that you replace them with other words. Allow me to give an example:

Wrong (if overused):
He smiled deviously

He shot her a devious smile
He smirked

Don't berid of them completely, they can be useful, but i highly recommend that they only be used in moderation.

I hope you find these tips useful for improving your writing! owo Regardless, I'm quite enjoying the story so far. Thanks for writing it.
11/2/2018 c28 4TheNargana
i hope you will upload it here as well. i like your idea to change everything and cant wait to see more.
11/2/2018 c28 60D.J. Scales
Not bad. Good job with the transition to season two.
11/2/2018 c28 2angelusjmw

It would be Better if you post it and other stories you write on archive of our own or ficwad
9/1/2018 c27 60D.J. Scales
Nice chapter. Thanks. Ill be sure to finish the Demon Portal Arc for the Elemental Dragon Girl.
8/30/2018 c18 Guest
When you think about it the wig thing could have been true since Rose’s hair was to short to be made into that long braid in season 1.
8/4/2018 c26 LuckyShadowWolf
Hah! I love the reference to Jackie Chan! ...Although does that mean one of the dragons will end up as the living vessel of the Dragon Talisman's power?
8/4/2018 c26 D.J. Scales
Well done with this chapter.
7/7/2018 c25 D.J. Scales
Now that was a wonderful chapter.
6/10/2018 c24 timijaf
Great chapter
6/9/2018 c24 D.J. Scales
Short chapter but very effective.
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