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12/14/2019 c12 6LegancyZ
Hmmmmm, tea.
12/4/2019 c13 4David Fishwick
I enjoyed reading this chapter and please update soon thanks.
10/11/2019 c12 David Fishwick
Great idea so far and I hope there is more soon as I am enjoying reading this story.
3/26/2019 c1 6LegancyZ
I guess you could say...this story has potential.
3/14/2019 c9 21Raeror
There are a couple of things I wanted to talk about in this chapter.

During your writing in the future; I suggest using fewer commas. I was going through your exposition and I noticed you have commas in many of your sentences. Stretches your sentences. The pace comes off as long and slow. Repetitive. At least to me.

It really shows when you have action scenes such as.

He slid slowly downwards at first, then faster and faster until he was falling straight down.

Less words in a sentence allows for the mental imagination of a quicker pace.

Try reading it like this.

He slid slowly downwards at first. Then faster. Faster. He was falling straight down.

Think about more sentence variety during your exposition. Especially in terms of playing with punctuation. When you had that - early on in the chapter was a nice change of pace. Really came off as Angel changing his mindset.

You don't have that problem in your dialogue and that helps your characters come off as natural. The characters themselves are very enjoyable. I very much look forward to what you write next.
3/10/2019 c9 mendenbar
Ooh, things seem to be heating up nicely now.
10/15/2018 c8 9JimmyHall24
Nice
8/30/2018 c7 JimmyHall24
Watch out Angel. Now is not the time for Angelus to come out to play!
8/30/2018 c6 JimmyHall24
Cue awkward silence.
8/30/2018 c5 JimmyHall24
So Isabel's dead?

Hmm... no. That seemed more like a teleportation than some suicide.
8/30/2018 c4 JimmyHall24
Nice.

I'm expecting a fight in the next chapter.
8/30/2018 c3 JimmyHall24
Faith getting angry there at the end! Defending her man!

Wait a second... Angel's soul is uh.. flimsy.

Angelus return in the future? Hmm.

Buffy's reaction is going to be glorious.
8/30/2018 c2 JimmyHall24
Men in Black looking for super-powered teenagers they can possibly exploit and use?

Either it is US government agents or some remnants of the Watcher Council!

Or some third party.

Hmm. Best read more to find out I suppose.
8/30/2018 c1 JimmyHall24
Dense as a rock?

Blind as a bat!

Haha.. get it cause.. vampires... bats...

I'll stop.

Nice chapter btw.
8/27/2018 c7 mendenbar
Faith is going to be so good for Angel. He really needs someone who actually understands him, that he doesn't feel he needs to hide things from and I'm not completely sure he really trusts anyone around him with everything he's going through these days. Wonder what Faith is going to think of the whole Cordelia/Connor/mindwipe thing.
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