1/27/2021 c8 drucifer000
Honestly this chapter felt a little bit forced, Harry's been basically untouchable since he arrived at this world and then some rando just comes up behind him and hits him over the head? Kinda felt unbelievable...

1/13/2021 c30 y.do.i.need.a.penname.i.read
great story, with a more unusual cross over. :) thanks for the content

12/27/2020 c30 Johannes293
It's a great story and your writing has improved by leaps an bounds over the years. Congratulations.
If only I didn't despise Gary Stus. The HPverse also never really held any appeal to me but I still had fun reading this.

12/18/2020 c1 StoneTheLoner
Oof. If you ever decide to fix this story up then absolutely the first place to start would be the dialogue. It's really, reeaally rough! Sometimes it felt like Harry talked to her like you would to a child, and other times he over explains like if he doesn't say every little detail of something it won't be true. Or something. The reason he's doing it is my own interpretation, but it doesn't change the fact that he's info dumping stuff that doesn't need to be said.

And if you want a perfect example... Treating her like a little girl is harder to pin down to one paragraph, but my other criticism is rather easy to give proof for. Here is one I had a problem with...

""Oh yes! Forgive me for being a little forgetful. As to how I found you; I was taking a stroll through the woods outside when I heard some noises like the smashing of metal on metal in the distance. I decided to investigate but by the time I fond you, you were bleeding out on the ground. I asked those beings with the skeleton armor what they thought they were doing and they told me to leave or die. At that moment, I realized they were probably up to something unpleasant so I warned them to step away from you and to leave immediately. The one with the staff tried to order them to kill me, but as soon as I heard him start with the order I attacked. The rest it a blur. It wasn't long before all were dead including their beasts. Sadly the one with the staff escaped before I could finish him off. Despite that, I burned the dead bodies to ash and had them scattered all over the forest to throw off the trail and mess with the scent. I then got rid of any scent leading here so they could not track us here. After I brought you here I started treating your various wounds. That was four days and three nights ago. I would check in on you once a day to make sure your wounds would heal properly then told my servant to report to me immediately when you awoke so I could make sure to get you fed and watered as soon as you were awake. Now here we are." Harry said to the girl. He purposefully left out any magic just in case. The girl looked very uncomfortable by the end of the story."

-

Seriously, that "story" only needed four sentences. Like this.

Your conflict with those men found it's way onto my property and I came when I heard the racket. The people that were attacking you insisted on finishing the job, so I fought them and took you here to my home where myself and a friend have been watching over you ever since. It's been a several days and I'm glad you've finally come to!

Seeing what that paragraph could've been does more to show what the problem is than anything I've said so far, right? People simply don't talk like the paragraph you wrote.

12/14/2020 c21 14InsaneSmirkingRevenge
harry does that exact thing. does he not throw his power around without a thought to any consequences? it's kinda ridiculous. also there is a distinction between an emperor and a king it's not just a puffed up title.

12/12/2020 c30 1aPancake
Wonderfully crafted story. I've been along for the ride more or less the whole way.

12/12/2020 c10 Dorben
I thought he was going by Harold Black? Did he not introduce himself as such before the first village he attempted to recruit?

12/5/2020 c30 1ChiDead
That was a beautiful read