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for Claimed Revised&Edited

11/16/2018 c32 Sr. Gwyneth
Hi Herenya902,

Just want to say, the revisions so far are a real improvement. I loved 'Claimed' for the most part the first time around, but I did have a real problem with the speed with which Brynjolf could forgive Arsha. Her abuse was just too heinous. This pacing is much better! Thanks so much for revising it!
8/13/2018 c10 2SpiritOfJazz
Well! Firstly, very happy I decided to give this fanfic a shot, it's very good! So many writers try to write a super mysterious character with a tragic backstory but reveal everything so quickly, the tiny bits of pieces that we learn about Arsha are so tantalizing and make want to keep reading so I can figure out who the heck she is. Her character development is actually drawn out and slow and I appreciate that.
My only critique is that there seems to be some sort of text glitch on a number of chapters, including this one. I'm not sure if this is just my computer or what, but it did make it very difficult to read (I still sucked it up and powered through anyway lol)
Can't wait until I can finish this off!
6/23/2018 c33 Guest
I loved this story!
12/7/2017 c33 GrandEclipse
My favorite parts of the story was the suspense, the emotional depth, and the way you made Arsha's past actions haunt her conscious you humanized the character of the dragon born by reflecting on how she feels about her past actions and her present life in a way other Skyrim fics don't adding she feels much more human than I expect from most elder scroll fanfic maim charecters a love interest she tortured in the past was simply brilliant and added much more depth and suspense it also made it easier for us to relate to how she feels about her past why she's trying to evade it and why she feels so guilty and conflicted not to mention Byrnolfs feelings lovely story my friend
11/2/2017 c13 ElenaN
I saw it coming (kind of) ;)
11/1/2017 c33 Dashiell Gillingham
This was a very great story. I cannot ever hope to give it the accolades it deserves. Honestly if you touched up a few things and presented it to Bethesda I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually let you publish it. The best parts by far where Arsha’s self-doubt and guilt. You’re actually really good at writing that. I do have to mention that the actual forgiveness part wasn’t up to the same standards though. It just wasn’t as... immersive I guess. I could see some of the seams. But again, great, great job, can’t wait to see what else you can do!
10/21/2017 c33 Manu
I loved ... loved this so much and This was the right final! 3
10/17/2017 c33 3LittleIvy
I really enjoyed this story and it's sad to see it come to an end. Some things that I think you could work on in future (if you're writing a story with Brynjolf) is to not have him say "lass" as often as you did in this one! I know that it's his signature phrase and everything, but I felt like it started to get a bit overused when you had a lot of dialogue and he says "lass" literally every sentence.

Just one more thing that I noticed, I found it a bit immersion breaking that some of the game mechanics of Elder Scrolls V were taken very literally in this story. Obviously it's completely up to you, and you wrote it very well, but a bit more description of what the healing spell is doing instead of "Arsha cast a heal others spell" would have been nice.

I look forward to seeing what else you come out with!
10/15/2017 c32 Guest
they are so cute! I'm Italian!
10/14/2017 c32 Nina
XD this was so amazing and so sweet! loveee!
10/14/2017 c31 Nina
happy for this and happy for Sura!
10/14/2017 c31 Guest
This is a very very wonderful piece!great work ,love it so much
10/10/2017 c31 Manu
Brynjolf and Arsha foooooooreveeeeerrrrrrr
10/9/2017 c30 Nina
is sunk in a corner waiting for the next!
10/9/2017 c30 Guest
O.o ohhhhh my... give me the next...oh they are so close! BUT Fuk..ing DRAGOOON!
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