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for Undertale: The Chronicles of the Purple Soul

9/5/2017 c15 LalaSpade
"while blowing my cover" XD LMAO
You just broke the forth wall.
6/22/2017 c14 LalaSpade
It's really cool that you are in a summer program, I don't know if auntie told you but I'm in a summer program at Bowie State University. I can get 2 college credits in 5 weeks, good luck with your program!

Also this is my favorite chapter so far, it's written really well and has some really great puns! I can't wait for Yumi to meet Papyrus.
6/1/2017 c13 LalaSpade
Neat. Every story needs a little DETERMINATION. XP

Nice chapter,looking forward to more!
5/23/2017 c12 LalaSpade
Your welcome 3
5/4/2017 c11 LalaSpade
"finding Kimmy a live" I think you meant "alive", anyway That idea about the monster maybe pulling out the soul on purpose was interesting, how did they do that? I definitely want to see what purple will discover.

Also the only thing I have with these kinda fics is that I already know that the main character dies, I am so sad. All those kids D;
4/28/2017 c10 LalaSpade
Neat chapters! Happy Belated Birthday, sorry I didn't call/text, I've been a little busy but that's no excuse.
I didn't even know there was a persona 5 out already, having fun?
Looking forward to more! Also your paragraphs look so much better and this story is so easy to read now. 3
3/8/2017 c6 LalaSpade
Your welcome, and I hope you enjoy spring break!
I'm sad now, poor Kimmy.
RIP Kimmy. We are getting closer and closer to leaving the ruins,can't wait for the next chapter! XP
3/6/2017 c5 LalaSpade
Nice chapter, time to go through the Ruins!

In the last Paragraph you put "Patients My dear child..." Just so you know.
( Patience,my dear child )

I'm still so hyped that your writing a fanfic, Whooooo!
2/20/2017 c4 LalaSpade
OMG, I really love purple souls thought process. Their feelings about Flowey are funny and I love that they know they are in a game.

Also thanks so much for the special mention! That has never happen to me before and was super awesome. Looking forward to the next update. X3
2/9/2017 c3 LalaSpade
This is really cool Cousin! I love where the plot and I'm eager to read how someone persistent will go through the story.
I also wanted to offer some constructive criticism if you want?

You seem to have a (tiny ) habit of saying the same thing twice? Such as in ch.2 when she "grieved in despair"; also it is a little hard to read in one huge paragraph, spacing out the paragraphs would make this a lot easier to read. Like after every three to four sentences add a space or something like that.

Hopefully that helps a little, I really like this idea and I can't wait to read what happens next, cuz.

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