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10/15/2017 c16 RMT1161
This is some great writing and a really good story. Hope you keep it up!
4/9/2017 c2 1figbassist75
I liked the opening for this particular chapter. We get a glimpse of the state of the galaxy so far into the future. The mystique of Yavin IV is always a treat to either read or even see on screen. I liked the line, “Battle was her escape from the tedium of Coruscant. While she hated unnecessary death, she loved to fight.” I feel this gives a bit of characterization to Ri as well as giving us a look into what makes her who she is. This portion of the chapter allows for some good development of Ri’s character. In fact, it makes me want to read more about Ri and learn just who she is.

The battle between Ri and the Sith had me on the edge of my seat. It was back and forth, as a good lightsaber duel should be. The duel’s conclusion caught me off guard, and that aspect only adds to the pleasure of reading it. I was pleasantly surprised by it all.

I have to say the ending scenes were full of emotion as Ri faced yet another opponent. I was listening to John William’s “Anakin falls to the Dark Side Suite” as I read through this chapter. That piece of dynamic Star Wars music set the scene. Out of respect for future readers, I will end the review here to refrain from spoiling the ending of the chapter. I enjoyed this chapter and l will look forward to reading more as time allows. Keep up the good work!
2/10/2017 c1 figbassist75
I liked how you brought us into Ri's story with a glimpse of where she came from. I know that a number of readers would label lengthy descriptions as information dumps but in an OC centered story such as this one, we need information to help us build a picture of a character we do not know. I could sense Ri's pain and trepidation. And who can blame her for what she has been through in her fairly young life. Such feelings are a dangerous path for a Jedi though. Hopefully in time, she will realize that.

I found the contrast between Klayton's characteristics and Ri's to be particularly interesting. At first, I was thinking he was coming off as a bully or a mocker but in reality he was just trying to get to know her and maybe even test her a little. Ri, on the other hand, is a bit apprehensive at first but soon opens up to Klayton.

The bond they formed will hopefully play out in future chapters. And the ending with the attack on the city was fun to read. I look forward to reading more of the story in the future. Keep up the good work!

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