for Making KP8/20/2021 c2 Guest
So...ron will have problems in the future
So...ron will have problems in the future
10/24/2018 c4 Jerel
Gladys Kravitz from "Bewitched"?! Dang, she gets around!
Gladys Kravitz from "Bewitched"?! Dang, she gets around!
10/9/2017 c4 Bobtrumpet
A very interesting AU take on KP. You write well and have an interesting story line in work. I eagerly look forward to where this is going.
A very interesting AU take on KP. You write well and have an interesting story line in work. I eagerly look forward to where this is going.
9/22/2017 c4 
55arandomshipper
Done! Let's start with the 'bad'. I use quotations, because I no longer have the time or patience to actually finish reading a story I think is bad. I finished it, therefore it was decent at worst.
1. Not a fan of the premise. Given Kim's capabilities, I won't deny that it's tempting to think she might be the result of eugenics, but I feel like it takes away a bit of the whimsical charm of the show to make that assumption. A brain surgeon happened to meet a rocket scientist, and bam! Look what happened! Isn't that crazy?
2. I could be wrong about this, but I feel like not much effort was put into capturing the characters' 'voices'. To a degree, I understand why. For one thing, this is years prior to the show, so their speaking patterns will necessarily be at least a little different. For another, we're looking at them in the type of dramatic, emotional situations we literally never see them in during canon. Nevertheless, I'd have enjoyed it more if they 'sounded' more like themselves.
3. The overall spelling and grammar were very good. The few mistakes I saw were almost certainly typos, which I'd have to be incredibly hypocritical to be unforgiving of. These days, I only point out errors if they're repeated. You had exactly one of those: OK should be okay. Okay? Okay.
Now the good stuff.
1. Engaging writing style. I can't really get too detailed on this, because it changes greatly from writer to writer. It's as indefinable as it is necessary. You sucked me in, despite my lack of interest in the plot, based on this alone.
2. There were a LOT of very touchy subjects covered in this story. In fact, it was practically ALL touchy subjects. One of the reasons I stay away from stories like this is that they're soooo hard to do correctly. You either end up trivializing important issues, or over-dramatizing everything to the point of irritation and a complete subversion of any kind of believability. Striking a balance between the two is very, very difficult, and you managed to do it over and over, IMO. I was very impressed with that.
3. Even though I complained a bit about the characters being OOC, they were still fleshed out and recognizable CHARACTERS, not just place holders to move your plot along. I'm fine with just calling this AU and having the characters be a bit different than they were in canon, because they're still likable and interesting.
A fun read, when all's said and done. I'll probably try some more of your stuff when I have some time.
55arandomshipperDone! Let's start with the 'bad'. I use quotations, because I no longer have the time or patience to actually finish reading a story I think is bad. I finished it, therefore it was decent at worst.
1. Not a fan of the premise. Given Kim's capabilities, I won't deny that it's tempting to think she might be the result of eugenics, but I feel like it takes away a bit of the whimsical charm of the show to make that assumption. A brain surgeon happened to meet a rocket scientist, and bam! Look what happened! Isn't that crazy?
2. I could be wrong about this, but I feel like not much effort was put into capturing the characters' 'voices'. To a degree, I understand why. For one thing, this is years prior to the show, so their speaking patterns will necessarily be at least a little different. For another, we're looking at them in the type of dramatic, emotional situations we literally never see them in during canon. Nevertheless, I'd have enjoyed it more if they 'sounded' more like themselves.
3. The overall spelling and grammar were very good. The few mistakes I saw were almost certainly typos, which I'd have to be incredibly hypocritical to be unforgiving of. These days, I only point out errors if they're repeated. You had exactly one of those: OK should be okay. Okay? Okay.
Now the good stuff.
1. Engaging writing style. I can't really get too detailed on this, because it changes greatly from writer to writer. It's as indefinable as it is necessary. You sucked me in, despite my lack of interest in the plot, based on this alone.
2. There were a LOT of very touchy subjects covered in this story. In fact, it was practically ALL touchy subjects. One of the reasons I stay away from stories like this is that they're soooo hard to do correctly. You either end up trivializing important issues, or over-dramatizing everything to the point of irritation and a complete subversion of any kind of believability. Striking a balance between the two is very, very difficult, and you managed to do it over and over, IMO. I was very impressed with that.
3. Even though I complained a bit about the characters being OOC, they were still fleshed out and recognizable CHARACTERS, not just place holders to move your plot along. I'm fine with just calling this AU and having the characters be a bit different than they were in canon, because they're still likable and interesting.
A fun read, when all's said and done. I'll probably try some more of your stuff when I have some time.
6/27/2017 c4 19DrCyrusBortel
Well written and very interesting. Prophecy bit was a bit over the top, eugenics program would have been less dramatic (but drama is often a good thing). Loved portrayl of Nana, Ann, and James.
"No, I don't want her fiance assassinated!"
You were right. The trope has been covered before. :)
Which police action? Somalia? (mogadishu?) Former Yugoslavia?
19DrCyrusBortelWell written and very interesting. Prophecy bit was a bit over the top, eugenics program would have been less dramatic (but drama is often a good thing). Loved portrayl of Nana, Ann, and James.
"No, I don't want her fiance assassinated!"
You were right. The trope has been covered before. :)
Which police action? Somalia? (mogadishu?) Former Yugoslavia?
3/2/2017 c4 27Sentinel103
So Ann punctured James? Oh wow, and now Ann wants the father of her child to be with her full time? Coolio, I suppose eventually Ann will believe that James would be a good father and wants to have more with him.
Ya know it gets better and better, you left out a lot...it's sorta like an outline that some of the younger writers try to do and not pull it off. You however, Jimmy, have done good.
ST-103
27Sentinel103So Ann punctured James? Oh wow, and now Ann wants the father of her child to be with her full time? Coolio, I suppose eventually Ann will believe that James would be a good father and wants to have more with him.
Ya know it gets better and better, you left out a lot...it's sorta like an outline that some of the younger writers try to do and not pull it off. You however, Jimmy, have done good.
ST-103
3/2/2017 c4 4CajunBear73
A very rocky, painful road traveled before love came home.
And the little things helped make things happen when obstacles seemed insurmountable between them.
The stage was set for Kimmie to become Kim Possible...but a shock of corn-yellow hair and never be normal had to stumble in, before it all came together.
CB73
4CajunBear73A very rocky, painful road traveled before love came home.
And the little things helped make things happen when obstacles seemed insurmountable between them.
The stage was set for Kimmie to become Kim Possible...but a shock of corn-yellow hair and never be normal had to stumble in, before it all came together.
CB73
3/2/2017 c4 49daccu65
Wow. It looks like a corner has turned. Okay, they don't have the straight road to become a real family...but they may just be on a path that will take them there someday.
Yeah, it was over twenty years ago, but I remember the nighttime feedings and lack of sleep. Hope to read more soon.
49daccu65Wow. It looks like a corner has turned. Okay, they don't have the straight road to become a real family...but they may just be on a path that will take them there someday.
Yeah, it was over twenty years ago, but I remember the nighttime feedings and lack of sleep. Hope to read more soon.
2/23/2017 c3 4CajunBear73
Quite the woman Ann is, ain't she?
Traveling a road as legendary as Nana has and will yet again, and as will their next generation, they carry the steel that comes from who and what they are. Generational influences disregarded.
As this comes to a close, it's yet to be seen how Ann and James became Husband and Wife, with their firstborn already a 'combat veteran'...if only an observational one at that.
I found the closing quite the emotional one as her 'Sons' all paid tribute to the fiery angel who saved them all when 'by the book' would have doomed them.
Kim inherited so many things from her Mother, Father, Grandmother and Grandfather, but what Ann gave to her was what made the little redhead who she became.
CajunBear73
4CajunBear73Quite the woman Ann is, ain't she?
Traveling a road as legendary as Nana has and will yet again, and as will their next generation, they carry the steel that comes from who and what they are. Generational influences disregarded.
As this comes to a close, it's yet to be seen how Ann and James became Husband and Wife, with their firstborn already a 'combat veteran'...if only an observational one at that.
I found the closing quite the emotional one as her 'Sons' all paid tribute to the fiery angel who saved them all when 'by the book' would have doomed them.
Kim inherited so many things from her Mother, Father, Grandmother and Grandfather, but what Ann gave to her was what made the little redhead who she became.
CajunBear73
2/23/2017 c3 49daccu65
Now we see where Kim's determination to help people comes from, as well as her need for adrenaline rushes.
49daccu65Now we see where Kim's determination to help people comes from, as well as her need for adrenaline rushes.
2/20/2017 c2 daccu65
While Paul did act like a jerk towards the end, I have to feel for him towards the middle of the chapter. After all, if I was in my early twenties and my fiancee had told me "I love you but I'm going to be artificially inseminated by another man so that I can produce a child and your genes just aren't good enough. Because the child must be raised in a proper household, I want you to take on all the duties and responsibilities of being the father.
In other words, you're good enough to be the dad but you're not good enough to be the father. That's cold.
Of course I noticed Steve Barkin but James' friend, Amy the biologist? Could this be another character we know?
Interesting take on the situation.
While Paul did act like a jerk towards the end, I have to feel for him towards the middle of the chapter. After all, if I was in my early twenties and my fiancee had told me "I love you but I'm going to be artificially inseminated by another man so that I can produce a child and your genes just aren't good enough. Because the child must be raised in a proper household, I want you to take on all the duties and responsibilities of being the father.
In other words, you're good enough to be the dad but you're not good enough to be the father. That's cold.
Of course I noticed Steve Barkin but James' friend, Amy the biologist? Could this be another character we know?
Interesting take on the situation.
2/20/2017 c2 4CajunBear73
A bit of a rocky start between Ann and James...
But as this went on, she found those she could depend on (with conditions...and some deep connections) and those who would be a roadblock.
Interesting faces and names appearing along the way as Ann makes her way as a brain surgeon, and James helps her out regardless of the outcome.
When a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist fall in love, the results are...we'll see.
CB73
4CajunBear73A bit of a rocky start between Ann and James...
But as this went on, she found those she could depend on (with conditions...and some deep connections) and those who would be a roadblock.
Interesting faces and names appearing along the way as Ann makes her way as a brain surgeon, and James helps her out regardless of the outcome.
When a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist fall in love, the results are...we'll see.
CB73
2/8/2017 c1 4CajunBear73
Interesting backstory of how James and Ann were guided towards each other, and how they fell in love.
Something their Handlers may have been surprised of, but not of importance to them.
But something that made a bit of difference, after all, eh?
CB73
4CajunBear73Interesting backstory of how James and Ann were guided towards each other, and how they fell in love.
Something their Handlers may have been surprised of, but not of importance to them.
But something that made a bit of difference, after all, eh?
CB73