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for Like Father, Like Daughter

2/18/2017 c1 6Cross177
All I'm gonna say is, 16 years, you are bound to have some shenanigans, even if it was with Hekapoo. The big question here is the type of name, normal name you would find for Earth, or somethin that would be as unique is Hekapoo

But the main thing is wow, the reactions towards Jackie, Janna, and Star and add to the fact Marco is mentally 30 while still physically 14, this is all kinds of messed up.
2/17/2017 c1 1AEceros
First off, thank you for the fanfiction! I greatly enjoyed reading the story you wrote. The pacing so far seems reasonable, and the characters seem in character, albeit a little bit more serious (and reasonably so).

I have a few suggestions though:

1. Make sure to spellcheck and grammar check. There were not many, but there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes (such as confusions between "where" and "were") that distracted from the awesome story. There were some other places where verbs missing entirely from sentences as well.

2. You're missing quite a few commas in your sentences. There should be commas right before a conjunction and right after a preposition that is is placed at the beginning of the sentence.

3. Make sure your tenses match. It can be a little disorienting when they don't match. It was particularly evident in your description of Marco's behaviors with Tom in the first half of the story. Even though the passage was describing a past event, the tense switched to present tense unnecessarily, which ruined the flow of the story.

4. Sometimes you use commas instead of periods, such as in the first sentence of the second paragraph. Those are two independent clauses not connected by a conjunction, so that comma should be a period.

It's mostly grammar and syntax stuff. Although it doesn't directly pertain to the story, I think that it is important to make sure these are done cleanly and correctly because incorrect grammar and syntax detrimentally affects one's impressions about a written document immensely.

I look forward to the next chapter!
2/14/2017 c1 Guest
Interesting, this looks like it could be fun. But I wonder, will this focus entirely on Marco's relationship with his kid? will Hekapoo have an active role in the story?

Anyways, looking forward for the next chapter, and thank you for taking the time to write this.
2/14/2017 c1 Guest
On Marco's scissors theirs a logo of Hekapoo on it so it may be bit literally a mark of Hekapoo on Marco
2/14/2017 c1 S
Seriously Pony?!
2/14/2017 c1 12Gold Testament
Okay that was an awesome chapter, but you need to add characters for the filters Marco and Heckapoo are a definite since it's their daughter. Oh and Marco and Tom are nothing more than Frienemies. Why do people prefer making those two guys a couple? I can only imagine them as friends, plus once Marco gained his scissors he and Tom could go on guys only adventures.
2/14/2017 c1 1avidreaded
I just finished episode 16 and this was exactly what I was looking for afterwards.
2/14/2017 c1 1Arthur Moon
Pretty good everyone always seems to forget that 16 years is
Very a long time in human years
2/14/2017 c1 nightmaster000
Awesome story. :)

I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes.

I'm also looking forward to seeing the thoughts and reactions to all Marco's family and friends to this latest twist.

The story behind this is going to be very interesting.

The fact Marco has a daughter with Hekapoo of all people is one heck of a shock. I mean from the episodes she's in it's pretty much implied she's one of the biggest players in all the dimensions. She forges all the dimensional scissors and is a member of the Magic High Commission.
2/14/2017 c1 21evolvelove
I ship them! theyre my new otp
Keep writing and evolve more!
hope you update soon!
2/14/2017 c1 Guest
It's good. Keep it up
2/14/2017 c1 Guest
(ScanixonGaming) Wow just wow uhh well this was very awesome so please continue and wow
(I know im too lazy to log in :p)
2/14/2017 c1 Guest
Awesome story. But it doesn't make too much sense timeline wise. Marco spent 16 years in Hekapoo's dimension, which is the equilvalent of 8 mins here on Earth. So the 14 years of their daughter and Hekapoo getting pregnant would still probably be 8 mins or less. The story is still really cool and I look forward to more chapters
2/14/2017 c1 Johnny boy
Is Tom an old flame of Hekapoo or did he just steal a pair of scissors like pone head?
2/14/2017 c1 Johnny boy
Love it so much, I can understand Hekapoo wouldn't have considered to use any birth control if it was considered impossible to for her to get pregnant, like not 1 in a 100 not 1 in a 1000000 but literally impossible to get pregnant.
Anyway can't wait for the next chapter.
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