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for It Lies In Our Genes

5/16/2017 c7 4Jaggedwing
Ahh, I just found your story and can I just say I'm in love? At first I was wondering how it would work out, but by now I've decided I'll really love this story as it continues! I hope you update soon, but no rushing! I'll be keeping an eye out
4/21/2017 c7 Guest
Hm... I guess Vlad will have heard by now, or soon, that Danny's been taken in by Bruce Wayne. He's also a rich dude, too. Though I'm also curious how the whole adoption thing is gonna go down with Maddie. Surely she'll want Danny, too?
4/21/2017 c6 Guest
Haha, things make so much more sense now! Poor Danny. Guess he was too nervous and messed up. Or maybe his hunger messed him up. Who knows?
4/21/2017 c7 23Moonview
That made more sense. Great job, can't wait to see what's up next!
4/21/2017 c6 8A Small Voice
Lol. That does make more sense.
As an identical twin, I can honestly say I do not feel what my sister is feeling or thinking. Twin telepathy is a myth. What they call twin telepathy is actually just two people who know each other so well that they can predict what the others thinking. As Dick and Danny did not grow up with each other, it bothers me that you would put twin telepathy in. Maybe when they get to know each other better, they could read each other like that and tell what the other was thinking or feeling, but not without knowing the other existed. I'm sorry, but it's a huge pet peeve of mine. Think of it this way, Red Arrow and Arsenal share the same DNA, just like identical twins do, but they do not feel or think what the other is.
That being said. I really do enjoy this story.
4/14/2017 c6 Rin
I'm so excited for the next chapter! This is really interesting so far.
4/11/2017 c6 critique
your story does seem rushed but I think the reason is because you do a lot of telling instead of showing.
instead of telling us Danny 'seemed to be sad' show us the physical representation of sadness. tell us the story through a character's senses, what they see, perceive, feel, smell, (depressed sigh, frown deepening, lips quivering, eyes stared off becoming slightly glossy). it is a hard habit to get into but once it is ingrained it makes writing so much easier.
also don't be afraid to add details, as long as you don't get to be longer then a paragraph it should be fine.
Don't skip so much, a bit here an there is fine but the fun is the jurney. Show us from point A to point B how did they get there. Let us live through the hardships Danny did. How he got in touch with the resistence? who are the members of the resistence? What was the plan? How egsactly did it fail? Show us the conversation and reaction between bruce and dick. Show us the conversation between Dick and Wally. You have so many jucy plot points that you are just skimming over in one sentence. You have done it before, just do more of it, for everything.
On a contradicting note, if something is not important, by all means leave it out, or hold it back for us to learn later. You really could just pick up the story with Bruce meeting Danny for the first time and then slowly uncover what happened when Danny went missing through out the story. You could even keep the prologe and then jump in with Bruce.
Slow it down, saver it. And if you don't know the answer or can't feel modivated to write in that kind of detail, it's okay think about it when you can, edit bit by bit. The more you write the better you get.
4/8/2017 c6 Guest
Hahaha, I don't know if I'm the only one, but I'm seriously curious as to how on earth Danny got in Gordon's office anyways. xD
Also, Danny's aware that Vlad is a rich halfa in either form. So wouldn't he be kinda paranoid about being on camera? Because Vlad would easily find him that way. Although Maddie would probably find him that way, too. (I'm really curious to see if she'll visit the Wayne manor to see Danny.)
Sorry if I'm just repeating myself from earlier reviews, LOL. I'm just really worried/curious about those things. Can't wait to see what happens next! :D
4/7/2017 c1 messedupmoon
I love this!
4/6/2017 c6 locky3670
Love this! I can't wait to find out what happens next!
4/6/2017 c6 23Moonview
Good to see how they finally met. But how did Gordon find Danny? And who took him when he was a child?
3/27/2017 c5 Guest
Please post again soon-Voldemort
3/16/2017 c5 Guest
Ooooooooooooooh~! This story is very interesting! I also like how the ghosts actually care for Danny, rather than attacking for no good reason. I really hope Desiree is still existing... But ahhhhh, this fix is definitely going to my favorites! Can't wait for what happens next! C:
3/10/2017 c5 Fate
This is Great
3/8/2017 c5 1FightMeBoi
personally i really liked this chapter. I liked the meeting between bruce and danny and cant wait till the next chapter. i only wish these were a little longer so i can read more~
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