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for The Second Monkey

1/18/2020 c1 Guest
Bumblebee is a shit toxic paring.
3/1/2017 c2 Guest
A second chapter on a single story, does this mean that you're really back now? If so, when will the old stories be updated (or brought back, as the case may be)?
2/28/2017 c2 Guest
What? I thought you wouldn't be able to update your works until you were back, only able to release new ones. Does this mean that Reading Naruto the Huntsmen is finally getting updated? Speaking of which, where the bloody hell did it even go?
2/27/2017 c2 43BonesBoy15
This is fantastic! I love Naruto in Shade, at shade rather than the usual cliches. ...Crap I fall under that category! Whyyyy!?

Okay, moment of crisis over. Now onto a hopefully constructive review. The pacing of the chapters seemed a bit rushed, but that may be due to me reading at thirty two skip a few a minute, and I don't know how to suggest a slower pace. There's a few grammer oopsies, the primary one I saw being new lines of dialogue coming after a transitional narrative. In theory dialogue should start a new paragraph, but doesn't have to break away again until a new speaker uh, speaks. On the flip side of that argument, English is such a broken language anyway, it doesn't really matter because writers are testing boundaries all the time.

Whew, I gotta read more often after my weekly group swap. Gets me all analytical n shit.

Summarize my MASSIVE review; I love it Kiwi. Keep on Keepin on.
2/25/2017 c2 8348
Shit's lit fam. Keep the fiyah burning.
2/25/2017 c2 Cold Daylight
2/25/2017 c2 13PlaguedAmbition
You're going well Rob. Keep building on the characters, bring them to life. It will take some getting used to, but once you get the hang of it, things run quite smoothly at times.
2/24/2017 c2 17duskrider
Nice battle against the giant grimm.
Honestly it is a wonder why the Grimm do not take over. My only guess is Salem is holding back her main forces like a chess player holding back there best pieces, or she has a limited amount of control over the overall amount of grimm she can direct and focusing on too many at once can lead to sensory overload (or the equal of that for what ever power she has over grimm), or she is a sadistic and wants to see all the world rot, bit by bit.
2/24/2017 c2 13yukicrewger2
what is Naruto's semblance and are you going to give Naruto Asuma's knuckleduster trench knives as his final weapon?
2/24/2017 c2 21KukanKing
curious to what narrates semblance is also are him and sun twins
2/24/2017 c1 3SamaelTheDevil
Well first, it's well written the grammar is superb which is rare on this site. Second, story wise, I can't say much since nothing important has happened yet. But I'm looking forward to it. That's also rare!

Will go into more detail once you have published the second chapter!
2/23/2017 c1 Guest
I swear I'm going crazy. Fading Embers is gone too! It feels like all of the best stories are getting deleted one by one.
2/20/2017 c1 Guest
This is nice and all, but what happened to Reading Naruto the Huntsmen?
2/19/2017 c1 Guest
Shadow Prep School before entering Shade Academy. Look out world .. hhhhhh
2/20/2017 c1 3jburk40
Fucking lit fam. Lots of potential.
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