for Alcatraz vs the Enemies of Vale9/5/2019 c3 
2LONE RANGER 97
Please make more chapters I've only seen one other crossover with Alcatraz and that's Percy Jackson and that one's even shorter... Seriously it don't even a thousand words (I greatly apologize to author of that story for saying that) or at least it didn't last time I checked... I'll check it again later but anyway back to what I was saying about continuing the story... Which I will do... Right now... Because I definitely have something inspiring to say... And it'll be very inspiring... So inspiring that you'll... You'll... Okay I lied I can't think of anything inspiring to say... But please continue this story it's really good and it makes me feel like I'm reading another Alcatraz story... Okay yeah I'm out of things to say... Unless of course you want to continue reading about me begging you to continue the story... Like a lot.
2LONE RANGER 97Please make more chapters I've only seen one other crossover with Alcatraz and that's Percy Jackson and that one's even shorter... Seriously it don't even a thousand words (I greatly apologize to author of that story for saying that) or at least it didn't last time I checked... I'll check it again later but anyway back to what I was saying about continuing the story... Which I will do... Right now... Because I definitely have something inspiring to say... And it'll be very inspiring... So inspiring that you'll... You'll... Okay I lied I can't think of anything inspiring to say... But please continue this story it's really good and it makes me feel like I'm reading another Alcatraz story... Okay yeah I'm out of things to say... Unless of course you want to continue reading about me begging you to continue the story... Like a lot.
2/21/2017 c3 nameIsStillBroke
I'm still excited for this. The general style is something seen quite often elsewhere (insert character into the story and see what happens), but you've done a neat job by making the narration different enough that I'm still amused.
There were some opportunities to dive into the world differences and how weird Alcatraz's personality and equipment is that you didn't use too much; a few sentences between him and Ruby/Jaune about how weird it is to have lenses as weapons could have built your AU without being an infodump. A comment from Yang about his age/height/awkwardness could work into the "show, don't tell" advice I hear about all the time. My favorite works don't tell me about character's personalities so much as put the characters into situations with hard choices and then show me how they deal with it; right now I don't really know your Smedy's personality (besides the sarcasm of the narrator), so if you can use the situations that will come up in the next few chapters to fix that it'd be awesome.
I'm still excited for this. The general style is something seen quite often elsewhere (insert character into the story and see what happens), but you've done a neat job by making the narration different enough that I'm still amused.
There were some opportunities to dive into the world differences and how weird Alcatraz's personality and equipment is that you didn't use too much; a few sentences between him and Ruby/Jaune about how weird it is to have lenses as weapons could have built your AU without being an infodump. A comment from Yang about his age/height/awkwardness could work into the "show, don't tell" advice I hear about all the time. My favorite works don't tell me about character's personalities so much as put the characters into situations with hard choices and then show me how they deal with it; right now I don't really know your Smedy's personality (besides the sarcasm of the narrator), so if you can use the situations that will come up in the next few chapters to fix that it'd be awesome.
2/19/2017 c1 SmedryBrokeMyNam
Ambitious attempt here, for a first story. A tie between a huge fanbase (RWBY) and a relatively unknown one (Alcatraz has 2 crossovers on this site, apparently). I happen to be a fan of both, so I am in support! Continue writing and doing things that haven't been done before. I hope the ambition you've shown so far continues. I'm especially amused at the attempt to work in the writing style that made the Alcatraz books so enjoyable. I haven't read them since the 4th one was first out, so I can't critique on how you actually got it, but it's making me chuckle so far.
I am not a writer, but my advice as a reader to you is to know what you want to write before you get too far into this. Writers with plans seem to get farther into their story, and are thus more enjoyable to read. Also, don't use the readers as a guide. You are writing fanfiction, not professionally and not officially. This means that you aren't losing anything valuable if somebody hates what you are doing, and if you are "wrong" (against canon, ooc, spelling, etc.) then it doesn't matter (though being "right" will make your work more generally enjoyable). I hope you are writing for yourself, because as much as I enjoy reading free, amateur works of fiction I will never give you more than an immaterial pat on the back through a review.
I guess I just don't want you to do what I've seen some writers do and start writing "Yet Another..." story. If you crowd source the decision making, you'll have an (by virtue of how voting works) average story. No offence to your writing skills, but if I just wanted to read another story I'd go to the library where I don't have to wait for new chapters. Or just read one of the other thousands of stories on this site. What you have here in this crossover should be one of a kind; didn't I already mention that this is the first crossover of its kind?
Now that I've finished ranting, I want to sincerely encourage you to write without fear. You've set up the Smedrys as a fixture of Remnant, though you referenced Sanderson's books in the first paragraph; I'd love to learn if the reference is just a fourth wall thing or how your Alcatraz relates to Sanderson's. I'm also hoping that this is a deeper crossover than simply exporting the character over (are there librarians on Remnant?), but since this is a first work of fiction I'll be content to see what comes. Get that next chapter out soon, and I'll actually add this to my alerts
Ambitious attempt here, for a first story. A tie between a huge fanbase (RWBY) and a relatively unknown one (Alcatraz has 2 crossovers on this site, apparently). I happen to be a fan of both, so I am in support! Continue writing and doing things that haven't been done before. I hope the ambition you've shown so far continues. I'm especially amused at the attempt to work in the writing style that made the Alcatraz books so enjoyable. I haven't read them since the 4th one was first out, so I can't critique on how you actually got it, but it's making me chuckle so far.
I am not a writer, but my advice as a reader to you is to know what you want to write before you get too far into this. Writers with plans seem to get farther into their story, and are thus more enjoyable to read. Also, don't use the readers as a guide. You are writing fanfiction, not professionally and not officially. This means that you aren't losing anything valuable if somebody hates what you are doing, and if you are "wrong" (against canon, ooc, spelling, etc.) then it doesn't matter (though being "right" will make your work more generally enjoyable). I hope you are writing for yourself, because as much as I enjoy reading free, amateur works of fiction I will never give you more than an immaterial pat on the back through a review.
I guess I just don't want you to do what I've seen some writers do and start writing "Yet Another..." story. If you crowd source the decision making, you'll have an (by virtue of how voting works) average story. No offence to your writing skills, but if I just wanted to read another story I'd go to the library where I don't have to wait for new chapters. Or just read one of the other thousands of stories on this site. What you have here in this crossover should be one of a kind; didn't I already mention that this is the first crossover of its kind?
Now that I've finished ranting, I want to sincerely encourage you to write without fear. You've set up the Smedrys as a fixture of Remnant, though you referenced Sanderson's books in the first paragraph; I'd love to learn if the reference is just a fourth wall thing or how your Alcatraz relates to Sanderson's. I'm also hoping that this is a deeper crossover than simply exporting the character over (are there librarians on Remnant?), but since this is a first work of fiction I'll be content to see what comes. Get that next chapter out soon, and I'll actually add this to my alerts