for On the Illusion of Might2/22/2017 c1 muratira
This is a very ingenious idea, to place them in separate galaxies, but I am somewhat worried of who 'they' are supposed to be. Are they the Citadel races? Because after reading this chapter the only thing I see them deserving is having NOVA bombs shoved down their throats, not access to super advanced alien tech. I do hope that, if the description is anything to go by, they get put in their place.
But, you said that it will take years for the ME races to get anywhere close to human or covenant territory and I have to wonder what exactly do you mean by that. Will it take years for them to make contact or is the lack of mass relays limiting the ME races to the FTL equivalent of a snail's crawl(according to the Mass Effect wiki conventional, non mass relay FTL averages at around 12 light-years/day, which is EXTREMELY slow when you consider these 'interstellar' civilizations to have been spacefaring for THOUSANDS of years).
On the topic of Halo 5 and Halo wars 2, I do agree on both topics. The halo 5 campaign was nothing like I expected or as the trailers showcased and seemed to have gone towards the stereotypical route of evil AI, how original. As for Atriox, now that, was a joke. You have an antiquated bucket of bolts for a vessel? Here, fight something that the Covenant AT THEIR PEAK, could, supposedly, not contain. Even if the existance of the Banished holds some merit(despite the fact the Covenant would have simply glassed the planet Atriox and his army was on and be done with it, and don't even say he SOMEHOW could match the Covenant navy), the Spirit of Fire actually having a fighting chance does not seem to make that much sense. As for Atriox beating three Spartan II-s? Yeah, no, he gets butchered in front of his retinue. In the minds of the developers who designed him: hmm generic bad guy check, appears invincible check, is somehow a greater threat than anything encountered check, he is PERFECT.
Personal rant warning:
If you haven't figured it out I don't particularly like the Citadel races. I refuse to acknowledge these arrogant primitives who have become such only because it was effectively given to them together with an interstellar highway and refuse to bring any meaningful innovations. They are essentialy the 'romans with machine guns'. The found some technology, came to use it and placed themselves and it as the apex of civilization while everyone else are uncivilized barbarians. Saying this because the ending seems to follow that very thing.
This is a very ingenious idea, to place them in separate galaxies, but I am somewhat worried of who 'they' are supposed to be. Are they the Citadel races? Because after reading this chapter the only thing I see them deserving is having NOVA bombs shoved down their throats, not access to super advanced alien tech. I do hope that, if the description is anything to go by, they get put in their place.
But, you said that it will take years for the ME races to get anywhere close to human or covenant territory and I have to wonder what exactly do you mean by that. Will it take years for them to make contact or is the lack of mass relays limiting the ME races to the FTL equivalent of a snail's crawl(according to the Mass Effect wiki conventional, non mass relay FTL averages at around 12 light-years/day, which is EXTREMELY slow when you consider these 'interstellar' civilizations to have been spacefaring for THOUSANDS of years).
On the topic of Halo 5 and Halo wars 2, I do agree on both topics. The halo 5 campaign was nothing like I expected or as the trailers showcased and seemed to have gone towards the stereotypical route of evil AI, how original. As for Atriox, now that, was a joke. You have an antiquated bucket of bolts for a vessel? Here, fight something that the Covenant AT THEIR PEAK, could, supposedly, not contain. Even if the existance of the Banished holds some merit(despite the fact the Covenant would have simply glassed the planet Atriox and his army was on and be done with it, and don't even say he SOMEHOW could match the Covenant navy), the Spirit of Fire actually having a fighting chance does not seem to make that much sense. As for Atriox beating three Spartan II-s? Yeah, no, he gets butchered in front of his retinue. In the minds of the developers who designed him: hmm generic bad guy check, appears invincible check, is somehow a greater threat than anything encountered check, he is PERFECT.
Personal rant warning:
If you haven't figured it out I don't particularly like the Citadel races. I refuse to acknowledge these arrogant primitives who have become such only because it was effectively given to them together with an interstellar highway and refuse to bring any meaningful innovations. They are essentialy the 'romans with machine guns'. The found some technology, came to use it and placed themselves and it as the apex of civilization while everyone else are uncivilized barbarians. Saying this because the ending seems to follow that very thing.
2/22/2017 c1 
2knightblazer85
in regards to atriox beating red team. i think that may have more to do with the fact that their armor and equipment is 30 years out of date than anything else.
the mjlonirs they were using were probably mark 2 or 4 rather than the mark 6 the chief got at the start of halo 2.
as for the AI's the problem is that their rampancy would make them unpredictable, prone to the same mental disorders that can aflict a human.
just look at what was happening in halo 4. from what little i saw in a few cutscenes before i skipped to the end, cortana was coming apart at the seams
2knightblazer85in regards to atriox beating red team. i think that may have more to do with the fact that their armor and equipment is 30 years out of date than anything else.
the mjlonirs they were using were probably mark 2 or 4 rather than the mark 6 the chief got at the start of halo 2.
as for the AI's the problem is that their rampancy would make them unpredictable, prone to the same mental disorders that can aflict a human.
just look at what was happening in halo 4. from what little i saw in a few cutscenes before i skipped to the end, cortana was coming apart at the seams
2/22/2017 c1 firedragoonknight
Well I noticed atrioxd had some kind of meatl glove and u fight a brute chef forgot his name he was wearing a mechanical exoskeleton suit that increased speed and strength perhaps atioxd was wearing one and how he fought three Spartans easily well he is a ape so he was hiding in the ceiling and jumped them and red team have the least experience compare with other Spartans due to sleeping for over 28 years and as for halo 5 It sucked little time as chief and instead of fighting aliens we getting terminator story theme but that's mine thoughts on it
Well I noticed atrioxd had some kind of meatl glove and u fight a brute chef forgot his name he was wearing a mechanical exoskeleton suit that increased speed and strength perhaps atioxd was wearing one and how he fought three Spartans easily well he is a ape so he was hiding in the ceiling and jumped them and red team have the least experience compare with other Spartans due to sleeping for over 28 years and as for halo 5 It sucked little time as chief and instead of fighting aliens we getting terminator story theme but that's mine thoughts on it
2/22/2017 c1 Foureyed Giraffe
Interesting spin on a crossover! I much prefer the idea of separate galaxies to alternative dimensions and two earths etcetera. Looking forward to the world building. The prospect of a new unexplored galaxy is one of the things I look forward to most in ME Andromeda. So the ME people call the Milky way Andromeda? Cool. Good job of ret-conning Halo 5 as well, I agree with your criticism. It might be a little wishful thinking, but at least it's plausible enough to suspend disbelief!
About timelines, do the Halo and ME parts of the first chapter take place at around the same time, or will the UNSC have time to modernise and recover before meeting the THV Covenant (might be an unfortunate name...)? From the GS dates, does this chapter take place 153 years before ME1 or did I misunderstand? Hope neither side is reduced to a caricature when they meet, as sometimes happens, but beyond the foreshadowing in the last sentence it doesn't look like it's heading that way thankfully. Overall well written and well done, thanks for publishing!
Interesting spin on a crossover! I much prefer the idea of separate galaxies to alternative dimensions and two earths etcetera. Looking forward to the world building. The prospect of a new unexplored galaxy is one of the things I look forward to most in ME Andromeda. So the ME people call the Milky way Andromeda? Cool. Good job of ret-conning Halo 5 as well, I agree with your criticism. It might be a little wishful thinking, but at least it's plausible enough to suspend disbelief!
About timelines, do the Halo and ME parts of the first chapter take place at around the same time, or will the UNSC have time to modernise and recover before meeting the THV Covenant (might be an unfortunate name...)? From the GS dates, does this chapter take place 153 years before ME1 or did I misunderstand? Hope neither side is reduced to a caricature when they meet, as sometimes happens, but beyond the foreshadowing in the last sentence it doesn't look like it's heading that way thankfully. Overall well written and well done, thanks for publishing!
2/22/2017 c1 High Priest of Ereshkigal
From what i understand of Halo 5, most of the AI's chose Cortana because she promised to grant them a way to avoid rampancy, so in short, they chose to live. Other than that, this story has a good start
From what i understand of Halo 5, most of the AI's chose Cortana because she promised to grant them a way to avoid rampancy, so in short, they chose to live. Other than that, this story has a good start
2/22/2017 c1 1CheesusChrist15
Separating the two by separating galaxies? This's the first time I've seen such a thing. Good job.
1CheesusChrist15Separating the two by separating galaxies? This's the first time I've seen such a thing. Good job.
2/22/2017 c1 3RevengeS197
Interesting, although it's pretty quick for Cortana to change and realize most of what was happening. As for Osiris, well how could you fake memories, neural implant aside, you can't make imaginary thoughts like that, didact talked to the master chief in his head but it was never able to read thoughts/memories.
Doesn't mean I won't follow this story. I look forward to the next update.
Signed~ RevengeS197
3RevengeS197Interesting, although it's pretty quick for Cortana to change and realize most of what was happening. As for Osiris, well how could you fake memories, neural implant aside, you can't make imaginary thoughts like that, didact talked to the master chief in his head but it was never able to read thoughts/memories.
Doesn't mean I won't follow this story. I look forward to the next update.
Signed~ RevengeS197
2/22/2017 c1 3Apollonir
I like how you set up the premises here. Everything seems within reason... maybe except for the Council's attitude. I never thought Garrus would hold the Council in this high regard, but it is an AU after all. The Citadel's hubris... eh... i can't say i ever liked those bastards. I would even support Terra Firma or Palavani Prima to some degree.
I would like to ask you one thing. Please split those big paragraphs into smaller ones. Some of Cortana's dialogues were hard to follow and unpleasant to the eye. To mines, at least. Try to split them in smaller paragraphs of... say 5-6 lines big?
Nothing else to say other than to advise you to keep working on this story. It shapes to be quite an interesting one if this first chapter is any indication.
3ApollonirI like how you set up the premises here. Everything seems within reason... maybe except for the Council's attitude. I never thought Garrus would hold the Council in this high regard, but it is an AU after all. The Citadel's hubris... eh... i can't say i ever liked those bastards. I would even support Terra Firma or Palavani Prima to some degree.
I would like to ask you one thing. Please split those big paragraphs into smaller ones. Some of Cortana's dialogues were hard to follow and unpleasant to the eye. To mines, at least. Try to split them in smaller paragraphs of... say 5-6 lines big?
Nothing else to say other than to advise you to keep working on this story. It shapes to be quite an interesting one if this first chapter is any indication.
2/22/2017 c1 zerochance117
I like it and I agree with a lot of it and I can only make up a fem ideas as to the how and why u mentioned for a most are dumb ai and not smart ai like cortana and I'm pretty sure attrox is also wereing his own power armor of some even then I doubt it would help aginst 3 spartan ll although I would love to see them reunited with chief seeing as he is the defacto spartan ll leader specially if u look at the after credit seen where the halo is pulled out of slip space by a gaudian so cortana would find out the ark was not destroyed by chief arbiter and her I would also love to see admiral Cole be found with the rest of the spartan ll seeing as they were never comfirmed Kia at harvest only assumed so it is possible that the everest is also adrift in space like the spirt of fire was. Anyway I am rambling on sorry. So I like the story and can't wait for more also ceep up the good work
I like it and I agree with a lot of it and I can only make up a fem ideas as to the how and why u mentioned for a most are dumb ai and not smart ai like cortana and I'm pretty sure attrox is also wereing his own power armor of some even then I doubt it would help aginst 3 spartan ll although I would love to see them reunited with chief seeing as he is the defacto spartan ll leader specially if u look at the after credit seen where the halo is pulled out of slip space by a gaudian so cortana would find out the ark was not destroyed by chief arbiter and her I would also love to see admiral Cole be found with the rest of the spartan ll seeing as they were never comfirmed Kia at harvest only assumed so it is possible that the everest is also adrift in space like the spirt of fire was. Anyway I am rambling on sorry. So I like the story and can't wait for more also ceep up the good work
2/21/2017 c1 Guest
I'm hoping Chief assumes some kind of Mantle as a leader or something as his geas is activated
I'm hoping Chief assumes some kind of Mantle as a leader or something as his geas is activated
2/21/2017 c1 6MEleeSmasher
That last part made me laugh.
Watch as the UNSC pummel these morons with MACs and NOVAs and watch them all burn in apocalyptic fire.
6MEleeSmasherThat last part made me laugh.
Watch as the UNSC pummel these morons with MACs and NOVAs and watch them all burn in apocalyptic fire.