for Scion of Sorcery: Phase One: Potter-Strange?9/23 c2 nightwing27
good thing in my stories lily and james never died harry will have a better protection then have his mother died just like the protection in the story second chance: snape return screw the propechy says they need to die they will surive the battle with tom for the 4th time
good thing in my stories lily and james never died harry will have a better protection then have his mother died just like the protection in the story second chance: snape return screw the propechy says they need to die they will surive the battle with tom for the 4th time
9/23 c20 
7DaSalvatore
I'm saying this in an honest attempt to help your skill. Finishing writing a damn story before posting it.
I've lost track of just how many times you've put a "Phase Two/Part Two" update in this story only to then take it and the next part down because you got struck by an idea, wrote it out, and then either didn't know where to go or had some other reason for not only not continuing it, but taking it down.
DZ, you're like one of those real-life Dudleys in the sense of having a second room full of broken and/or discarded items that had been your latest passion project only to get bored/disenchanted with the hard work a few weeks later. Practice some restraint and focus in private so you can work on your stories until they're finished.
7DaSalvatoreI'm saying this in an honest attempt to help your skill. Finishing writing a damn story before posting it.
I've lost track of just how many times you've put a "Phase Two/Part Two" update in this story only to then take it and the next part down because you got struck by an idea, wrote it out, and then either didn't know where to go or had some other reason for not only not continuing it, but taking it down.
DZ, you're like one of those real-life Dudleys in the sense of having a second room full of broken and/or discarded items that had been your latest passion project only to get bored/disenchanted with the hard work a few weeks later. Practice some restraint and focus in private so you can work on your stories until they're finished.
9/22 c5 bunnyobelenus
Ok, I will be honest. I don't really follow or keep up with MCU, DC, or any of that and I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to read this. I was afraid there would be reference that would fly so high over my head that I wouldn't enjoy this. It made me sad because you are in my top 10 writers list. I decided to try and read it anyway. I am glad I did. It is a great story. I just pretend that anyone I don't recognize is an OC. I know they aren't but it helps things make sense.
Ok, I will be honest. I don't really follow or keep up with MCU, DC, or any of that and I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to read this. I was afraid there would be reference that would fly so high over my head that I wouldn't enjoy this. It made me sad because you are in my top 10 writers list. I decided to try and read it anyway. I am glad I did. It is a great story. I just pretend that anyone I don't recognize is an OC. I know they aren't but it helps things make sense.
9/22 c19 8CCSakuraforever
Muy bueno el capítulo muy interesante como le va a Harry en el cementerio con neville más su encuentro con sirius y remus que pasó ahí más que pasara en la reunión
8CCSakuraforeverMuy bueno el capítulo muy interesante como le va a Harry en el cementerio con neville más su encuentro con sirius y remus que pasó ahí más que pasara en la reunión
9/5 c15 erozoth
I don't care how "cool" that oath appears to be, if you fluctuate between a genius 11 years old far more mature than his age to a moron it is not good reading. All I can see is a kid, an idiot that would even take the percent of a chance with his magic on the line for 1-7 years. All he needs is someone to go to Snape and tell him all this and Snape would rather die than take the points, this will not happen because of the story, so for me there is no sense of drama or suspense, it will just not happen, he will get the points deducted, end of story, which is not a good thing when it relies on plot.
I don't care how "cool" that oath appears to be, if you fluctuate between a genius 11 years old far more mature than his age to a moron it is not good reading. All I can see is a kid, an idiot that would even take the percent of a chance with his magic on the line for 1-7 years. All he needs is someone to go to Snape and tell him all this and Snape would rather die than take the points, this will not happen because of the story, so for me there is no sense of drama or suspense, it will just not happen, he will get the points deducted, end of story, which is not a good thing when it relies on plot.
9/5 c13 erozoth
Again, why did you send him to this school? I get it if he was there to actually learn... but at this rate it would require pure plot manipulation to keep him there more than a year.
How did he not see voldy with his eyes? Yes, they are "deactivated" but he used them once already and they were said to see on "their own" or some such.
If he was there for the prophecy why the school? Go investigating, it just seems too random.
Again, why did you send him to this school? I get it if he was there to actually learn... but at this rate it would require pure plot manipulation to keep him there more than a year.
How did he not see voldy with his eyes? Yes, they are "deactivated" but he used them once already and they were said to see on "their own" or some such.
If he was there for the prophecy why the school? Go investigating, it just seems too random.
9/5 c11 erozoth
I think this chapters would have been more... fun, if it was clear he is going in with the intention of making a mess. As is I wonder why did he go, feels like a headache and bad childhood with no benefits.
I think this chapters would have been more... fun, if it was clear he is going in with the intention of making a mess. As is I wonder why did he go, feels like a headache and bad childhood with no benefits.
9/5 c10 erozoth
I always find this over exaggerated shows of power somewhat cringe and unneeded. I would consider and MC OP when he faces Voldy and takes him down in half a chapter, no effort and moves on with his life (or DE or something like that), not endlessly people worshiping the MC with words due to his so called power but when an enemy shows up: Quirrelle, the basilisk, the dementors, etc the story suddenly goes into hard mode and MC stupid mode engaged. Not saying this is it, just making it over the top just feels... without substance
I always find this over exaggerated shows of power somewhat cringe and unneeded. I would consider and MC OP when he faces Voldy and takes him down in half a chapter, no effort and moves on with his life (or DE or something like that), not endlessly people worshiping the MC with words due to his so called power but when an enemy shows up: Quirrelle, the basilisk, the dementors, etc the story suddenly goes into hard mode and MC stupid mode engaged. Not saying this is it, just making it over the top just feels... without substance
9/5 c9 erozoth
While it won't help for many, for some it will if he told them that the Sorcerer supreme exited before their magical society started and Merlin was one of them (in Marvel).
While it won't help for many, for some it will if he told them that the Sorcerer supreme exited before their magical society started and Merlin was one of them (in Marvel).
9/5 c8 erozoth
There a few things in this chapter I would consider... contradicting. Dissing the british magicals but somehow his special special necklace that no one else can hold was easily undone by one of their own artifacts. Obviously this is done so he wont have the sling ring, I feel there are easier ways to achieve that, because... he could just mail it, even if the school protects against it he could hide it outside for emergency.. so on.
He awakened his magic age 11 on the dot, he finds it hard to go into astral realm because of the magic in the train and the school would be worse, how did he go into astral ream between july 31 and sep 1? or is it that the kamar taj energy does not effect?
It seems like a weird thing that one would and the other wouldn't
There a few things in this chapter I would consider... contradicting. Dissing the british magicals but somehow his special special necklace that no one else can hold was easily undone by one of their own artifacts. Obviously this is done so he wont have the sling ring, I feel there are easier ways to achieve that, because... he could just mail it, even if the school protects against it he could hide it outside for emergency.. so on.
He awakened his magic age 11 on the dot, he finds it hard to go into astral realm because of the magic in the train and the school would be worse, how did he go into astral ream between july 31 and sep 1? or is it that the kamar taj energy does not effect?
It seems like a weird thing that one would and the other wouldn't
8/28 c2 3Steve-Arkarian
Does Harry even really qualify? I mean James did adopt him, but biologically when he was born he would not have fit the prophecy as Stephen Strange did not defy Voldemort three times. Or does it count because even though it wasn't biologically James was together with Lily?
3Steve-ArkarianDoes Harry even really qualify? I mean James did adopt him, but biologically when he was born he would not have fit the prophecy as Stephen Strange did not defy Voldemort three times. Or does it count because even though it wasn't biologically James was together with Lily?
8/27 c1 6StrengthAndHonour
you really ought to learn how to use semi-colons. let me give you a a hint: it's like this.
6StrengthAndHonouryou really ought to learn how to use semi-colons. let me give you a a hint: it's like this.
8/4 c15 HairyLimey
I wonder if this Hermione will realise that books are written by people and there's a disturbing number of people out there that are lets face it full of shit.
I wonder if this Hermione will realise that books are written by people and there's a disturbing number of people out there that are lets face it full of shit.
7/23 c1 leblanq
Sorcerer's in the Marvel Universe are channeling Magic from other Dimensions and/or beings to cast their spells. It doesn't matter whether Dr. Strange is Harry's father since his a muggle who learned to borrow energies from somewhere else. He has no magic on his own.
Sorcerer's in the Marvel Universe are channeling Magic from other Dimensions and/or beings to cast their spells. It doesn't matter whether Dr. Strange is Harry's father since his a muggle who learned to borrow energies from somewhere else. He has no magic on his own.