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for Fire Emblem Fates: Bloodlines

4/25 c1 2RedTheVariant
you literally just met them. how on earth would you care about them. I don't how much they resemble the characters from the games. them don't have any emotional connection to you in anyway. how close could you have gotten to them in 2 days?
2/15 c23 Carlieesm
Loving the story cant wait for more
1/2 c23 11Insane Dominator
Been a while since we’ve gotten to see an update from this fanfic. I was looking forward to seeing more of this, and I am thrilled to be back on track of things again. So essentially, we’ve made it to where the group managed to gather their bearings, only to have their bearings yanked out of them when they had to jump into the Bottomless Canyon. That was the overall agenda, along with internal monologues by Kamui and Cayden with their respective dragons preaching towards them. It was still an ideal amount of progress that the group had taken in the story, though let’s see what progress they’ve made.

So, following last chapter, Cayden, Kamui, and Corrin’s little group traversed with Azura across the Bottomless Canyon until they met the edge of it. The amount of detail in the description was pretty good, though admittedly felt very lengthy. That aside, I believe that you did a reasonable job in getting the mentality and visuals of the canyon’s concept of psychological aspects.

The story progressed much like the games did, with the group having to find their way down the canyon’s darkness with Azura leading them. This took considerable amounts of words to convince them to jump, and even longer inner dialogue from Kamui when she had to be preached by her dragon. Wanting answers, her impatience is justified, but you hinted that she was at the very least intelligent enough to read between the lines. You did an ideal amount to get the whole “Revelation” aspect going. With little aid from Cayden’s influence, you’re showing Corrin and Kamui’s personal aspects shifting towards the path that one of the members of the group had initially intended from the start.
During the jumping phase, I liked how you did Jakob and Felicia’s point of views. It was kept at a brief description, but it was enough detail without extending over a long period of the story. And it helps us remember that those characters are still there and have their roles for said story.

You then took a different turn with the story by having a POV change again over towards the Nohrian side with their royal castle. I liked how you took the perspectives of Selena and Beruka; near polar opposites but also very loyal towards Camilla. After Camilla left, we learn that they were rotting in a cell with lamenting monologues by the former. Beruka, however, showed her assassination training mentality and managed to map out everything, including memorize shifts, water, food, and Hans in a drunken stupor explaining he had help from Enigma. With a key in their possession, it was only a matter of timing and cooperation.

In the throne room, King Garon had a conversation with Enigma, the latter being of a direct chain of command, putting him an authority above Garon, much to his chagrin. However, despite Garon’s skepticisms, he was willing to oblige in Anankos giving him his assistance and offered to enhance his soldiers’ powers and abilities. Of course, being power hungry he was, Garon accepted. Though, I was a little surprised at how you went about making his detailing. I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing, but it’s definitely uncommon to hear him think so wisely or think too deeply about certain matters unless it’s Anankos himself. I wouldn’t say it’s in his character, but this one time, since it’s on a technicality of Anankos’ link, I think it shall suffice.
Leo, however, had only imposed a very weak threat to extort information out of Enigma. But due to him being unable to decipher his runes and the liability it could bring, he was forced to leave it be as Enigma gets his way. It was bittersweet, and surely this would help provide a scapegoat for him to find his own path in this revelation.

So, overall, plot-wise, it was another slow chapter. We only got to where Cayden’s group jumped into the Bottomless Canyon behind Azura, with no inclination of what transpired afterward. However, we get perspectives from Selena/Beruka’s situation, and Leo and King Garon conversing with Enigma. It wasn’t a lot of story unfolding, but this chapter had dialogue and situations that are helping smooth out some edges to help get the plot to converge to a single point.

Looking forward to seeing more very soon!

~Insane Dominator
10/25/2021 c1 thedark2
I do not know what is more pathetic and stupid of an oc gamer fanfic, the one who writes it or those who read it
10/23/2021 c23 2Ethan Kironus
Two grammatical errors to point out: when you write "unexplained shroud of malice seemed to perpetuate," "perpetuate" should probably be penetrate or permeate instead.

And with "two-sense," as in "...Beruka adding her two-sense," you misspelled it when it should be "two-cents."

Otherwise, great chapter. You certainly managed to shape your writing to fit the characters' personalities.
10/23/2021 c23 2Mark The Gamer of Grima
well, i certainly wasnt expecting this! good job anyway!
5/29/2021 c6 Forgotmyusername
It would have been better to claim Grima as the MC's father (or something like that)
5/27/2021 c22 1RDeathClawProductions
Wait, this story updated? What is this madness!

All joking aside though, like this little chapter and how it played out.
5/25/2021 c22 MasterBlade47
I don't mind my first reaction when I saw that you updated (which the title says perfectly. Fuckin finally) was to freak the fuck out and reread the story because the story is pretty great. Also cant wait to see how the meeting between Camilla, Takumi, Kamui, and Cayden will go. Still good luck since I understand that life kicked most of our asses.
5/24/2021 c22 2Mark The Gamer of Grima
you did well buddy, you did well, lets both keep up the good work!
5/5/2021 c21 jabraha
Really hope this keeps going. Its really good!
3/30/2021 c21 1RDeathClawProductions
So...it's almost been a year...can I get my pitchforks and bazooka's ready now?
1/15/2021 c3 Guest
So far so good
9/7/2020 c21 Cloudquinn
Interesting chapter sort of reminds me of a story at Wattpad were someone wrote an Isekai story with Fire Emblem Fates same with Zangetsu sword wields the main character I don't know why but his story is one to check out too
9/6/2020 c21 5eseer
enigmatic man

"yo, cay, wanna see what its like to be bitch slapped by a meteor?
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