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for It Was You

7/3/2017 c1 Guest
Just a tip:
When writing in 1st person, you can't switch POV to third in the middle of the story like you did in the paragraph where Ty and Sully are talking about Olivia. In 1st person, Olivia can't know what Ty and Sully are saying unless she's there to witness it. Such switches in your narrative can throw readers off.
3/21/2017 c1 dorvell
Now hold on, you can't leave that one up in the air! What's Olivia's connection to Sully?

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