for Feathers and Flesh8/3/2023 c8 
1Sankarea396
GIVE. ME. THE. NEXT. CHAPTER! Update plss you cant end it like that and not have everyone's reaction!
1Sankarea396GIVE. ME. THE. NEXT. CHAPTER! Update plss you cant end it like that and not have everyone's reaction!
7/11/2023 c8 Brockster550
Good to see Harry and his best friends getting along with Fleur, her best friend, and two of their fellow students. Nice to see Harry having a duel with Aimee and that they were fairly decent. Harry just can’t seem to avoid trouble as it always finds him. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!
Good to see Harry and his best friends getting along with Fleur, her best friend, and two of their fellow students. Nice to see Harry having a duel with Aimee and that they were fairly decent. Harry just can’t seem to avoid trouble as it always finds him. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!
7/11/2023 c7 Brockster550
I wonder if Harry will be dropping Divination soon, since there’s no point to stay in a class that you hate. The rumour mill will be discussing Harry throwing off the Imperius Curse completely, which will be embarrassing to Harry. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!
I wonder if Harry will be dropping Divination soon, since there’s no point to stay in a class that you hate. The rumour mill will be discussing Harry throwing off the Imperius Curse completely, which will be embarrassing to Harry. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!
7/11/2023 c6 Brockster550
Hermione is going to be surprised to find out how Fleur will teach her spells that’s part of the Beauxbatons cirriculum. Good to see Harry and Sirius having that talk about Fleur’s flirting. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!
Hermione is going to be surprised to find out how Fleur will teach her spells that’s part of the Beauxbatons cirriculum. Good to see Harry and Sirius having that talk about Fleur’s flirting. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!
4/30/2023 c6 MattBlack
After Aimee talked to him he's still unsure? Jesus christ, he's so thick Ron seems a genius... She fucking spelled it out for him... Is he deaf?
After Aimee talked to him he's still unsure? Jesus christ, he's so thick Ron seems a genius... She fucking spelled it out for him... Is he deaf?
4/30/2023 c3 MattBlack
Ron "enjoying life" at Hogwarts is quite disrespectful towards his parents... I don't think it's that cheap to put seven kids through Hogwarts, so basically he's pissing on their sacrifice...
Ron "enjoying life" at Hogwarts is quite disrespectful towards his parents... I don't think it's that cheap to put seven kids through Hogwarts, so basically he's pissing on their sacrifice...
4/27/2023 c1 Spider of Dreams
An this is how you end up getting mass reported, Don't post updates as new chapters in your fic, post it in your bio.
An this is how you end up getting mass reported, Don't post updates as new chapters in your fic, post it in your bio.
3/1/2023 c7 iamshinydragonmist
can't wait for the selection will maturity win out the night or will reconciliation be needed and if the later how long till it starts
can't wait for the selection will maturity win out the night or will reconciliation be needed and if the later how long till it starts
2/21/2023 c5 Guest
Show, don’t tell.
Fleur and Harry meet. You show this. Good.
They bond over a month of letters. You say in a single line. Eh, I guess we have to take your word for it, but this does nothing to attach the reader to the building relationship.
We’re skipping over development that we’re just told happened. If you don’t want to cover writing letters for a month, fair enough. That’s a bit boring. Then instead, why not let them be out of touch and then discover a friendship at the castle? Or have Harry at home with Sirius. Show Harry training, and then, as he ends the training for the day, getting a letter from Fleur. Explain they’ve exchanged a couple letters already and give us one example of the kind of thing they write.
The story seems to be flying over things like Harry training over the summer, building the actual relationship with Fleur, etc. which makes it feel a bit like an outline/rough draft, half way to goal. But the story is in there if you could go back give us the significant moments you made a point to mention without showing as they happened.
Your author notes also fill up a good chunk of your word count. You may consider getting a little further into the story before devoting so much real estate to them. We are only averaging one chapter a year, after all.
You mentioned 20 plus more chapters, and my first thought was you’d be done with fourth year by around 2043. Lol
Obviously I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t find some story elements I enjoy, or if I didn’t think these improvements we out of your wheelhouse. There is something here.
Show, don’t tell.
Fleur and Harry meet. You show this. Good.
They bond over a month of letters. You say in a single line. Eh, I guess we have to take your word for it, but this does nothing to attach the reader to the building relationship.
We’re skipping over development that we’re just told happened. If you don’t want to cover writing letters for a month, fair enough. That’s a bit boring. Then instead, why not let them be out of touch and then discover a friendship at the castle? Or have Harry at home with Sirius. Show Harry training, and then, as he ends the training for the day, getting a letter from Fleur. Explain they’ve exchanged a couple letters already and give us one example of the kind of thing they write.
The story seems to be flying over things like Harry training over the summer, building the actual relationship with Fleur, etc. which makes it feel a bit like an outline/rough draft, half way to goal. But the story is in there if you could go back give us the significant moments you made a point to mention without showing as they happened.
Your author notes also fill up a good chunk of your word count. You may consider getting a little further into the story before devoting so much real estate to them. We are only averaging one chapter a year, after all.
You mentioned 20 plus more chapters, and my first thought was you’d be done with fourth year by around 2043. Lol
Obviously I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t find some story elements I enjoy, or if I didn’t think these improvements we out of your wheelhouse. There is something here.
2/21/2023 c5 Guest
That was a long author note…
This is the problem with stories that are about a developing relationship with two people. If you give both points of view, then there’s no discovery and wonder from your reader.
We already know what both both people feel and think. So instead of going along the ride with one of them, we just have to wait for both sides to catch up.
See how one way is interesting and the other is just twiddling thumbs? This is why readers are frustrated and you feel like you had to remind readers that the characters don’t know what we know.
Instead, pick one character to follow and let us learn about other characters from that one perspective. Then we will also either not be sure an older, pretty witch likes Harry more than friends, or we’ll be unsure why Harry hasn’t made the move after Fleur put herself out there more than usual.
One perspective, rather than both, would also help remove some of the more Mary Sue vibes for Fleur’s friend, as she goes back and forth between them this chapter. Because we wouldn’t have both moments.
That was a long author note…
This is the problem with stories that are about a developing relationship with two people. If you give both points of view, then there’s no discovery and wonder from your reader.
We already know what both both people feel and think. So instead of going along the ride with one of them, we just have to wait for both sides to catch up.
See how one way is interesting and the other is just twiddling thumbs? This is why readers are frustrated and you feel like you had to remind readers that the characters don’t know what we know.
Instead, pick one character to follow and let us learn about other characters from that one perspective. Then we will also either not be sure an older, pretty witch likes Harry more than friends, or we’ll be unsure why Harry hasn’t made the move after Fleur put herself out there more than usual.
One perspective, rather than both, would also help remove some of the more Mary Sue vibes for Fleur’s friend, as she goes back and forth between them this chapter. Because we wouldn’t have both moments.
2/10/2023 c5 arata7kasuga
I think fleur shouldn't wait for Harry to make a move, she knows she is the first girl he likes and she knows how she and reserved he is. I think it's important that she makes her interest blatantly obvious rather than try to be subtle and coy
I think fleur shouldn't wait for Harry to make a move, she knows she is the first girl he likes and she knows how she and reserved he is. I think it's important that she makes her interest blatantly obvious rather than try to be subtle and coy
1/29/2023 c5 Brockster550
Good to see Dumbledore admit his mistake in placing Harry with the abusive Dursleys. The blood protection charms were a load of tripe, since Lily’s sacrificial protection was based on love and not blood. Even Dumbledore claimed to have cast the blood protection charms near the end of the fifth book, the first book never showed him casting such charms. All Dumbledore did was tell Harry good luck before leaving to return to Hogwarts. He was lucky in that Harry didn’t wander off that night because babies wake up several times throughout the night and have a tendency to wander off without supervision.
Nice to see Hermione putting in the effort to befriend Fleur, something that never happened in canon since Hermione and the female Weasleys were very spiteful towards Fleur. Good to see Aimee having that talk with Harry and warning him not to hurt Fleur in any way since he would hurt Aimee in some way given that she and Fleur are besties and are like sisters in some way. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!
Good to see Dumbledore admit his mistake in placing Harry with the abusive Dursleys. The blood protection charms were a load of tripe, since Lily’s sacrificial protection was based on love and not blood. Even Dumbledore claimed to have cast the blood protection charms near the end of the fifth book, the first book never showed him casting such charms. All Dumbledore did was tell Harry good luck before leaving to return to Hogwarts. He was lucky in that Harry didn’t wander off that night because babies wake up several times throughout the night and have a tendency to wander off without supervision.
Nice to see Hermione putting in the effort to befriend Fleur, something that never happened in canon since Hermione and the female Weasleys were very spiteful towards Fleur. Good to see Aimee having that talk with Harry and warning him not to hurt Fleur in any way since he would hurt Aimee in some way given that she and Fleur are besties and are like sisters in some way. Great chapter, keep up the hard work!