FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Breaking Light

6/23/2019 c1 mckertis
English, motherfucker, do you speak it ? (c)
Seriously, WTF is this shit, "chugged softly" ? Do you just type random shit and post it, not even reading it through once ?
6/21/2019 c2 Banjo the Fox
Excellently done second chapter, though Kaguya manipulating Hinata is... an odd choice.
6/20/2019 c1 Banjo the Fox
Wow... Loved it! Truly well done first chapter.
6/20/2019 c7 diegoossorio1
ok i understand just please do not discontinue or abandon this story please
1/13/2019 c6 2Ilovebashing
a good story. I like it.

but you should really contact a beta reader. many dialogue mix with action due to missingsign.
10/30/2018 c6 Sara
So much drama...goodness. is konohamaru gonna be ok
10/17/2018 c6 4RavenShadow
I just could not stop reading this story. The only problem is word usage, in several places the wrong word was used. I can help you with that if you like. Just PM me and let me know.
10/8/2018 c6 Fuyuriku
Hmm. Ignoring the numerous amounts of mistakes and typos in the story, it's a decent enough of a read. Kind of. So far I like the intent for the story the most. Not much of it is fleshed out - feels like an intro arc so far.
Jiraiyas character portrayal seems the best so far.
_
As for the grammar: Using "Grammarly" and manually going over the mistakes and giving it another read would be best if you can't find a Beta.
I usually note up minor mistakes and such myself, but they were too numerous. O well.
_
Thank you for the read.
10/7/2018 c6 diegoossorio1
Es bueno que hayas vuelto a actualizar espero que el proximo tarde menos
8/19/2018 c5 1ShadowRealmComics
This is an interesting story. I look forward to seeing how it goes in the future.
6/9/2018 c5 diegoossorio1
i think that in the next chapter hinata need starting develope some physical changes because have kaguya inside must not only mentally
6/6/2018 c5 4RavenShadow
I just read this story for the first time and I really like it! Yes, it gas some flaws, but you are correct the last chapter was easier to read. Despite this, the story has a really interesting concept and originally that isn't seen often. I'm not sure how it stayed off my radar for so long, but I am glad to have found it. Keep up the good work, I'm really looking forward to your next chapter.
5/31/2018 c1 1InsanityDeath
How you portrayed Kakashi's Guilt was amazing
Honestly the best I ever seen
4/15/2018 c4 diegoossorio1
Pleasd updated soon i like the idea of the story i didnt saw it before
4/4/2018 c2 Fenrir ragnarok
It seems to be a good story so far, but I don't know if it was how you wanted her to be or not, but I find your hinata plainly creepy, err in fact it's not really the good word but all in all, I find it disturbing, so, I can't continue to read it, but the story itself is good and I at least wanted to wish you good luck for the rest of the story before I quit
30 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service