for Separated4/4/2017 c1 
6THB4
Who adopted Ruby because I hope we get a chapter or two about Ruby and her new family. Will Weiss get adopted to or dose she become a bitch to everyone so no one wants her. I wonder when will they meet again and will they remember each other. I look forward to what will come next.
6THB4Who adopted Ruby because I hope we get a chapter or two about Ruby and her new family. Will Weiss get adopted to or dose she become a bitch to everyone so no one wants her. I wonder when will they meet again and will they remember each other. I look forward to what will come next.
4/3/2017 c1 8Celestial-pricess
ok, now you have me hooked up. Maybe the roles of Ruby and Weiss are reversed. So that Ruby is a "Schnee" and Weiss becomes a "Rose"
8Celestial-pricessok, now you have me hooked up. Maybe the roles of Ruby and Weiss are reversed. So that Ruby is a "Schnee" and Weiss becomes a "Rose"
3/30/2017 c1 1Tosiaki
I think you have a good start, but I can't but feel as if your skills in writing in general may not yet be all that developed. Part of it may have to do with length, generally because it feels as if a story that involves more emotional investment requires more time and well, "stuff" in general than you'd need in a quick thriller like horror. If you get what I mean? I guess what I'm recommending is first to just make stuff longer... meaningful stuff of course, not just pointless stuff.
Perhaps the first think I'd think about is for more background information on what's going on, but perhaps you might do something unexpected such as go to a different scene entirely before coming back to this one, I guess I'll have to see what you do with this. A good story is not predictable! But also logical and not just random.
1TosiakiI think you have a good start, but I can't but feel as if your skills in writing in general may not yet be all that developed. Part of it may have to do with length, generally because it feels as if a story that involves more emotional investment requires more time and well, "stuff" in general than you'd need in a quick thriller like horror. If you get what I mean? I guess what I'm recommending is first to just make stuff longer... meaningful stuff of course, not just pointless stuff.
Perhaps the first think I'd think about is for more background information on what's going on, but perhaps you might do something unexpected such as go to a different scene entirely before coming back to this one, I guess I'll have to see what you do with this. A good story is not predictable! But also logical and not just random.
3/29/2017 c1 8Enigma0434
Interesting story. So is it a WhiteRose based one I'm guessing? Look forward to their reunion.
8Enigma0434Interesting story. So is it a WhiteRose based one I'm guessing? Look forward to their reunion.