
10/23/2020 c34
19Dragon and Sword Master
Had to reread the whole story since its been a while, but in doing so I realized once again what a wonderful story this is. Well done.

Had to reread the whole story since its been a while, but in doing so I realized once again what a wonderful story this is. Well done.
10/20/2020 c34 BillBrink
In this chapter you had Harry disarming Albus, by force, then had Albus hold out the wand, giving it to Harry. The disarmament spell would have already given the Elder wand to Harry. Harry would have felt the power transfer to him as soon as the wand flew into his hand.
I like your characterization of Harry as he has grown stronger, smarter, more independent, and angry at Albus for his past sins. It certainly is understandable after what Albus has cost him. I question, however, what would make Harry suddenly forgive Albus as he leaves him. Why would he suddenly release all his anger from the man who was the source of all his misery and who didn't even ask him for his forgiveness? It is a mark of deep maturity and understanding that would be unusual in a 16 year old boy, but certainly one that is applaudable. Perhaps you could have one of the girls ask him that when he returns from his meeting.
In this chapter you had Harry disarming Albus, by force, then had Albus hold out the wand, giving it to Harry. The disarmament spell would have already given the Elder wand to Harry. Harry would have felt the power transfer to him as soon as the wand flew into his hand.
I like your characterization of Harry as he has grown stronger, smarter, more independent, and angry at Albus for his past sins. It certainly is understandable after what Albus has cost him. I question, however, what would make Harry suddenly forgive Albus as he leaves him. Why would he suddenly release all his anger from the man who was the source of all his misery and who didn't even ask him for his forgiveness? It is a mark of deep maturity and understanding that would be unusual in a 16 year old boy, but certainly one that is applaudable. Perhaps you could have one of the girls ask him that when he returns from his meeting.
10/20/2020 c26 BillBrink
In the last chapter when you priced the rings at GG25,000 each, I thought, those were pretty pricey rings. Obviously for 7 of them the figure would be GG175,000. Converting that to pounds would make it 5 times higher. So to make the total in this chapter only GG13,000 , or GG1,857 ea, it seemed much more realistic. However, you ought to consider correcting Daphne's original figure in Chapter 25.
I am enjoying your work. Thanks for sharing it with us.
In the last chapter when you priced the rings at GG25,000 each, I thought, those were pretty pricey rings. Obviously for 7 of them the figure would be GG175,000. Converting that to pounds would make it 5 times higher. So to make the total in this chapter only GG13,000 , or GG1,857 ea, it seemed much more realistic. However, you ought to consider correcting Daphne's original figure in Chapter 25.
I am enjoying your work. Thanks for sharing it with us.
10/21/2020 c34 Redwing1co
Just finished all chapters and enjoyed it hope you continue the story thanks
Just finished all chapters and enjoyed it hope you continue the story thanks
10/20/2020 c10 chuysaurus
This story desperately needs a beta or an editor. The grammar, incorrect word choice, and spelling make it very difficult to read at times
This story desperately needs a beta or an editor. The grammar, incorrect word choice, and spelling make it very difficult to read at times
10/20/2020 c17 Qarz
This portrayal of Voldemort is probably the worst i háve ever seen and he's not hard to write. He seems to be completely insane with nothing to show for himself but power. He also kills much more of his own followers than the opposition and often with no reason.
Believe it or not but insane madmen do not attain followers, and if yes not enough to be a force. Anyone with a dash of common sense, and that's practically everyone even in this story, would never follow this Voldemort.
This portrayal of Voldemort is probably the worst i háve ever seen and he's not hard to write. He seems to be completely insane with nothing to show for himself but power. He also kills much more of his own followers than the opposition and often with no reason.
Believe it or not but insane madmen do not attain followers, and if yes not enough to be a force. Anyone with a dash of common sense, and that's practically everyone even in this story, would never follow this Voldemort.
10/20/2020 c15 Qarz
So she knows her father will be killed and does nothing about it? What's the point of knowing the future if she can do nothing about it? It's a dumb premise.
So she knows her father will be killed and does nothing about it? What's the point of knowing the future if she can do nothing about it? It's a dumb premise.
10/19/2020 c34 Ecks Serevi
I'm really liking your story so far! looking forward to what happens next!
I'm really liking your story so far! looking forward to what happens next!
10/19/2020 c34 csheila
Great set up for next chapter.
Take your time getting back. Real life can really suck right now. Stay safe
Great set up for next chapter.
Take your time getting back. Real life can really suck right now. Stay safe