for Not My Idea of a Good Time4/11/2017 c1 
48reppad98
Well, I've read quite some stories of yours, but I really have to say that your writing style improved immensely. Seriously, this looks great, you can be proud of yourself! The summary already drew me in because this sounded like a fun story with probably some romance. And it was indeed that :) My one tip would be that while it's very nice to have the whole group together, that the cast is really big and that it's difficult to really give everyone a fair amount of screen time. So my suggestion would be that if you do want to write about the whole group together, that you cut it into pieces, focusing on several groups doing several things. Not with POV switches or anything, but say one scene focusing on the pool table and the bickering going on, one scene focusing on the bar and the discussions there, and so on. But nonetheless this was an enjoyable and well-written story, and it's obvious you did a lot of research for this story, very well done!
Thank you for writing this, it was a very nice story, and keep writing! !
48reppad98Well, I've read quite some stories of yours, but I really have to say that your writing style improved immensely. Seriously, this looks great, you can be proud of yourself! The summary already drew me in because this sounded like a fun story with probably some romance. And it was indeed that :) My one tip would be that while it's very nice to have the whole group together, that the cast is really big and that it's difficult to really give everyone a fair amount of screen time. So my suggestion would be that if you do want to write about the whole group together, that you cut it into pieces, focusing on several groups doing several things. Not with POV switches or anything, but say one scene focusing on the pool table and the bickering going on, one scene focusing on the bar and the discussions there, and so on. But nonetheless this was an enjoyable and well-written story, and it's obvious you did a lot of research for this story, very well done!
Thank you for writing this, it was a very nice story, and keep writing! !
4/10/2017 c1 27HolyVengeance
Wow! Dawn, Drew, and Nate partied really hard. It's very easy to want to drink the sweeter alcoholic beverages more than the bitter alcoholic drinks.
27HolyVengeanceWow! Dawn, Drew, and Nate partied really hard. It's very easy to want to drink the sweeter alcoholic beverages more than the bitter alcoholic drinks.