for Common Sense: BtS3/13/2022 c2 Schazmen
Ohho this was cool! And a shame it won't be canon to the story, but still, very cool!
Ohho this was cool! And a shame it won't be canon to the story, but still, very cool!
3/13/2022 c1 Schazmen
This chapter shows well what makes Giovanni so dangerous and effective. He's reasonable, but firm. Direct, and doesn't try to swindle over his own workers, like so... freaking... MANY evil organizations do.
This chapter shows well what makes Giovanni so dangerous and effective. He's reasonable, but firm. Direct, and doesn't try to swindle over his own workers, like so... freaking... MANY evil organizations do.
10/2/2021 c2 
8GainaxVel3o
The battle makes me sad. CS!Ash lost a lot of the innocence and charm that Satoshi had, flawed as he was, thanks to his battles with Team Rocket pushing him to get serious. I like how in character you kept Satoshi for this, and I definitely loved the moment where he defended Charizard from Pikachu while he also stood his ground with him. I was rooting for him the whole way even if I knew he would lose.
8GainaxVel3oThe battle makes me sad. CS!Ash lost a lot of the innocence and charm that Satoshi had, flawed as he was, thanks to his battles with Team Rocket pushing him to get serious. I like how in character you kept Satoshi for this, and I definitely loved the moment where he defended Charizard from Pikachu while he also stood his ground with him. I was rooting for him the whole way even if I knew he would lose.
9/13/2021 c2 10Detective Desires
Cool story. I like the idea of the canon characters meeting the others from the Common Sense story. Can you do one where canon Jessie and James meet the other Jessie and James or even one where canon Ash meets the other Jessie and James? (or both) It would be funny to see Satoshi's Team Rocket and Satoshi gawk at Ash's Team Rocket. Of course, I guess Ash would have to save them, but it would still be kind of cool to see.
10Detective DesiresCool story. I like the idea of the canon characters meeting the others from the Common Sense story. Can you do one where canon Jessie and James meet the other Jessie and James or even one where canon Ash meets the other Jessie and James? (or both) It would be funny to see Satoshi's Team Rocket and Satoshi gawk at Ash's Team Rocket. Of course, I guess Ash would have to save them, but it would still be kind of cool to see.
11/23/2019 c1 MLPlover
Maybe have Ash and co. getting strange new powers? May being able to hypnotize people with her singing, Cilan being able to create shared dreams, etc.
Rarity’s best pony~
Maybe have Ash and co. getting strange new powers? May being able to hypnotize people with her singing, Cilan being able to create shared dreams, etc.
Rarity’s best pony~
6/20/2019 c2 WolfGoddessSyren
Okay, some things to cover here.
1. I love that Squirtle values his sunglasses more than his own well-being. It proves that, even though he's with Ash now, he still remembers and values his squad and their time together.
2. I like that you have Ash's Pokemon battling without needing Ash to command them a lot of the time. Something that always bothered me in the anime was that the Pokemon would just STAND there during battle unless their trainer gave them a command. I know that might be supposed to show that they're obedient; not battling without their trainer's say-so, but it just annoyed me, like they couldn't figure out that they should dodge an attack unless their trainer told them to. This remedies that, and actually have the Pokemon coming up with their own strategies.
3. I was wondering if Charizard was still going to be disobedient to Satoshi. I didn't really like in the anime how Charmeleon, and then more severely, Charizard, completely disobeyed canon Ash, even though he was arguably only alive because Ash and Brock got him to the Pokemon Center before he died of neglect. I'm willing to bet that your version of Ash isn't going to have that problem when/if Charmander evolves.
4. I also have one question about the main story. I understand why Tentacool can spend time out of the water without coming to harm, but what about Horsea? I know some water Pokemon like Staryu and Kingler don't have to be in the water full-time, but it seems like Horsea would be one of those that needs to stay in the water or it would...dry out? Is that the right term? I'm not sure. Does it have some kind of protection to keep it safe while it's on land?
Okay, some things to cover here.
1. I love that Squirtle values his sunglasses more than his own well-being. It proves that, even though he's with Ash now, he still remembers and values his squad and their time together.
2. I like that you have Ash's Pokemon battling without needing Ash to command them a lot of the time. Something that always bothered me in the anime was that the Pokemon would just STAND there during battle unless their trainer gave them a command. I know that might be supposed to show that they're obedient; not battling without their trainer's say-so, but it just annoyed me, like they couldn't figure out that they should dodge an attack unless their trainer told them to. This remedies that, and actually have the Pokemon coming up with their own strategies.
3. I was wondering if Charizard was still going to be disobedient to Satoshi. I didn't really like in the anime how Charmeleon, and then more severely, Charizard, completely disobeyed canon Ash, even though he was arguably only alive because Ash and Brock got him to the Pokemon Center before he died of neglect. I'm willing to bet that your version of Ash isn't going to have that problem when/if Charmander evolves.
4. I also have one question about the main story. I understand why Tentacool can spend time out of the water without coming to harm, but what about Horsea? I know some water Pokemon like Staryu and Kingler don't have to be in the water full-time, but it seems like Horsea would be one of those that needs to stay in the water or it would...dry out? Is that the right term? I'm not sure. Does it have some kind of protection to keep it safe while it's on land?
3/4/2019 c2 123Lg
I actually like this. Unlike most people who do thus scinero, you actually made Canon!Ash in character. His crazy strategies were there, and over all it was nice to see Your Ash acknowledge Canon Ash's own strengths. Love it.
I actually like this. Unlike most people who do thus scinero, you actually made Canon!Ash in character. His crazy strategies were there, and over all it was nice to see Your Ash acknowledge Canon Ash's own strengths. Love it.
9/2/2017 c4 Bored321
Won’t the effect of Bulbasaur passing along second-hand information really have such a massive effect on Charamander? I feel it’d work better if he were despairing over something genuinely tragic. I love the continuity and the fact that the effects of Butterbee’s broken heart are *still* being felt, but the cause behind isn’t something I can really take seriously.
He can’t figure out what “Sit there and think about what you’ve done” means? Isn’t that a parent’s go-to response for trying to discipline their kid? Practically everyone’s heard it at-least once in their lives. Even if can’t grasp the concept of abusing a sentient species being wrong, shouldn’t he get that the average person frown’s upon the systemic abuse of Pokemon (especially when they’re your own)?
Being suspended for a full decade is considered a light sentence? Wow, these guys take Pokemon abuse dead seriously.
Won’t the effect of Bulbasaur passing along second-hand information really have such a massive effect on Charamander? I feel it’d work better if he were despairing over something genuinely tragic. I love the continuity and the fact that the effects of Butterbee’s broken heart are *still* being felt, but the cause behind isn’t something I can really take seriously.
He can’t figure out what “Sit there and think about what you’ve done” means? Isn’t that a parent’s go-to response for trying to discipline their kid? Practically everyone’s heard it at-least once in their lives. Even if can’t grasp the concept of abusing a sentient species being wrong, shouldn’t he get that the average person frown’s upon the systemic abuse of Pokemon (especially when they’re your own)?
Being suspended for a full decade is considered a light sentence? Wow, these guys take Pokemon abuse dead seriously.
8/18/2017 c4 5BrightNova169
I always wondered how the Pokémon world handled stuff like meat. The meat substitute sounds pretty cool. Most fanfics I read never really address that topic or have the characters become vegetarians. It must take some pretty advanced tech and science to make that 'meat'.
I wouldn't be surprised if Team Rocket has a few of their agents working to dip into the profits.
The character development for Ash's newest members and Charmander was really good. They're all fleshing out as individuals and reacting appropriately to Ash's recent loss.
Maybe if Ash learns that Jigglypuff can read, he could have her help teach his Pokémon to do the same. It could give him an edge in the future even if it would be time-consuming.
If Jigglypuff learned to read in an undignified manner, perhaps it was because of her previous owner. She said 'owner', not 'trainer', so that implied (to me) she wasn't allowed to battle and was kept around and treated as a doll, thus leading to her love for battle and hatred of being called anything synonymous to 'cute'. And said owner taught her to read in a really childish/overly cutesy manner which Jigglypuff came to despise. Just my theory.
What I did not expect was for DAMIAN to return! That was a curveball!
I guess he got mileage out of that phone call. Professor Oak can do just about anything.
While part of me was furious that he got bailed, I calmed down when I saw he was going through a form of house arrest. Getting robbed by Team Rocket doesn't excuse abusing and abandoning so many Pokémon and nearly caused Charmander to die.
You do a really good job fleshing out characters in this story, offering flashbacks at appropriate times and mentions of past events to keep things interesting. This has to be the first story I've read where I actually felt something more than disgust and rage towards Damian. I actually felt pity for him when the unknown trainer broke his spirit and made him go on that downward spiral. I also would love to see that unknown trainer (who I think is Paul) to suffer some major karma in the future.
Charmander's evolution was definitely a treat to see and very well done. Even better since he taught himself Rock Smash. I felt really pumped to see all his training pay off. However, since he practically evolved through the Power of Friendship and the Power of Hate, I could still believe Ash might have trouble controlling him. Whenever the TRio gets involved, it would seem likely that Charmeleon would attempt to inflict grievous injuries even against Ash's orders. This conflict between Charmeleon's rage and Ash's attempt to keep hold of his morals might cause problems in the future.
Since Ash suffered so heavily because of Team Rocket, would he be willing to make them suffer in return if he were to find an opportunity? The best moment I could think of would be when they learned that James was an heir and engaged to an overbearing fiancée. He could help capture James and leave him to the (limited) mercy of his family.
Well, this really helped set the stage for future chapters in the main story and side stories. Ash is sure to be in for a bittersweet reunion soon. And it's really about time Oak learned about what's been going down. Thanks again for the update.
-BrightNova169
5BrightNova169I always wondered how the Pokémon world handled stuff like meat. The meat substitute sounds pretty cool. Most fanfics I read never really address that topic or have the characters become vegetarians. It must take some pretty advanced tech and science to make that 'meat'.
I wouldn't be surprised if Team Rocket has a few of their agents working to dip into the profits.
The character development for Ash's newest members and Charmander was really good. They're all fleshing out as individuals and reacting appropriately to Ash's recent loss.
Maybe if Ash learns that Jigglypuff can read, he could have her help teach his Pokémon to do the same. It could give him an edge in the future even if it would be time-consuming.
If Jigglypuff learned to read in an undignified manner, perhaps it was because of her previous owner. She said 'owner', not 'trainer', so that implied (to me) she wasn't allowed to battle and was kept around and treated as a doll, thus leading to her love for battle and hatred of being called anything synonymous to 'cute'. And said owner taught her to read in a really childish/overly cutesy manner which Jigglypuff came to despise. Just my theory.
What I did not expect was for DAMIAN to return! That was a curveball!
I guess he got mileage out of that phone call. Professor Oak can do just about anything.
While part of me was furious that he got bailed, I calmed down when I saw he was going through a form of house arrest. Getting robbed by Team Rocket doesn't excuse abusing and abandoning so many Pokémon and nearly caused Charmander to die.
You do a really good job fleshing out characters in this story, offering flashbacks at appropriate times and mentions of past events to keep things interesting. This has to be the first story I've read where I actually felt something more than disgust and rage towards Damian. I actually felt pity for him when the unknown trainer broke his spirit and made him go on that downward spiral. I also would love to see that unknown trainer (who I think is Paul) to suffer some major karma in the future.
Charmander's evolution was definitely a treat to see and very well done. Even better since he taught himself Rock Smash. I felt really pumped to see all his training pay off. However, since he practically evolved through the Power of Friendship and the Power of Hate, I could still believe Ash might have trouble controlling him. Whenever the TRio gets involved, it would seem likely that Charmeleon would attempt to inflict grievous injuries even against Ash's orders. This conflict between Charmeleon's rage and Ash's attempt to keep hold of his morals might cause problems in the future.
Since Ash suffered so heavily because of Team Rocket, would he be willing to make them suffer in return if he were to find an opportunity? The best moment I could think of would be when they learned that James was an heir and engaged to an overbearing fiancée. He could help capture James and leave him to the (limited) mercy of his family.
Well, this really helped set the stage for future chapters in the main story and side stories. Ash is sure to be in for a bittersweet reunion soon. And it's really about time Oak learned about what's been going down. Thanks again for the update.
-BrightNova169
8/16/2017 c3 BrightNova169
Nice to see the Squirtle Squad is doing all right, relatively speaking. Even though they're working for Team Rocket, their teamwork remains stellar.
Didn't expect Viper to be such a reasonable drill sergeant. The training methods for Protect and Rock Smash were harsh, but that was it. Maybe it's because of Team Rocket's standards to avoid causing excessive harm to their Pokémon, but it's nice he at least acknowledged the squad's abilities, even offering some praise.
Seeing each Squirtle get their own personality was a plus, showing how they handle their new situation.
One question: how exactly would a Pokémon form a Protect barrier? Do they channel some innate energy and harden it into a nigh-impregnable shield? How do they tap into that supposed energy?
Man, once Squirtle meets his old team again, excrement is going to hit the fan. I seriously doubt their reunion will be a happy one, even if the squad is still loyal to him. I really hope that those four can be freed in the end and stick together. Though something like that will probably be a long way off.
I'm also curious if Squirtle could take down his team if needed. Ash has made sure Squirtle got better with close combat and acrobatics, but how well would the Tiny Turtle handle multiple opponents?
Well, it was pretty neat to see the Squirtle Squad is still going strong, even stronger with their training and despite working as thieves. I'll be looking forward to their future adventures and hopeful rescue.
-BrightNova169
Nice to see the Squirtle Squad is doing all right, relatively speaking. Even though they're working for Team Rocket, their teamwork remains stellar.
Didn't expect Viper to be such a reasonable drill sergeant. The training methods for Protect and Rock Smash were harsh, but that was it. Maybe it's because of Team Rocket's standards to avoid causing excessive harm to their Pokémon, but it's nice he at least acknowledged the squad's abilities, even offering some praise.
Seeing each Squirtle get their own personality was a plus, showing how they handle their new situation.
One question: how exactly would a Pokémon form a Protect barrier? Do they channel some innate energy and harden it into a nigh-impregnable shield? How do they tap into that supposed energy?
Man, once Squirtle meets his old team again, excrement is going to hit the fan. I seriously doubt their reunion will be a happy one, even if the squad is still loyal to him. I really hope that those four can be freed in the end and stick together. Though something like that will probably be a long way off.
I'm also curious if Squirtle could take down his team if needed. Ash has made sure Squirtle got better with close combat and acrobatics, but how well would the Tiny Turtle handle multiple opponents?
Well, it was pretty neat to see the Squirtle Squad is still going strong, even stronger with their training and despite working as thieves. I'll be looking forward to their future adventures and hopeful rescue.
-BrightNova169
8/16/2017 c4 4jaguarspot
It's very interesting to see how all of this is affecting Ash's pokemon, and how much effort they put in training even when they are not with him. I think eventually this will become a huge advantage.
4jaguarspotIt's very interesting to see how all of this is affecting Ash's pokemon, and how much effort they put in training even when they are not with him. I think eventually this will become a huge advantage.
8/12/2017 c4 1Snoozing Lurker
So... Charmander evolved! Not surprised.
And Professor Oak is appearantly having Damian under his supervision... hm. That has a lot of implications that aren't directly mentioned - from Damian receiving probably his starter from Professor Oak to having a tough upbringing, and Professor Oak may even know his parents as well.
Probably keep Damian out of sight of Ash, though. Ash will eventually return to Pallet, after all, even if only for a short while.
Talking about Ash and Professor Oak, which was about time... Professor Oak needs to know what Ash' Journey is like. I'm surprised Delia didn't tell him already.
1Snoozing LurkerSo... Charmander evolved! Not surprised.
And Professor Oak is appearantly having Damian under his supervision... hm. That has a lot of implications that aren't directly mentioned - from Damian receiving probably his starter from Professor Oak to having a tough upbringing, and Professor Oak may even know his parents as well.
Probably keep Damian out of sight of Ash, though. Ash will eventually return to Pallet, after all, even if only for a short while.
Talking about Ash and Professor Oak, which was about time... Professor Oak needs to know what Ash' Journey is like. I'm surprised Delia didn't tell him already.
8/12/2017 c4 219Fox McCloude
Oh, speaking of poetic justice in full expression. When karma bites you, it bites you HARD XD
I'm wondering if I should post the BtS chapters within the same story when I translate them. They can be useful as breather chapters between arcs.
219Fox McCloudeOh, speaking of poetic justice in full expression. When karma bites you, it bites you HARD XD
I'm wondering if I should post the BtS chapters within the same story when I translate them. They can be useful as breather chapters between arcs.
7/31/2017 c3 Fox McCloude
I need to get this one on alerts too. Can't believe I was missing out this chapter XD
Anyway, it was a nice chapter, it's good to see the Squirtle Squad. They're managing to get by, and considering their situation, the best they can do is to try and stick together. Speaking of, it's nice to see you've given them individual designations, that's a good first step to get them to have individual personalities. Hope to see more of them in the future.
P.S: I've already started the Spanish translation, but I think I'll wait until I have about four or five chapters ready before I start posting. Plus I have other stories to take care of.
I need to get this one on alerts too. Can't believe I was missing out this chapter XD
Anyway, it was a nice chapter, it's good to see the Squirtle Squad. They're managing to get by, and considering their situation, the best they can do is to try and stick together. Speaking of, it's nice to see you've given them individual designations, that's a good first step to get them to have individual personalities. Hope to see more of them in the future.
P.S: I've already started the Spanish translation, but I think I'll wait until I have about four or five chapters ready before I start posting. Plus I have other stories to take care of.